I used to be on TV. For many years people would tune in and interact with me on television. It was subscription TV, NO not porn, so hundreds of thousands of people a day would see me on TV and I would teach them all kinds of things. These people were teachers, students, parents, legislators, etc...and I'd come in on their TVs, big screens and sometimes movie screens and help them learn. It was, by far, the most rewarding job I'd ever had. I looked forward to it everyday. And I worked VERY hard to get that job.
Credentials:
Cum Laude college graduate with 2 bachelors degrees in 4 years
High School English Teacher
Several years experience hosting a television show on the East coast
Local DeeJay at a club
Etc...
What I'm trying to say here is that I was NOT some girl off the street who came to this job with no education, no experience, no ability to talk, no ability to work in front of the camera (which is not as easy as you might think). I had worked very hard to attain my goals and build a resume that I was proud of. It took 2 months of interviewing, screen tests, more interviewing and more screen tests, and THEN I got the job. I had to WORK for it very hard. Did I get the job because I'm pretty? NO. If that was why I got the job, or SOLELY why I got it, they'd have hired me much sooner than the 2 months it took for me to get the job.
I worked there for over 3 years and it was wonderful, fulfilling and more than I ever hoped it would be. I was actually making a difference in kids lives, and their teacher's and parent's lives. It felt good. It made all that college debt and hard work worth it. But then the company got bought out and as often happens, it was bought and closed. Ugh, corporate America.
When the company was shut down, our bosses sent us to a 3 day seminar to help us rebuild our resumes and search for new jobs. We were put into teams of 10 for those 3 days, sent to a local resort, and worked with a career specialist whose job it was to encourage us, help us and set us on a course toward success.
On day one of this seminar, sitting with 9 other people, most of whom I knew pretty well, our male seminar leader went around the room and asked us what role we had at the company, you know, just trying to get some background on all of us and break the ice. Those of you who have lead orientation meetings know that building rapport from the beginning is very important. I was about the 6th person in line for the, "What's your name, how long with the company, what did you do there?" line of questioning. Everyone who had gone before me gets some version of this speech: "Well, that's a set of very marketable skills, we shouldn't have any problem getting your resume in order and getting some interviews lined up for you."
Then he gets to me.
And this is what I get, before I even finish talking: "Ooooooooooh...I SEE! You're the company barbie doll. That's why they hired you and put you on camera. I don't know that I can help you find a job when your resume will read, "Company Barbie".
For just one moment, imagine how I felt. There was no smile on his face, no laugh in his voice, not even any sarcasm in his tone. Here was a guy that saw NOTHING buy my face, my boobs and my ass. All this guy saw was that I was pretty, so he not only assumed to himself that I got my job because I looked good on camera and for no other reason, but he assumed it out loud, infront of 9 other people, some of whom were my direct reports.
This is what I face, all the time, every day, every job. This is why I asked, in my original posting, to please not judge me and say "boo hoo pretty girl" and to have an open mind. To be constantly devalued is oppressive. And it makes it very hard, and I fight hard and I think have somewhat succeeded, not to just have everything taste just a little bit sour.
NotTheOfficeWhore posted on Feb 19, 2007
| views: 758
Comments
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curmudgeon said on Feb 20, 2007....
Quite frankly, this guy was telling you the truth - he was singularly unqualified to help you with your career because he couldn't retain his professional demeanor in your presence.Moreover, that he would say such a thing in front of other people speaks volumes about his own insecurity. He owns that situation and yet he has to put you down for some reason.I don't know what it is about beautiful women that turns men into such idiots. -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 20, 2007....
You know what Curmudgeon? You just gave me a perspective I hadn't had before, and for that I thank you! HE'S the one with the problem, not me. He's the idiot, he's the one with the limited view. I need to remember that when people behave like morons. Thanks so much! -
minniemouse said on Feb 25, 2007....
OMG! This was a "professional" seminar you attended? Wow. It always amazes me the stupidity of some people and what they believe is acceptable to do to another human being. I agree with Curmudgeon, he obviously felt intimidated by you and felt he needed to "put you in your place" by trying to tear you down. I have enjoyed reading your posts and you are obviously a confident intelligent woman and most (not all) men are intimidated by that and we all know what happens then....they revert to cave men and feel they have to assert their "power" over women by being male chauvenist pigs and try to tear us down. Sad, sad little boys!!! -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 25, 2007....
Hi Miinniemouse! I'll tell ya, I like the way you think! I too am often amazed by what people think is okay and acceptable behavior towards another. When I told this experience to my mom, and other stories of the like, she said, "Is there no professionalism left in the world?, and I had to really ponder that question. It's as though we are all 3rd graders at recess, which can be okay until the name-calling begins.
Thanks for the support and the lovely things you said. I do hope that there are some men left out there that aren't intimidated by strong, confident women. I had a male friend of mine tell me last week that I'm the "most un-approachable" woman he's ever known. When I asked him why he said it was first because of my looks ("blah blah blah cowards" is what I was thinking when he said that), but he said almost equal to that was because I have very direct eye contact and that most men are used to girls that are less confident, look down all the time, and fidget; and since I do almost none of that, men find me intimidating.
My response to him was, "Good Lord, the whole world's gone mad!" So minniemouse, I believe you are spot on when you say, "Sad, sad little boys." You've captured it beautifully!!!! -
minniemouse said on Feb 25, 2007....
Same here NTOW, I have been told by men "wow, you have a very strong handshake" and I can definitely tell their demeanor changes after that. WTF? (pardon my french I tend to have a sailors mouth) I mean, how the hell are you supposed to shake someones hand. Nothing pisses me off more than an man (or woman for that matter) extending their hand then squeezing my fingers!!! UGH! -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 25, 2007....
I hear the exact same thing minniemouse!!!! And I always say, "My dad taught me how to shake a hand! No wimpy shaker am I." That usually shuts them up. :)
Oh, I too have the mouth of a trucker, so NO worries, TRUST ME!!!
I figure this: I'm going to stay a strong, confident, good-hand-shakin' mama, and to hell with what anyone thinks about it! That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!! :) -
minniemouse said on Feb 25, 2007....
I like that story! And I like your line about your dad taught you how to shake a hand, I'm going to borrow that one from ya if ya don't mind! "Back in your face suckas!!! " LOL! -
D6fer said on Mar 28, 2007....
don't all barbies end up with an arm missing and their hair damn near shaved off? ;p -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Mar 29, 2007....
Okay, now I'm scared...ummm...forget my name...it's not Sunny...it's ahh...Jane, no Sarah...no Barb...no....uhhhh...Tim. I'm a guy. Yep, that's it. I'm a big brawny guy!!! -
D6fer said on Mar 29, 2007....
he he he
Comment on "I'm more than a friggin' Barbie Doll!"
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