I could use some help. Some of you have read the post about my son who is not biologically mine. I have been searching my heart to try and decide when to tell him that he started out a little differently from his brother and sisters.
I have decided not tell him yet. I weighed it in my mind (over and over) and finally I cam to the conclusion he is just not emotionally mature enough to handle it yet. I think I will know with mom-intuition when he will be ready. Thanks to everyone who gave me their thought ful opinions, it helped enormously to get feedback from fresh perspectives.
My next problem is this: I have decided to try and find her parents or another relative of hers. My reason is my son had a pretty slow start his first few years. He was behind in his verbal skills, and had some difficultywith various physical things until he got to be about 7 or 8, then he caught up. He also has a very volatile temper and has vision problems. I would really like to know his medical history on his mother's side. It would help me know what to look for if there are things that he might be prone to.... or susceptible to.
So, I went to a few "People Finder" web sites. I spent 20 bucks only to verify I found her name, but they want another 50 bucks to get further information. That is just simply not in my budget right now.
Does anyone know how to find someone they have never met? I know her full name and her date of birth. Have no idea what she looks like. I really do NOT ever want to meet this wench in person, but I would like to write her or her family members a letter explaining my request. I think if I could appeal to her parents (my son's biological grandparents), they would probably help me. From what I have heard from people who knew them before they moved they are nice people, although I can't understand a grandparent that doesn't want contact with their grandchild, but that's another story. :)
Any ideas? I don't want to do anything underhanded or illegal, but I need to do this for my son.
