it's hard to be a full-time mom. i tried to be one but gave up early. of course, i felt bad and sorry for not being there to my son 24/7. he may not understand the reason behind this setup but i'm sure in due time, he'll learn to forgive me.

though i'm away cause of work, i see to it that i spend quality time with my baby. yup i know he won't be able to appreciate it now. but at least, i am a mother to him even for a couple of hours a day. and it makes me feel a little less guilty every time.

yes, i failed to see his smile when he's playing in his crib and his cries at night when he can't sleep. i want to be a perfect mom but i have duties as a mother other than staying at home and raising a child.

for this reason, i really need to go back to work after consuming my maternity leave benefits. we're running out of cash and i have a son to support. i need to consider our expenses and it's no joke to raise a family.

i'm not explaining these things for you to hear my side and understand me. i'm just venting off my emotions because it would make me cry in a sec knowing that i miss my baby seth.

and it's killing me...