i dont know who i am. thats what i want to find out. i have anorexia, and i am 2 years clean and sober in aa.
a little bit about my past: a little over two years ago i was not a good person. i was shooting up heroin, smoking crack, meth, and snorting cocaine;along with drinking alcohol at every opportunity. i was nobody, living on the streets. i stole, lied, cheated, did anything to get more drugs. and then i found aa. its been a journey, but i am sober and clean and today i have a job, i pay my bills, i have an apartment, a car, among other things. i work hard and i try to be a good friend, daughter, sister, example.
i have anorexia. i have had that for a long time..when i got sober, it got worse. i want to find out who i am. this cycle of starvation is not what i want. i am more than this and yet i am so much less than this as wel. i have dreams now but this eating disorder is robbing them. im an artist, and i love it. im in art therapy, and it has been amazingly helpful. see, im only 21. im a 21 year old anorexic who is 5'4 and weighs in the low 90's. imtired of this sickness, and i dont want it but i dont know how to stop it. i can't go to aa for this. there is no anorexia programs around me. i feel alone a lot, and i hate that. i have so much to be grateful for and i want to remember that, and sometimes it gets hard when i have this illness.