I would like to personaly thank everyone who has read my story about what happened to my husband on that dark day. I find myself questioning religion. I was raised as a Jehova's Witness and stopped studying when my mom stopped and started question my purpose in life as I studied various religions and going through the loss of my husband makes me want to believe that religion doesn't really mean anything. So many controversies about life after death altho I do cross my fingers in hope that theres a chance I might see him again. I also feel guilt that I didn't get to enjoy him as long as I wanted to and that I could of been a better wife. I admit that I took it for him for granted thinking we would spend the rest of our lives together. He was a great provider he was just starting out as an instrumentation engineer and he had been working in his field at the same company for almost a year and a half and hes gotten great performance reviews and many raises. He had just gotten another raise and we were just getting our finances in order and we just had so many dreams like buying our first house having another baby. Just the way he left this earth and the pain he must of been in while drowning. His whole life was a struggle he came from a big family for 4 brothers and one sister and they all moved to Canada from south america to have a chance at a better life. Times were though back in south america sometimes he never knew what his next meal was going to be. When he moved to Canada they all struggled to learn english and finish school and make something of them selves. He started down the wrong path of gambling his paychecks away before I met him and with the love of his family they got him out of that. When he and I met I tought him about managing money to be able to pay rent and pay off his debts. He was working fulltime and I was working fulltime just to make ends meet so he struggled financialy and he had stresses at work. Everything we ever did was for the love of our son. We gave him the best that we never had growing up. Name brand clothing and name brand toys we had spoiled our son together. He died exactly a month before our sons second birthday. My son watched his dad die along with me but because of his age I told him that hes sleeping. Everytime I look at my son I just bring myself to tears because he had a good dad. There are so many guys out there that dont give a crap about their kids but some how these guys are still living and my husbands not. It just breaks my heart. His dad wont be there for his first day of school or his high school grad or wedding and even if I do get remarried theres no way the step dad will love him as much as if he were his own kid. I have been trying to move on as best as I know how. I started smoking in september and I went to school to up grade my skills and finaly landed myself a job within my career. my life just feels so empty with him at my side seeing my accomplishment.