In real life, I admit that I really do pretend to be someone else, one that I want to be. Reasons for this would be obvious – acceptance and popularity. The feeling of acceptance and appreciation is far more important for me than being identified as who I really am inside. This may be bad for others as pretending is sometimes an unforgivable crime in the social community of friends. While some have fallen for the guised me, there are still many who have the sense to doubt my actions and my stories. Mind you, I don't make up unbelievable stories of my life. Most I got from other people's stories that I've heard about. It's not an easy thing to do and consistency is the real name of the game. One different story from the first that I told and then a loophole is found.
With different sets of friends, I have different sets of stories to tell about my life. It's not that I'm a liar, I just don't want to open up to anyone. Lying and not trusting are two different things. Other than my family, no one knows exactly who I am in real life.
Though I am like this in real life, I am totally different when in WoW. The real me, I show to my online friends. They may not know it, but the one they're conversing with - personality, ideas, and all - is the naked me. When I play WoW, I expose myself with all my flaws to the virtual environment.
I feel safe and at home around trolls, orcs, undead, and other unearthly creatures. In WoW, we are all camouflaged and since that is the case, I might as well drop the mask I have in reality. The thousands of miles distance gives me the assurance that I'll never meet them IRL, so it's safe to be just me.
I know this is really odd for many, but that's just how I want to run my life. Trusting people IRL has never been appealing to me. Knowing that they can easily misjudge you for a word unintended to harm but otherwise did. And then you're left to face them and even though explanation has been presented, they still bombard you with senseless questions just to harm your being. Then you can't help but just give up and leave them be with what they believe.
In WoW, I take full responsibility of my actions and my ideas, if it in any way caused harm. I can face up to the challenge with my head held high as I know that I'm not face to face with them and they can do no damage in my personality IRL. You may arrive at the conclusion that I am coward, and in some way I have to admit. I have no strength to defend my actions face to face. Thus, in order to avoid backstabbing people IRL, I just create a new being, one that's totally different from the real me, so that they could misjudge me all they want and I wouldn't be left sulking on how it had hurt me so much.
