• lidstrom82 said on Jul 12, 2006....

  The Bible tells us to honor our mother and our father, BUT it also tells parents not to exasperate their children. You are taking a job in part to help them financially, so you are doing your part. You do love them, but they ARE exasperating you. Being a faithful daughter does NOT mean letting them drive you to distress. You are of age to know that sometimes in order to love others best, you need to step away and let them grow. That's even more essential if that loved one is dependent upon you. You are their adult daughter, not a slave that they love only when you do what they say. Truthfully starbright, family is meant to have members who love each other unconditionally, no matter what. But your parents' love for you is conditional because they depend on you, and if you make your own decision, they'll do ANYTHING to keep you there. I believe they will come to their senses before long and realize just how much they damaged their relationship with you in the process of keeping you close. You're on the right track - we encourage you to go through with moving away and being on your own so that you learn your own identity, not just who you are to your parents, or who you are to your bf. Just yourself. It'll be a breath of fresh air. Just make sure to have a support system of friends and extended family, anyone that will objectively help you with this situation.

• ALIENated said on Jul 13, 2006....

  Both my parents are dead for a few years now. I still miss them every day. I miss the good things about them and try not to dwell on the bad things. I never doubted for one moment their love for me, and would imagine your parents feel the same about you. Something grips my heart every time my child walks out the door and drives off. I just pray and hand it over to God. Love your parents, but be assertive. You have your life to live. Deep down they know that. It is just really hard for parents to let go.

• Expendable said on Jul 13, 2006....

  We hurt the ones we love the most - wheither we want to or not. Your mom and dad are worried for you. They want to protect you. You want your independence, to live your own life. It's gonna hurt.

• LtCmdrWorf1 said on Jul 13, 2006....

  Q)is this typical adult behavior? A)Yes. Soon enough you will see for yourself. Peace and Long Life. Worf

• hotaka said on Jul 13, 2006....

  I think it is common, especially in Western Countries, for young adults to start looking at taking their first steps from the nest. I did it under heavy fire from my mother. My sister did it and was practically told not to come back. Years and years later, we are all good together and have been for a long time. My leaving was a mistake because the girl I was with turned out to be even more controlling than my mother. My sister had some bad experiences too. But we made it. We survived. My mother has long ago stopped with the "I told you so's" and we can still have Christmas dinners together without a family feud. You can do your best to say that you feel you must do this and that you feelings for your parents won't change. In the end, it is they who have to face up to the fact that their little girl is an adult and behaving in a perfectly adult fashion.

• blogme01 said on Jul 14, 2006....

  Maybe your parent don't like the idea of you living the house and moving in with you boyfriend. Some if not most children that leave the family home is because on their own they obey no rules. You and your boyfrined are free to do whatever you want. Your boyfriend will have sex with you as soon as your out of the house and staying with him. And for a parent that's scarry. If you are going to leave the house let it be for the right reason. You say you moving out of your home to help support them. I could not reconcile that reason. Except if your job is from another state or country that excuse is reasonable. But if your place of work is near your house I find it odd. How could you help financially if you would pay for your own expenses when you leave your home? Will your boyfriend shoulder the house expenses when you move in with him?

• rochella said on Jul 14, 2006....

  Everything will be okay. If your parents really love you, this will pass as a feud. They just need to learn to let go, and once they realize you're happy, they might be okay.

• hunter_boyce_chandler said on Jul 14, 2006....

  I'm convinced 1) that no one really knows how to be a good parent. They have to learn by screwing up. 2) that no one gets Ozzy and Harriet. I know they existed cause I saw them on TV. 3) that no one will ever live up to our expectations. Expect for my wife of course, she's perfect in every way. She has sharp things...

• morbid_fruit said on Jul 15, 2006....

  Funny...I'm having the same problem with my parents. I know that everything will work it's way out, one way or another, but it's just a pain in the but while it's still all tangly.

• babyextreme said on Jul 18, 2006....

  BEst in luck dude in ur relationship wif ur parent~ & thxs 4 da share . . ^^

• a_muse said on Jul 18, 2006....

  i just went through a simialr predicament. i'm still at home. she got angry pulled guilt and that was it. she told me my 10 year old brother would have to come home alone(for several hours). she told me how selfish i was and so on. it hurt so much. now my resentment simmers beneath my skin and i find passive-aggressive ways to return the favor.

• starlightstarbright said on Jul 19, 2006....

  a_muse, that is exactly how I was beginning to feel. I was really resentful, and I finally realized that in order for me to find happiness, I needed to break out on my own. I would still be around at home when I'm needed, but sometimes you just need to find your independence. When you do, you'll be much happier.

• crazyrelations said on Jul 31, 2006....

  i'm just a few steps behind you, still living at home, but raring to leave. already my folks are driving me nuts. i doubt if it'll get any better when i get to where you are now. but hey, you need to start living your own life. good luck!

• tifa said on Aug 08, 2006....

  i think you should sit down and talk to your parents. I mean, your parents have done absolutely everything for you your entire life. I just think its fair that you sit down and work this out with them before storming off on your own and not talk to them for several years. You should leave home on good terms, make sure that they will still support you if ever you need them when you move out. Cuz friends might come and go, but its really family that sticks around all your life. Its normal for your parents to be angry with your decision. Maybe you should come up with a list of pros and cons. maybe you're not making the step because you're not 100% ready to do this.

• starlightstarbright said on Aug 08, 2006....

  tifa: This is a rather old blog of mine, and I have since moved. Things are great between my family and I, and my parents have accepted my decision. I visit them every week and call every day, so it's like I'm still there with them. I'm glad we're on such good terms now. I think it's just hard for parents to let go of their first born especially.

• starlightstarbright said on Apr 08, 2008....

  I know this post was a long time ago, but since then, I've reconciled with my mom.  About the whole thing.  My mother and father were the best parents I could have ever asked for; they would do anything to make me happy.  I was a goody two  shoes, I'll admit.  Then again, times have changed, and I am the rebel.  Even still, I still thank God for all the memories I cherish of my father.  He was truly a wonderful man and the best father a girl could have.  More on this on another post...

• LtCmdrWorf1 said on Apr 08, 2008....

  I'm truly glad to hear that you have made up with your parents.  My dad died this year, and I was so glad that we were able to settle some of our differences before he died.  Life is short, too short to hold grudges against anyone especially your parents.  Peace and Long Life
   
  Love Worf

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