INSTALLING LOVE
Customer Service Rep: Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love.
Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install
now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located  your  HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
  and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer  disrupt
other  programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a  module
of ts own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to  completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE   and RESENTMENT.COM.  Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can  you   turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke  FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and  RESENTMENT.COM
have   been completely erased.    

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself   automatically.   Is  that normal?
CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will  reinstall  for  the life of your HEART.
Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.
You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the  upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON  INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on  external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your   HEART. It is one of those complicated programming    things, but in non-technical terms it means you have   to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files
and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and
ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will
overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE  from  all
directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure  it is
completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new   files.SMILE.MPG is
playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and
CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this
normal?

CS Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually   everything
gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and  running.

You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before  I  go.     
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its  various modules to everybody you meet. They will in   turn share it with other people and they will return
some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your  name?
CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician, but most call me God.      Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up  to stay heart-healthy, but as the Maker I suggest a   schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.
Put another way, keep in touch.