Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I dreamt about Vince yesterday night.
In my dream, Blair walked away, I was sitted next to V.and I asked for his forgiveness.
We kissed...
It's like I want his forgivenss, I still would like to know things about him...
It's sad not to have any contact... It's sad but he cannot be in my life again.
--
Still cannot prevent me to think about what could have been..
I dunno if I did the right thing.
Every time I read about L.A. I feel a thrill running through all my body
If only Jules would have reached me before I became too weak and alone to wait
Naaaaa, that sounds A LOT like an excuse.
I know the problem is I never really loved him completely & probably I was trying to convince myself about the contrary
Well, I dunno really..
I wonder if I'll ever be able to say I love u to Blair and really meaning it.
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Monday, November 13, 2006
A nice Sunday - Met Blair's family (his grandma too!)
I was a lil embarassed at first but they're so easy going that everything went well eventually.
When they went out of his flat, I could not resist and started kissing him and arousing him.. We end up making sex..
His control has got something I respect and envy...
He can chose when let it go or if he wants to go on and on...
Just incredible..
Later at night he explained me it's just a matter of concentration.
he suggested me to think of what can make me feel excited so that I can come easily..
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Monday, November 06, 2006
Vince, I miss you!
I miss your messages
The way you encouraged me
The way you loved me
The way you are
Your eyes..
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Friday, November 03, 2006
SMS wanted..
back to some weeks ago, Blair used to keep me company during the day with sms.
I remember the period before we get closer -- I got tons of sms from him.
Now, he's almost silent all the time.
And I am getting nervous coz I am insecure -- I wonder if he does it coz he's tired of me...
Plus, some days ago he wrote me that he was waiting for the right moment to tell me something. I wonder what that was. Good-bye?
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novembre 30, 2006
Bill, Crosby and Nash have a song called "Love the one ur with"
This sounds like a good advice.
My problem is that I dunno what love is.
I thought I was in love with Vince. But now I doubt it.
I was probably just trying to convince myself. I still think that Vince was a special person.
He's a good man and full of qualities.
And I don't think my only problem was the lack of sex.
I've been living without it for a long period...
I think the problem was/is that I dunno how to recognize when I am in love.. And I wanted to love him!!
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novembre 29, 2006
It was a good evening yesterday with Blair.
He showed me some pictures he took with his new camera, and a very brilliant one with his shadow reflected on the silver surface of a symbol. Very cool pix!!
He also showed me a video on his pc of the place in the mountain when we'll go next week. Wonderful place, from what I saw. He's been there on vacation this summer. Alone. It made me a lil sad to think he spent his vacation all alone. But he took some photographs that were incredible!!
It's been a quite night. He was tense at the beginning, but then everything became more easy and he was just cudding me and it's been nice. I let him know it this morning via sms. He said he felt good him too...
