• tbs230 said on Feb 22, 2007....

  Smack the living daylights out of him...well, at least that would be what I'd want to do.
  
  Punishment...hmm, find the thing he loves to do the most, and take it away from him...for as long as you feel like it. Tell him, when you get a better report of his conduct regarding homework from his teacher, then you will consider giving him back this privilege, because it is a privilege. You trusted him enough to sign his agenda without questioning whether the work was done or not, and he showed you that trust was misplaced. Now he has to earn it back. Children only do things because of some misguided belief that they can get away with it. Nip that in the bud.
  
  I remember my mother being frustrated with me when it came to punishments, nothing ever struck a cord with me. Then one day she realized that when I couldn't do something, like watch tv, I just read. In fact, I read more than I did anything when I was little. So one day, she took away my books. Can you believe that? I cried everyday. That was the last time the woman ever had to tell me anything twice. I was terrified she would start doing it as regular punishment...I still get laughed at about this by my cousins...they just don't understand!
  
  P.S. Tell him if he ever does that again, it's ALL gone. TV, video games, outings...all of it, gone for 2 months. See how he likes them apples!
  

• silverwhisper said on Feb 22, 2007....

  obviously, the deception is the real problem here. i'm not a parent, but it's obvious that when he starts lying to you, that's gotta be stopped.
  
  what methods do you currently use to discipline? you don't strike me as a corporeal punishment sorta parent. removal of privileges?
  
  i don't know if you can motivate him to do his homework w/out knowing whether he's simply being lazy, is having trouble w/ the assigned homework or something else. do you know why he isn't doing it? i would think that it would be hard to try to address this w/out knowing that.
  
  ed

• purrrkitten said on Feb 22, 2007....

  TBS, the problem with trying to take books away is that part of nightly homework is reading. Our schools have a "Just Read" program to encourage kids to learn by reading. Not to mention, he has a whole (full!) bookshelf in his room. It is half of my books and half kids books. I have so many books that I have no more room to put them until our new rooms are built!

  silver, I have used corporeal punishment in the past and as a final necessity when I have to. The boys are getting far too old for me to be spanking them tho! It's usually only used as a threat to get them to behave. I have taken away toys and they don't spend much time on the computer and we don't have video games. Perhaps, this time, we will empty his room of all toys (which will suck for him this weekend!) and see how that goes.

  Problem: They'll soon be over at dad's house where they pretty much have free reign. Dad's too busy paying attention to his new girlfriend to bother with them.

  This happens every month like clockwork. A week before dad comes home, they both start misbehaving in school - not paying attention, not doing their work, disobeying at home, etc. Then it's the same for a few days after they come back from his house again. It's driving us crazy but I don't know what to do about it...

• silverwhisper said on Feb 22, 2007....

  god, i'd forgotten that there's this war going on about discipline with their father. i know you've tried talking w/ him about that. i assume that he's still no help, huh?
  
  sorry, purr: i'm out of my depth here.
  
  ed

• secretlife said on Feb 22, 2007....

  It gets tricky in middle school, and I have this fear with my son...

  Here, you can request that the 'team' teachers call you every week and let you know if assignments were missed.  The hardest part is coming up with a good punishment.  In those years it has to be taking away privileges....i take away my son's games for a week, sometimes for 2 weeks at a time...

  i'm also trying a reward thing this marking period with him.  If he gets B's or better in every subject, he gets to do a robotics summer class.  This hasn't worked well in the past though.  He needed more immediate response.

  We shall see if a year has made a difference.

  I feel your pain.

   

• purrrkitten said on Feb 22, 2007....

  Thanks for your input anyways, silver.

  secret, I've tried bribing too and ... ! I just don't know if this doesn't work...

  See my plan in the next blog...

  Oh, and everyone, please keep the ideas coming. I'm pretty sure that I'll need them eventually... :-)

• mom said on Feb 23, 2007....

  I have had this problem with all my kids at one point or another. Sometimes it has been out of laziness and sometimes it has been because the work was too easy or too hard.  Is there a reason he doesn't do his homework?  Have you tried to sit down with him and do it with him? 

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