I once read a discussion on this topic and saw only banal and thoughtless responses. "The important thing is that the man and woman love each other." I hope for a deeper discussion here.
In the Deep South where I grew up most interracial relationships are viewed askance. White-Asian or white-Mexican (or more rarely white-Arab or white-Indian) are at the same level of conspicuity. White-black is far more conspicuous. It draws more looks, not necessarily reproachful. It inspires a curiosity absent the other couplings. Why? I used to wonder if it wasn't because whites and blacks are the two extremes of skin tone, that the contrast of their hands intwined was stark as a zebra. I don't know if there's any truth in those wonderings.
Now I live in the open-minded West. Nobody looks twice at white-Asian or white-Mexican. White-black, though, still gets attention, stares from strangers. Again, just curious probably. And I'm guilty. I do it too. Before I'd seen the behavior out West, I'd've been tempted to call the phenomenon a legacy of Southern rearing. But that's inaccurate. It's a hallmark of American life as far as I can tell.
And not just American life. My Thai friends tell me it's the same way in Thailand. A Thai woman can marry a white man and suffer no stigma, and their children are liked, but if she marries a black man she is looked down upon. I used to live in Japan. It's similar there but probably not as pronounced as in Thailand. And I've spent months in Australia. Same situation there. Only the white-black arrangements are curiosities or worse. So it doesn't seem reasonable to blame the situation on America's iniquitous past.
As for kids, from my experience white-Asian mixbreeds are hardly jeered at in school or discriminated against in real life. Same with white-Mexican mixbreeds. There was a half-Asian kid at my high school in The South. Not even the meanest kids, who would pry at any abnormality, ever mentioned it. I know white parents in The South and out West who've encouraged their sons to have kids with their Asian wives. "You'd have beautiful children together." These same parents would not be enthusiastic about kids if the wife were black. Like the couples that produce them, white-black mixbreeds draw attention and maybe more. There might be a stigma there not present in white-black childless marriages.
I haven't heard anyone break it down like this. I think people either don't think about it or forsake candor in favor of feel-good tripe or think this kind of analysis is wrong in part or altogether. I'd like to hear well-considered opinions.
Why do you think this seemingly widespread and perhaps worldwide discrimination of black interracial marriages and half-black children exists?
Since the advent of Civil Rights, America has publically striven for racial harmony and has hoped that one day, once time has diluted the evil of slavery, we will live as brothers. But considering the information above, is that a realistic goal?
Is racial harmony more achieveable among some races than others?
And in seeing that blacks are usually the odd race out, is my observation biased? Or fairly accurate?
Thanks for your input,
Moh W.
Dunedin posted on Mar 24, 2007
| views: 2961
Comments
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TinSoldier said on Mar 24, 2007....
Mohamed.w wrote: "White-black is far more conspicuous. It draws more looks, not necessarily reproachful. It inspires a curiosity absent the other couplings. Why? I used to wonder if it wasn't because whites and blacks are the two extremes of skin tone, that the contrast of their hands intwined was stark as a zebra."
Mohamed, I think this statement hits it right on the head. People stare because of the contrast. People judge because of the contrast. I believe that things are getting better, but still...
I'm a tolerant person. I have black nieces and nephews. I'm a full supporter of interracial marriages and relationships. However, they still cause me as a white person to do a double take. For me it's more of a "Right on!" kind of feeling, but no matter what it still grabs the eye.
I figured out years ago that if the human race survives, we will eventually be relatively racially homogeneous. I don't really think that's a bad thing. It will remove one more factor for humans to fight each other over.
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pascodelta said on Mar 28, 2007....
My Father is Nigerian and Mother Irish, so I have no hang-ups about inter-racial marriages, but one thing I would say, I feel as a young person, I fell into the cultrual void in between at times.I don't look Nigerian or Irish as a result of this union and being brought up in the UK, I did not look English either...this wasn't a major problem, but as a small boy (if I am honest), I did want to be one or the other...Now, I am a grown man, I'm cool with it and can say there are some benefits..... I agree with you; the black/white thing is difficult to put your finger on, but I hazard a guess that we have a bit of slavery overhang possibly. In the UK now, it's not such a big thing - black/white mixed couples and their kids are on every high street. -
mom said on Mar 29, 2007....
In my youth, it was something people didn't do. It wasn't even a question. Now that I am older I see nothing wrong with marrying different races. If they truly love each other then with them there is only one color. If I was ever single and looking, I would be more open to dating blacks, asians, etc.than I may have been at one time. -
marysaaka said on May 03, 2007....
Product I have a problem with the use of the term in this sistuation, products, do you mean can good, packages becasue if you are referring to there childrens, then the term offspring would be a better choice of word. -
TheKinkyCupcake said on Aug 18, 2007....
I wish everyone accepted this. It hurts having to hide it. -
jessica332 said on Sep 18, 2007....
I am in an interracial relationship with a guy outside of my race. oh,,,, guys, you can not image what I have met. I am a black cuttie girl and I just met my love half year ago and we will get married next month, and interracial love of course. Am I lucky? So lucky I think, and I wanna share my happiness with all of you here.
By the way, I found my half part baby on a great interrachats site. He is really gorgeous, even sometimes he is a little shy. -:) If you try InterracialMatch.com, you also can be the next lucky one. LOL. Bye!! and good luck to you all. -
jessica332 said on Oct 22, 2007....
As some of you know may know, I'm of Africa heritage. Hubby, on the other hand, is Caucasian. To most people, we're an interracial couple. It's nothing I really think about or notice, but other people (occasionally) comment on it.
As a result, I'm fairly sensitive to interracial dating. And I recently discovered InterracialChats, an interracial dating website for men and women who are specifically looking for an interracial relationship. The site features people of all ethnicities, ages and socio-economic backgrounds, and it allows you to search by zip code for interracial personals.
The user friendly site allows members to send messages to potential dates, and you can join for free. The profiles include plenty of information, such as age, marital status, children, pets, music and movie preferences, political views and more. With this much information, it's easy to find someone who could be a great romantic match for you! -
Tink11464 said on Oct 26, 2007....
I am married - we are an interracial couple - - he is Jamaican and I am white. We have been together 15 years, married 9 of those 15. We have had many obstacles - such as an attorney dropping a custody case I had because of the fact that the relationship would be brought up (this was 15 years ago) to not be able to get into a club, because they didn't let "black" people in, the many stares, the ignorant people who will ignore you in stores or restaurants, etc....We have one child together - who - if I must say so myself is absolutely beautiful :o) Absolutely everyone comments on her - about how pretty she is (some people even sound as if they are surprised). But no matter what - in people's eyes - they see her as black before they see her as white...On the incident of the club - our friend (who is Jewish) said to me that we wouldn't be able to get into this club because they don't allow blacks or jewish people - - and I was like that's ridiculous - why wouldn'they let us in? Okay - because Jeff is Jewish we can't go in??? It took a few minutes and it hit me - - Ohhhhh - (speaking to my hubby) you're black.I don't see the color - I only see the great person that he is... The same is said for anyone I know. Whether it's their age, height, weight, color, whatever - - I only see them for who they are. It's a shame that it isn't like that everywhere. -
jerrell1973 said on May 02, 2008....
I Have some of the same feeling coming from an interacial background myself, My great grandmother came from a place called clayton georgia and she was cherokeefrom her mother and her father was mulatto therfore she lived being called black, she had a son my grand father by a cherokee and black man but he was considered black. because of my great grand mother skin tone and straight hair she got by as long as my grand father wasnt with her I was told. all this was on my mother's side, and many people mistake her for being hispanic, expecially while we were living in texas back then, My father favors barack Obama with the same genetic make up it seems but his father wasnt african but an american black man. He was reared my his grand mother my great grand mother whose father was white and mother was black foot indian she married my great grandfather who was black. No matter whats in my genetic pool I'm still consider a black man. even though my children come out with hazel , grey and blue eyes and one has freckles. I come from and interacial past and my wife is interacial or mixed breed? people oftend wonder what race she is, some thinks she hispanic,jewish or polish even native american but not black even though her maternal grandmother was black and she had twins by an italian man her mother's father who had had my by a black and jewish man . taking about interacial I got your recipe..... Jerrell -
anonymous said on Aug 29, 2008....
Well... Let me start by saying I am a mixed child (cuba and Black) for most of my past relationships I have dated out of my race mexican, jamaican, belizian, also cubans and black guys. Never a white guy tho, never by chose. Just never seem to run across one tht I had a connection with. Until last year, I met this wonderful Caucasian man (on myspace of all places)and we been together for 1 year already. I love him so... Im just waiting for him to pop the question :) So far we have not recived too many racial remarks, we did get some stares here and there in the beginning of our relationship, but not much anymore. I dont think the stares have stoped I just think I have learned to ignore them. -
Missiep said on Jul 03, 2009....
I'm currently in a mixed relationship and have been for seven years now, I'm black+white, & he's german, Russian & Italian! I'm raised in Israel & have only really dated outside of my black race. Since I've been in the US, 7yr now, it seems that it's such a big deal who you date and what they look like. It bothers me a lot........ But I can handle it! What bothers me most though is that the African American community are the ones who seem to have he biggest problem with it. It's always "well u need to choose a side" like it's a war between the races or something. Black men date who they want, white Asian Hispanic, but they still want to comment negatively when seeing a "black" woman with a white man. The most common remark is "he can't handle you, only a brotha can hit it like it needs to be hit" I know, stupid right? & black women seem to think that I think I'm better then them because I snaged a white man. I've learned to ignore the stupid comments with a smile and the knowlege that ignorence is bliss with some people. For the most part I've gotten somewhat used to it, biggest concern now is that we have a baby on the way any day now and it bothers me that she/he may have to experience some crulty from others because of her/his mixed haritage. I can only teach my child to handle it with Grace & the knowledge that it's ignorance and not their fault how other people see them because of this ignorance. I know soon things will change more though, there are so many mixed couples and children now that there is no choice but for change to take place!!!!!!!
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