As a single mom I try to create the best possible relationship with my only son. I think that it would probably be the same way even if I wasn't divorced. Ever since he was born I had him around my body in a fabric wrap until he got too big to carry. When he couldn't lay in it anymore, he would sit up in the fabric, holding my waist with his leggs. I think he might have been at least a year old, or even older when I finally couldn't carry his weight any more, and stopped carry him around.
This was NOT the best decision I could make as a new mother. As a baby he always demanded to be on me, and I couldn't even go pee without him. I remember one day calling my father over seas carying to him that I cannot do this any more. He yelled at me to put that child down immediatelly, and don't even look at him for at least a half an hour. It was hard but I had to break this bad habbit.
Of course used to breast feed too, and because he was still a baby when I got divorced, he was ALWAYS with me where ever I was.
I actually do not complain about this close realationship we've developed. Of course, I'm having a hard time as a single mom with a young child and no family around, because I basically have no life at all. But I know it's temporarly and that he'll soon want to live his own life. I'm still young and I still will be, when all that freedom will hit me. Right now I just want to be a good mom and a good provider for him.
However, here is this thing he does, that I KNOW is due to the above. When ever I sit down and he sits next to me, he kind of leans his body weight on me. It is cute for a minute or two, but after a while it's annoying. Not to mention that he is almost 7, so his body is gettin heavy.
After a while I start to feel that he is laying on me, as if I was a couch or something, and I have to hold him up so he can sit confortably. It happenes all the time - on the bus, at home, even in restaurants.
"Get off me!", "Get off my back!", "Don't lean on me!"
I find myself yelling at my son all the time. First I just remind him, but than he moves and not more than 5 minutes he is back. I don't think he realize that he is doing it. But I can tell it hurts his feelings that I push him away. I don't care that he lays on my shoulder if I lay down and we watch tv. I like holding my son. But not ALWAYS, and not ALL of his body weight.
I wonder how long this will go on. I mean, how old will he get untill he will no longer want to touch his mother "cause it's uncool".
One of the blogs I read here was about mother- ism , things our mothers used to say, and things we find ourselves repeating.
My mom never told me to get off her back, but I know that my son will remember me telling him that.
But it really is annoying.... And I do love my son a lot.
