It was an organ harvesting. It was a "controlled" death and it was expected. But it still doesn't make it any easier to deal with!
With his body open from neck to pubic bone, the teams dissected everything apart and prepared to remove the lungs, liver, kidneys, and spleen from the organ donor patient. We worked for about 2 hours just trying to free everything up, the man's heart still beating away, only being kept alive by the machines.
With the chest and abdomen open, the surgeons clamped the aorta in the belly and suctioned the blood out. They filled the body cavities with ice. The machines beeped slower and slower until they stopped altogether. The heart stopped beating, the lungs stopped inflating, and the surgeons worked quickly to remove all the organs. There were student nurses in the room, learning about the procedure and one of the assistants showed them how he could stimulate the heart. I was mortified as he took a pair of forceps and prodded the heart to make it start back up! That was just wrong! This man was dying on our table and they were treating him like a science project.
After the organs were removed, me and the nurse started counting our supplies. I announced that I couldn't find a sponge. We have to remove all of the hospital instruments and supplies before they go to the morgue. The surgeons were working on other tables with their organs and it was just me and this organ donor in the center of the room.
All alone in a room full of people.
By ourselves.
I told the nurse I was missing something. I knew what I had to do and I couldn't. I wrestled with this thought. I pleaded in my thoughts to please be somewhere other than the body and searched the tables and floors for my sponge. But I couldn't find it. I knew it was in the body, and I knew I had to go get it. By myself!
So, I gently moved the bowel around a bit. It wasn't on top. I went to the open chest. It wasn't on top. So, I slid my hands into the body and searched under the stomach, under the bowels, under the lungs and under the heart. All the while, I was apologizing to this man in my head and to my maker for having to do this! I finally found it hiding against the abdominal wall near where the spleen would have been.
I walked out of that room 3 hours later, shaken and wondering if what I did that night was worth it. Somehow, I have to find peace with this.
ninibud92 posted on Apr 10, 2007
| views: 318
Comments
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silverwhisper said on Apr 10, 2007....
i'm sorry, i'm confused about something here, nini: the donor was, i take it, terminal?
ed -
ninibud92 said on Apr 10, 2007....
He was brain dead. I don't know what tests they perform to make that determination but it was disturbing to see this person "expire" right in front of me. Even though he was brought into the room on a ventilator, it appeared as if he was just sleeping.
I treated this like any other surgery. Prepped and draped as I always have, and took as much care with this patient as I would any other. Maybe that is why it was hard to "let him go".
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silverwhisper said on Apr 10, 2007....
it seems pretty clear the surgeons did not treat the patient in the same way. is that possibly a defense mechanism, do you suppose?
i can understand your desire to treat the patient with the same care as you would any other, but perhaps it's easier to handle it differently?
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ninibud92 said on Apr 10, 2007....
I've been thinking it is easier if I treat it differently but I don't think it would be dignified. To me, a patient is a patient, regardless of his health status.
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silverwhisper said on Apr 10, 2007....
i understand your compassion and professionalism, but i have a fear that the alternative may result in burn out.
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uniquely-ironic said on Apr 10, 2007....
Wow, I really admire that you are dedicated to treat each patient, regardless of their level of consciousness, as a real person. It would be easier to objectify the person as a shell that contained viable organs.I don't think it's supposed to be easy. I know the surgeons, in order to do their job, have to disassociate, but I'm sure it weighs heavy on their minds when the job is done.If there is a bright spot in this, it is that this person (or at least parts of him/her) will go on living in the organs they donated after their own body was unable to survive as a whole.Today you watched someone die. Perhaps tomorrow you will see someone live because of today. -
silverwhisper said on Apr 10, 2007....
oo, nice perspective, u-i!
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ninibud92 said on Apr 10, 2007....
u-i, you gave me chills thinking about what you said. Thanks for showing me the bright side. -
uniquely-ironic said on Apr 10, 2007....
ninibud - you're welcome. I have to tell you that last year I received an achilles tendon from a cadaver for my busted up knee. I realize it's not a major organ and that a person could live without one, but to me it saved me countless hours of rehab and gave me a chance to continue practicing jujitsu.I wish I could write a note to the donors family and tell them just how much I appreciate what their loved one did. -
ninibud92 said on Apr 10, 2007....
I'm happy that you were able to get help from a donor. It is always nice to hear the good side of things. I wish there was a way to let the family know too. As a member of the team, I get reports from our donor registry program about what gets assigned. They let me know the age, gender, and what organ the recipient received but no details of who or where, obviously.
Do you get any information at all? Have you tried to contact the donor registry to send a letter?
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uniquely-ironic said on Apr 10, 2007....
I asked about it in the surgeon's office and was told that they have no way of getting information when they request tissues like that. They weren't very helpful. I don't know who they went through, but if I did find out I'd at least write a letter with that request.I can't help but think that it would be a positive experience for both sides.I was an organ donor before this but now I'm proactive about asking those people that I know well enough if they are donors as well. -
luv2operate said on Oct 30, 2007....
I mean no disrespect, but if you're afraid to put your hands inside of someone's body ( alive or on a vent awaiting to pass away ) and if you can't understand that everyone is a learning tool ( of course, maintaining the utmost respect at all times ) and that the gift of life from organ donation whether post-mortem or on a vent is the most unselfish, wonderful gift anyone could offer then perhaps you are in the wrong field. I have been a certified surgical technologist for over 13 years and the knowledge I receive from my patients each and every day never ceases to amaze me. I am eager to assist on any case that God sends my way, no matter how sad, because we learn from all of them and are better able to help others in our future. Think about it. Surgery isn't for everyone. Good luck!
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