• pixiegirl2 said on Mar 17, 2007....

  have u ever thought of talking to her, ever thought of asking her directly, why she is acting that way. try to compliment her, say how good she is, say her what a good aunt she'll make. something may be bothering her. something must have hit her hard to not to stay in touch with her family. it would be hard for her and you to do the talking, she may first resist, but if u r really good in persuasion try to get whatever is bothering her out of her. stop being mad at her and say often that u care. nothing cures better than love. give her as much love as u can. make her realise how she is acting and how much it disturbs you and the rest of the family. i can see her problems because, i'm 19 too. and life for us now is lot more complicated than u think. try to get to know her better, show her the love, may be u can see a difference. 

• openclose said on Mar 17, 2007....

  pixie - I have tried talking to her.  I tell her I care, I tell her she is very intelligent, etc.  I have spent as much time with her as she will allow.  I've told her that she is my fashion expert, she is really good at picking out clothes that are appropirate for me and she does really well with make up.  Yes, the something that hit her hard was me.  I left her father almost two years ago for something that I thought was better.  When i got out of the 'better' situation, it threw me into a tailspin and I ended up trying to commit suicide.  I've now been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and until my meds were stabilized, I was out of control and I said something to her that shouldn't have been said.  She disowned me for several months.  We are much better now.  That being said, that does not explain her actions towards her sister or her nieces.  She has hurt more people in the family than she realizes.  I'm hoping this phase will pass.  If this IS a phase.

• secretlife said on Mar 17, 2007....

  i believe it's a phase openclose.  teenagers ....and i realize she is 20...but thru the end of college...they are selfish creatures who believe the world starts and stops with them.
   
  try to hang in there.  the stress of the family situation has got to be having an effect on her too.....this  will pass.

• boyzmom said on Mar 17, 2007....

  It probably is a phase, my sister did something similar except she stayed in touch with me but not the rest of the family. Unfortunately I was going through a phase also and not able to handle hearing about her problems all the time. She was ashamed of herself, and I didn't help. My sister was reaching out for help with her drug addiction but I didn't know what to do or say. My Dad didn't call her and she didn't call him. I was always the one they talked to and I passed information back and forth between them. She will probably always feel guilty about not staying in touch now that Dad is gone and not getting up to see him and let the kids see him before he died.

• pixiegirl2 said on Mar 17, 2007....

  try to convince her, say that u were sorry, and u wish u could take it all back, but u can't, appologise to her, it would be hard for u first, but if u really want ur daughter back, do whatever it takes. tell her that her sister didn't do anything and if her sister really cared ask her to talk to her, she might talk freely with her sister than u, try it, i'm not sure if that would work or not, but it is worth a try. ask her sister to say, how much she misses her little sister and how much she would love to get her old little sister back and how much she is missing with her nieces, like their little funny talks, u know all those kiddy stuff, anyone could fall for that, ask her sister to tell abt her nieces, childhood days and how much she could have enjoyed it with them and how much she has missed, try it.

• openclose said on Mar 18, 2007....

  Thank you all for your great advice.  Unfortunately, I have tried all of that and none of it worked.  She and I are fine now, still rebuilding but on very good terms.  It's the sister/sister thing that is driving me nuts.  The older one has tried many times to bridge the gap.  The youngest one is being stubborn.  It's like, out of site out of mind.  There are times when I just want to shake her and wake her up.  I didn't raise my kids to be this way.  I think that is what bugs me the most.  The other two turned out to be respectable, caring adults.  This one is going to drive me nuts.

• pixiegirl2 said on Mar 18, 2007....

  anytime, pleasure to help, don't just blame it on u

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