• Katana said on Mar 30, 2007....

  Mother in laws problems are common.........I've ended up with mother in laws who are connected to their only son; who find it difficult to let go at marriage.......... Meddling.
  My first marriage, the old bat she hated the idea we got married, she invited herself over when ever she wanted to, she showed no respect and privacy as we were a married couple, she always knew what was best for her son, she was interfering, disapproving and demanding. Our marriage ended...... I heard she disowned him cause he had a child out of marriage.
  
  My present marriage, well what can I say........ she gets on my nerves, but it's different. My first marriage I went along, always worried if I would upset her, and my ex knew that she was interfering, but did not care to change anything.
  Now, I feel valued by my husband and he makes sure to let his parents know that I am important person in his life and our marriage is secure. I don't like confrontations, but I've changed I would mention to her if she's said something out of order. My hubby is sensitive to my feelings, and he acts on what pisses me off when she starts criticizing. I've never hidden anything from him about my past relationship, so he knows exactly that am not about to let history repeat itself.
  

• sugar1 said on Mar 31, 2007....

  I feel that my husband makes an effort to let his family know that I am the most important person in his life now, but sometimes I feel that it may change and he will side with them. Do you or have you ever felt that way with your husband and if so how did you deal with it?

• Katana said on Mar 31, 2007....

  I'm sorry that you feel this way....... I can't say I have felt this way. I try not to say anything bad about his mother, cause I don't want to hurt his feelings and he does love his parents the same as I do with my Mum.
  A husband needs to prioritize his loyalties, and you should be #1. Have you tried talking to him about what your MIL has been doing and how you've been feeling?
  I always let him know how I feel; he doesn't entertain his mother's selfish suggestions or sarcasm. My husband knows we don't want her controlling our relationship or getting me upset, it puts a strain on any relationship.
  What does your husband say to you regarding his mother's attitude towards you?
  Have you ever spoken to your MIL about what shes been saying or do you think this might cause more problems MIL taking it the wrong way?
  What was your relationship like with MIL before you got married? {HUGS}
  
  

• whitneyaprilharris said on Jan 16, 2009....

  I have to add to the topic of this conversation... I got married in September of 2008 and we had a beautiful wedding. However, ever since me and my husband got engaged, my MIL has been down right rude, mean, and hurtful to me. My husband was married before me and has a son.. The MIL always brings up the ex to me everytime we are around her. She tells stories of her and she thinks her son and grandson walk on water. She always makes sure my husband is not around and then starts talking to me badly. And every time we get together, she tells me not to have children and that I shouldnl't have children because they have enough and she thinks it would be a good idea in case "something were to happen".. So besides that, this xmas, she regifted a $4 bottle of half used perfume and gave it to me as a gift in front of the whole family and then wanted me to put it on. She threw the gift at me and said, "here." So that was humiliating. Not to mention, she always always always talks to my husbands son in private when we get there and when we leave.. He is the culprit because every 10 year old wants their parents to get back together so I can only imagine the stories he tells the MIL. So my advice is that try and be the bigger person and try and stay sane for the kids sake.... I just foudn out I am pregnant so she is going to flip when we tell them.

• burnsrunner said on Apr 09, 2009....

  Currently there is a book going around that is helping all mother's and their daughter-in-laws. It is called, "The Mother-in-Law Manual," by Susan Lieberman. It would make for a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Personally, I hesitated giving this book to my mother-in-law, but now I am soooo glad I did.

• VLM said on Jun 22, 2009....

  I feel like I'm part of a big group! I thought there was something wrong with me, and so was the reason why she hates me. Well, I kinda had a clue, the #1 I married HER son. She told me she wanted him to be a priest but I kinda ruined it. When I met my husband we dated for a few months and then he asked me to married him. I love him so much, and we have a adorable baby boy. But when she found out about his decision, I heard she refers to me like "a nobody" and made a whole issue about that. I tried to be comprehensive and understand the fact that they did not trust me because we barely spoke and never met before. So I swallowed it and stay calm. After a few months, she start acting like she finally approved me. So I thought this silent fight was over. But when she came to our house after I gave birth, she became this kind of MIL that hell nobody wish to have. I couldn't enjoy to breastfeed my baby, because she needed so BADLY to go out everyday (we are stationed in Japan, my husband is the USAF) I have to say, I never said I was going to take her out if she came over, I never promise her to be her tourist guide... I feel like I neglected my baby all the time she stayed in my house. And this is the funny part, whenever she was alone with me, she treated me like .."Please call me mom" (yeah sure) But when she went to have dinner alone with my husband, I found out she was warning my husband about me, since I am not an American citizen, so she believes once I get education (I don't know what to think with that, I don't have college but I finish high school, and I don't come from a jungle) I will leave my husband, because, all the women like me does it... (F*** that S***!) Plus, she gave me the hint, that my husband just married me because I am a stupid that does everything in the house and does all he wants. And she said I am just a crush for her son. SO, to be honest, I don't even want to be near her, this is crazy. I refused to move to US so she wouldn't try to controlled our lives and gives her opinions about every thing we do, and also, because I did not married my husband to get a US visa, I have a Japanese visa because my grand parents were Japanese, I dont care living in other countries ether. I still feel angry for all the things that happened while she was here, but I also don't feel good keepping my husband away from her because (its so hard but) she is his mother.I know eventually we are going to have to move to US someday, and I know my husband will want me to accept her and deal with all that s**** I want my baby to have a place to spend xmast and thanksgiving etc, but I am afraid that she will always be a stomp on my way... and I don't know if I will be able to deal with that. I love my husband and my baby.

• motherinlaw said on Sep 26, 2009....

  help somebody...i met my fiance two years ago and we are about to get married, everything is booked and we are so very in love and cant wait to get married but my mother in law has jus stated tht she doesnt want him to marry me becoz she doesnt trust me...i felt broken hearted wen he told me coz i always thought she was okay, i mean we have never been the best of frends, i always did sense tht she was somewhat not into me...but my fiance always reassured me sayin she did, he is her only son and i do understand what she is goin through...but my patience is just wearing thin becoz i havent done anythin to deserve her rude comments and claiming tht im not trustworthy...even though i helped mend my fiances relationship with his sister...i am practically torn into pieces everytime im over at her house because she now makes it clear tht she dont like me.....and so now his sister has joined in to....im so afraid what she is gonna be be doin once we are married...interfering...for example...my fiance wanted me to come along and help him pic a car out to buy...since we are getting married in three months...but she didnt want to come if i was...so in the end he ended up goin with her...wenever i try and ask him to tok to his mum, he doesnt seem to be bothered by his mums behaviour...she even went on to ignore my family in town and he didnt say anything bout it either...and i jus feel so sad all the time like she is wedging in between us coz im so mad he doesnt do anything bout it......somebody help me......

• anonymous said on Oct 12, 2009....

  my mother in-law really never want to get to know me, she alway ingnored me when I came to see her son. before we got married my mother in law brother and sister law had a dinner party which they invited my mom and I. Well during the dinner party she stood up and stated that she didn't want any more grandchildren, that she didn't want me to have kids. My finance at that time did not stand up, but my mother stood up and said I want grandchildren. This woman never got to know me at all.

• rosebud said on Oct 13, 2009....

  what I do is just be polite when you have to visit and just ignore her.  See I've experience alot of drama from my mother inlaw.
  She was rude to my family and relatives. 
  Whats important is your man and you, not the stupid mother inlaw.  Just act like she is not a part of your life.
  Tell your man how you feel in a discreet way, if you surpress it for several years it will make you sick, it almost made me sick.  I had gained weight and was crying all the time.  Whats important is your family, relatives and friends keep them close to you and spend time with them. If you have a close brother or sister talk with them about this, so you have someone on your side that you can go to.
  
  

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