• silverwhisper said on Feb 22, 2007....

  you know, i'm very curious to see precisely how this goes over, purr, b/c i think it's a good plan. your experiment seemed to work pretty darned well, so my expectation is that this will be effective, too!
  
  ed

• boyzmom said on Feb 22, 2007....

  My first grader is already complaining that homework is boring and trying to get out of doing his reading during the week. I can't imagine what will happen when he gets older but this is a good idea if he starts covering it up and lying. Good luck with this and remember, it's not just pressure from you that would make him lie to cover it up but peer pressure at school to see what he can get away with.

• purrrkitten said on Feb 22, 2007....

  silver, I used this with JH last year when he kept getting in trouble at school and, usually, just the threat of being my "slave" gets him to stop acting up. This will be a good reminder for him too.

  boyz, I try not to pressure him and he knows that he'll get in more trouble for lying than if he just told the truth in the first place - thus the extreme punishment. Personally, I really don't agree with homework just for the sake of homework. The kid spend five hours a day at school and it's a real bummer to have to come home and do more schoolwork, you know? If he goofs off at school and doesn't get the work done then, absolutely, send it home! But if he's worked hard all day... ?

• shortone said on Feb 22, 2007....

  Hey Purr,
   
  I have been through this 2 times... with 2 different results.  So I guess results may vary.  My oldest, now 19, did a lot of "losing assignments" and such or would just not do homework.  We took away all priveldges, gave him chores and when he was suspended from school he went to work with us and did hard labor for free (at the nod of our bosses).  Honestly, what worked for us was getting him into a private school for at risk youths.  If it were not for that school I believe I would be in jail for murder.  There was nothing that worked for him.  He is also bipolar and ADHD pretty severe so I had a lot of rages and throwing things and such later on.  When that happened the homework thing seemed like not as big of a deal...though I know it really is for you and hopefully your solution will pay off.
   
  My daughter is Aspergers, she is gifted and she said from 1-4th grade that she doesnt need to study or do homework because she already knew everything.  5th grade was MUCH different.   Math became harder for her and like you she had trouble with long division. If it was anything of a challange she would find any excuse to get out of work (forgot the book, paper,etc) or she would not write it in her book or she would check it after her teacher signed it and told me the check meant it was done (lying).  This was not just Math, it was everything.  The teacher and I decided to play hard ball.  If she did not complete homework, she got a 0 and no second chances.  She cares about her grades so we knew it would impact her.  Her grades went from As to Cs and Ds.  That did not deter her much.  So I took away all her techno gadgets and turned the breaker off for the TV while I was at work (great tactic by the way).  If her homework was not done by the time I got home she sat in the kitchen while I made dinner and she did homework.   Homework never got done before I came home and she found things to entertain her like play with our pets and draw.  The sitting at the kitchen table for 3 hours - that was gruelling for me as well as her I think.  If I came home early it was even longer.   After about a month we gave her an incintive that if she got her homework done before I got home from work she could spend 15 minutes with her favorite teacher.  Well, between the incintive and the many nights of not watching TV and staring at me making dinner, cleaning,etc.  she did a 180 and started doing her homework.  I have no idea what made her turn the corner.  I also did not yell, did not make ultamatims and played calm like it was just another day at the office, which was the hardest thing for this hot tempered person to do. 
   
  So I have her under control with her homework and lying now (her teacher beams about how trusting she is and she will now fess up 99% of the time..positive reinforcement worked for her, NOT my son).  I do worry about 6th grade when she goes to middle school.
   
  I hope your route goes well and be sure to let us know.  And if that fails see if what I did would work.  There is also a book called "Transforming the Difficult Child" which I have done some approaches to and they work very well.  It is awkward at first though because you abandon a lot of things we normally do (punishment for doing wrong, pointing out what they did wrong, etc) and I did not buy into it at first.  But when it worked I was not only shocked, I could have kicked myself in the rear for not trying a different approach.
  Good luck to you.
   

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