Phone calls with V. today...

It's been the last time that I listened to his voice, that anger and pain, his asking me what the other guy is for me… He told me that he could try to leave this behind for how much he loves me…
All words...
And the same evening, after this sad goodbye, I gave head to B.....He says he's happy when I'm around, embraces me, kisses me, have sex with me and tries in thousand ways to make me come...
And for a moment, I would have liked to open my eyes and to find me in the arms of mine V.
Not to see anymore his nickname in my e-mail box … not to never read one of his words, not to know what he does, who's next to him.
And even if everyone tells me that it's the right thing that I am doing, I still have these tears and I try to move and to make things coz if I stop -- as I am doing now -- tears attack to me?