Let's face it, 99% of the world would spit out at you that beauty is only skin deep, true beauty lies beneath, it's what's on the inside that counts, blah, blah, blah... And while I could not agree more, my innards are not what you see as I walk down the hall at work, or at the grocery store, or while trolling for light bulbs at Wal-mart.
Appearances are how we judge, at least initially, everyone we meet. And those of you who say that I'm lying are deluding yourself. I'm not saying that you like or dislike people based on whether or not they are good looking. What I am saying is that we make judgments about a person by analyzing their face, their body, their attire, the way they walk, all those outward things that have absolutely nothing to do with inner beauty. And it's not our fault. It's programmed into us that people who are healthy and good looking are those to whom we SHOULD be drawn. I once read an article in some doctor's office that addressed beauty from a world-wide perspective, identifying what traits are revered in locales all around the globe, and while some places like big hips, others small, some like huge earlobes, others prefer what we in America would deem normal sized, one thing that was universal was that people with bad skin on their faces were considered on the bottom rung of societies ladder of looks.
Does that mean that there is some gene inside of all humans that forces us to seek out beauty? I don't know, for a scientist nor anthropologist nor sociologist am I, but I do know that we can spit cliches until our faces turn blue about beauty lying beneath the surface, but when push comes to shove if we have the choice of choosing between Mr. Strong Jaw, 6'3", broad-shouldered, hunk of man, and Mr. No Chin, well fellas, we'll generally, upon first glance at least, pick Mr. Strong Jaw.
Lots of us have learned through the years the truth of what my mom told me when I was just a wee lass, "Marry an ugly man Sweetie, they won't break your heart." I've always assumed she meant that they would work hard to keep me because I'm pretty. Okay, NOW you hate me. "Vain bitch." Much like the ruination of what's-her-name that did those old Pantene commercials where she brazenly begged us to not hate her because she's beautiful, I do believe I've just alienated my audience. No more work for you Honey and maybe no more readers for me. People don't like pretty girls who know they are pretty and, worse yet, say it out loud. But when you hear it and hear it and hear it and hear it and hear it, well, you get my point. I've accepted it, even though I was taught humility, and I don't wear my looks like a crown, I can say, "Yes, I'm pretty." Not aloud mind you to a real person, because that is disgusting. But for the sake of this discussion, I know I am, and we'll leave it at that.
Now that we've established that people like looking at pretty girls, I want to bitch about it. And you know what, if you are sitting there thinking, "Oh boo hoo...you poor pretty thing, life is just so rough for you, go cry on someone else's shoulder" then maybe you should open up your mind just a tad and actually listen to what I have to say. While you have your own plight, I too have mine. And while I do get served faster at the local watering hole, there are drawbacks. Just look at my user name and you might be able to infer what one of those might be.
I am NOT, in fact, the office whore. Believe it or not, it's true. Though were you to poll the catty bitches that I work with I'm sure they'd have another story to tell you entirely. And just to set the story straight from the get-go, in all my years having a job, and I started working at 12 by forging my work permit, I have never dated, kissed, or had any other type of sex-type-thing with anyone that I've ever worked with. So know that I am coming from a place where whatever fantasies these women have, they are indeed their own deluded fantasies, born of the jealousy and insecurity that unfortunately for both of us throws a parade inside their heads each day when they awake.
Imagine for one moment, if you are not one of the "lucky few" who happen to be the prettiest girl in the room in most rooms you walk into, that when you start a new job, or walk into a party or walk into almost any environment, that unless you are meeting women who are secure and content with their own lives, that you have immediately come upon a population where half of the people there view you as the enemy. Just imagine...really try to imagine what that is like. Seriously, take a moment, stop reading and think back to your last first day on the job. What would it be like to know that half the people you meet immediately view you as a threat and therefore don't like you, even though they've never spoken a word to you? If you think I'm exaggerating, I am not. How many women do you really know who are secure and comfortable in their own skin? Probably not many. Those are really the only ones who give me a chance. That fact alone has always greatly reduced my chance of success in any environment where other women exist. And I think, well...I think that sucks.
Oh, and it gets even more fun for girls like me when the boss wants to bed you. And it happens every time. I'll get into it more later, but in addition to being the girl that most other women hate, to your boss you become either the whore they fucked or the whore who wouldn't fuck them. While I've yet to fall into the first category, I'd say that's a lose/lose proposition for any person, wouldn't you?
NotTheOfficeWhore posted on Feb 18, 2007
| views: 2026
Comments
-
Lucytorial said on Feb 18, 2007....
There's a lot of stuff to get through here.. okay so firstly
- I can agree that people will always judge beauty on first appearence it is simply our natural state to look for particular regularities in features most of them are and scientifically this is so. To have a face that is compeltely simetrical! this is beauty by science.
- I am also pretty - has it effected my life yes good and bad... it scares women off from being my friend, yes I get hit on alot even by bosses, do I get upset no... not unless someone touches me when I have not invited them too then I go to the police, do I feel hard done by ... NO do I enjoy my beauty YES why shouldn't I.
- I don't think it's fair to say and once again I have to say this here - everyone is not the same, we do not behave the same, think the same, we do not assume the same things so my advice on this score would be that if you adjusted your attitude you may not get the responses you do.. a bitch maybe and you have every right to be one if you wish but dont use excuses like the oens above to do - feel free to be a bitch because you're good at it (my motto)
- I don't need to wonder at what it's like because even though I am that pretty girl I don't place that much emphasis on it - fuck man whos insecure here? them or you or both! (Both really)
- If you don't like the way people treat you then fucking say something... really so many girls don't and the point is that "yes thank you for the compliment of your stare if you're finished looking at my tits maybe we can get to work? right?" look it kicks people up the ass and lets them know that although you are pretty and may have a sharp tongue you don't care what they think and you are worth getting to know as a person because you ARE OPEN???
- People don't like anyone who winges about silly shit like this... really it's not because you might be pretty and frankly most of us here can't see you don't care what you look like because at the end of the day it's about how you communicate here.
Finally everyone has a right to winge and whine and I do it quite a lot, but honey... at some point you're gonna have to get over it and maybe have kids and get fat! that'll work if nothign else does??? If you don't want to get fat then get some....fat!
-
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 19, 2007....
Oh my, it looks as though I've hit a chord with one of my readers! This is where the whole "open mind" request came from in my initial blog.
I'm not sure that what I penned can be summed up as me giving an excuse for being a bitch, especially since I do not believe myself to be one. As a matter of fact, I do not believe I was making excuses for anything.
And while I can appreciate your advice of suggesting to others that if they are done looking at my "tits" we can get on with work, I might suggest to you that this does not really fly in a corporate environment. When I worked at Pizza Hut at age 16, sure, that might have been more along the lines of what I might have said, though delicacy is often a nice touch to use with others, but in most corporate work places, that kind of talk gets you nothing but trouble. Though I'm not familiar with your experiences, I can tell you that in my own, pointing out to a boss or coworker that their appreciation of my bodyparts is unwelcome usually causing more issues than it solves. If it's a coworker, they become embarassed that you've said something and from that point on the relationship is strained and often leads to more and varied problems in the office, including sabotage. If it's a boss, well, the implications of how they can affect your life are pretty obvious. So, please, before you crucify me for not telling people to fuck off, think about the ramifications of doing so in a enviroment that has a culture beyond that of Macy's or Subway.
As for your suggestion that I'm insecure, sure. Aren't we all in some ways insecure? Especially the "pretty girl." For all we have to go on, all we have to offer, from what we've been told our entire lives, is our face and/or body. So, when those fade, as they most certainly will, what on God's green earth will be left? Insecure, certainly. Mean to others because of my insecurities, most definitely not. And that is where the difference lies. My insecurites affect me, not the girl in the office next to mine, not my subordinate, not my boss, not the other girls at the party. And that is why it bothers me so when I am judged as a whore, a barbie, an airhead, a person who is less-than, just because I'm pretty. For when the wrinkles come, the hips widen, the breasts need a crane to help them up, what will be left? Insecure, yes. Do I punish others because of it, as they seem to do me? No.
Oh, and as an alternative to being pretty, I'm going to choose NOT to ruin my health and become fat. One of these days I hope to see all those wrinkles, wide hips and 38 Long boobs. Maybe then women will be kind to me and my boss will leave my ass alone. Oh, and people like you won't judge me and be unkind when there is no reason for being so. -
Lucytorial said on Feb 19, 2007....
I wasn't judging you, and I didn't call you a bitch (it was suppose to be a humerous comment) I think it does work in a corporate environment when you say it in the right way... in a corporate environment and I've ben in a few there are protocols and support systems in place.
Once again my attempt at humour went wrong - don't get fat! of course I'm not saying that - jeeze I will apologise for coming across the wrong way but aren't you just a little heacy about it? seriousness and you know what your insecurities do effect people around you, work collegues, the girl in the office next door - sometimes it can send out a echo of someone who isn't really you... the true you because you are underneath quite up set about this whole issue so it goes without saying that it effects people around you.
I honestly didn't intend to try and undermine you or hurt
-
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 19, 2007....
Thanks Lucytorial...I appreciate the clarification. :)
You know, you are quite right when you say that underneath I'm upset. It's upsetting and infuriating to be valued at face value, pun intended. I guess my sensitivity comes from the fact that sometimes you just hit a wall, as I've recently done. I'm in a situation where, for the nth time, my boss is chasing my ass all over the building, though I've told him numerous times to back the fuck off, and he simply won't listen. Unfortunately, the situation is so complicated that a trip to HR is impossible, so I'm stuck. And to add insult to injury, the women at the office that didn't like me to begin with notice how he looks at me and automatically assume it's because I'm bent over his desk after work.
I'm in my 30s now and am yet again exhausted by the game of it all. After my last rebuff of my boss, he's now become, just to say it bluntly, a dick. So, now he's making me pay the price for not sleeping with him, and the women at work are making me pay the price for assuming that I am. All this, for the millionth time, because of how I look.
While you don't know me, what I can tell you is that I'm a good girl and that I don't use my looks to get ahead at work. And while I don't dress like a nun, I also don't dress like a tramp. So, it just gets exhausting to always be painted with the, "Oh, look at her! Who does she think she is? Slut!" brush. To be disliked by women, chased by men, and never thought of as more than a piece of ass, well, it gets tiring.
Luckily, I know I'm more than that, and my job is such that if I didn't do a good job they'd get rid of me in a heartbeat, so I know that I'm more than a face and ass, but nonetheless, I'm tired...just tired. I guess that's why I started the blog. Hoping against hope that someone might read it and glean something from it. Something that lets them know that the pretty girl has more to offer than nice tits and a pretty face. That she's more than the sum of her parts. She has a brain, in most cases, and would LOVE to hear how good a job she did on that last project instead of how good she looks in that dress.
Thanks again though Lucy for taking the time to come back and clarify. I really appreciate it. :) -
Lucytorial said on Feb 19, 2007....
No problem, you've got me subscribed so at least you will definately have an ear..
I understand the situation though the only thing I can ask really is: is there a chance of moving? you know transfer or new job? is it worth staying in an environment where it uses your energy up to stay calm and collected by this rude cock sucker! (hope thats okay to say)
I have just resigned from a job with a boss with similar qualities although this time it's a small buisness not corporate so you have to really fend for yourself in small business.
One other suggestions NTOH check out some of my posts, check out other posts there are plenty of us here that get fucking fed up with the idiots we have to deal with and you may just find an opportunity to focus on something a little brighter and more you... conect with people... see you around I hope???
-
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 19, 2007....
Luc, I like your ear...and I'm glad it's here with me.
Feel free to use your voice however you see fit when posting here, I have the mouth of a trucker, so nothing you say will ever bother me. I'm so glad to hear you resigned from your job and got the hell out. Smart girl! Sometimes escape is our only option and while I'm sorry you had to exorcise that option, at least you are free of a grab-ass boss.
I actually am in the process of looking into another job, the particular one I have my eye on would allow me the freedom of working from a home office when not on the road. I figure that would help reduce the annoyances of office politics right off the bat!
Thanks for the encouragement to look for brighter things. Whilst it may seem as though, in this particular blog, that I'm on a negative spiral, I'm blessed with a very happy soul. I just got exhausted at the thought of facing it all again tomorrow at the office and had to spit it out on paper or I was going to lose my mind.
Oh, something you and anyone who reads my posts should probably know, I'm a Gemini, and while I don't put much stock into such things, I do have a bit of a dual personality, so my posts may seem to come from several different trains of thought. Life is just a bit in the air right now, and as a result, my experiences and my relationship with those experiences inspires me to write from many different moods and points of view. Hopefully, I won't annoy the hell out of everyone!!! Trust me, that is not my goal! ;)
Glad to see you came back and visited again. I'll make sure to check out your stuff too. -
curmudgeon said on Feb 19, 2007....
I work in an office of mostly male consultants and one of the admins is a very attractive young woman. It's a tiny office, so there isn't the cattiness or gossip. But she has complained of being taken as a barbie doll - especially by these 50-something guys.I'm not judging her, but I have seen that she does use her looks a bit. She flirts on the phone with one of the senior managers, she wears outfits that reveal and play up her figure, etc. Do I regard her as a whore? No. She seems like a genuinely nice person.I would say that while looking at her, say, on the subway or in a restaurant or bar would normally brighten up my day, it's a bit awkward in an office. I'm a visually-oriented straight guy, so it's not an easy thing to not look, to not take a bit of pleasure in looking, and to not ask the question what if, if just for a moment. But I don't want to make things awkward, or for her to feel unconfortable in any way, or to be taken as just another horny older guy, so I do my best to not indulge in this sort of mental masturbation.I feel bad that so many grown professional men are not this self-aware and do not take their positions of responsibility seriously. It speaks to a general lack of self-discipline in our society.I know you don't intend to compromise your looks and I am certainly glad of that! Beauty is a gift for both the holder and beholder! Try to enjoy the external while it lasts but nurture the internal that is everlasting! It seems you're already well on the way! -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 19, 2007....
Hi again Curmudgeon!
I so appreciate your words here and want to add to my initial thoughts when I started this blog because of them.
As the pretty girl in the office, and please don't think me some horrible vain bitch for saying that, because I truly am not, I'm just trying to get down to brass tacks here, I don't mind it if someone says I'm pretty, or if guys' eyes linger a moment longer. I really don't mind that at all, sincerely, I don't. I think it's human and normal to look at pretty things. I look at handsome men, fine looking cars, and plenty of other things that are aesthetically beautiful and I think we should all feel okay when we do so.
Where I have a problem is when people prejudge someone based on their looks; assuming that someone is dumb, or a tramp, or has gotten where they are in life because of their looks. That is what is so difficult, especially for someone like me that has worked her entire life for her degrees (STILL paying off the college loans), and her position in the corporate world. It's so insulting when people think, and sometimes even say outloud, that I have what I do because I'm pretty. It makes me wonder if they were raised by wolves? Who has so few manners?
And in a tiny defense of the pretty girl at your office, who I don't know so I may be completely off the mark here, the pretty girl has been told so many times that her value lies in her face and body that she begins to believe that. She really, in her heart believes that she IS her appearance to those around her. She probably doesn't leave the house without makeup and looking pretty darn good, for where does her value lie if not in her appearance?
As a result, what we learn is that since we are judged on our looks and compartmentalized based on them, that the easiest way to get things done is to stay inside that compartment and pretend that it's our own comfortable home. People like to think that you actually ARE who they THINK you are. When you behave in a manner inconsistent with that, life becomes difficult. So, to make life easier, it's often the path most travelled that's the one the pretty girl takes. Give in, be a flirt, dress the part, and make the day at the office easier. Give people what they assume is the truth and the day runs more smoothly--well, it does so for the pretty girl in an office of mostly men. Throw other women in the mix and it's like putting 10 cats in a bag and chucking them into a lake.
Maybe all this will give you a different perspective when you look at her. Or maybe she is a bit too flirty and I'm completely off the mark. I would say that a good idea is to look just a moment too long at her face after watching her interact with other men, AFTER the other men leave, to see what her expression changes to when they walk away. That is often a good indication of how she truly feels about having to be the fun, flirty, pretty girl of the office. But if she's anything like me, she's done it so damn long that she's perfected it and doesn't let THAT face show until she walks through the door of her home.
Thanks again for your posting. It has spurred me on to add another post that directly relates to the topic at hand, but specifically to your barbiedoll comment. Have a great day Curmudgeon! -
Rockerchic said on Feb 19, 2007....
Since I can remember, I have been treated as an object. My looks have always been an issue for me. It didn't matter if I had put on weight or been stick thin, I would still get the attention from people because of my looks. I have had very good things and very bad things happen to me because of my looks. True, I may have been served first at the lunch counter, but it never makes up for being cornered by someone who thinks they can do what they please!
When you talk about being judged as you walk into a room and already half the people there hate you because you are attractive, it hits home. I can see it the women's eyes. The disdain and immediate lack of trust from these women makes me uncomfortable. As a result, I have very few female friends. And, the men who immediately judge you for being easy. And, lately, it has been women too.
After years of being programmed by the reactions of others, I find myself searching for who I really am. Most of it is written in my blogs.
Thanks for the post!
-
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 19, 2007....
Rockerchic, Bless You!!!! I feel like you really get what I'm saying, and it feels sooooooooooooo good to be understood. I think that's why I started my blog too...I've been searching lately and I need to put it on paper, I need to articulate my thoughts in order to really make them concrete and be unable to run from them.
Thank you for understanding, and for taking the time to let me know that you do. I'm sorry that you too have had to go through it. It's rough feeling like the enemy to those who don't know you, just because you are pretty and they are insecure.
I hope that we both, somehow, find a happy place and are eventually surrounded by people that appreciate us for more than our outside has to offer, and that we don't have to wait until we are 80 for that to happen. Big hug to you Rockerchic, you are a girl after my own heart! -
minniemouse said on Feb 25, 2007....
me again...I like reading your posts it gives me a different perspective on things. I have been considered the "pretty" girl too only funny thing, I didn't realize it until recently. I was kind of awkward when I was younger and didn't really "come into my own" until my 20's. I didn't have much confidence in my looks and made some choices that I now regret (marrying young being one of them...{big head slap}) I have been making some major changes in my life recently and made some realizations of why its been hard to befriend women in any jobs I have had....thought it was all me. I always got along better with the men. Now I think I know why.....all I have to say now is "duh"...lol. I feel for you and the situations you are in.....I would be your friend if we worked together! Screw 'em all! lol -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Feb 25, 2007....
I like hearing from you minniemouse! I'm also pleased that you are enjoying all my ranting and raving! I hope with all my heart that the changes you are making in your life are bringing you joy. Big, and even small, changes can be so very hard to make, but making them can be the difference between being content and at peace, or always searching for something just beyond our grasp. May your changes bring you many smiles and happiness down in the pit of your belly.
Isn't it great when you have that "duh" moment? When you realize it isn't YOU that's the problem? Sorry that you've had the same issues with women at the office that I've had. It truly blows. I too have always had more male friends than women, and the women friends I do have I cherish above everything because it's such a rare occurance.
Thank you for saying you'd be my friend! I KNOW I'd take you up on that in a heartbeat!!!! And Hell yes, "Screw 'em all!!!" That may have to me my new personal mantra!!!! -
HairSprayGirl said on Mar 09, 2007....
Ok, I wrote a nice little comment. And I went to submit it and my damn computer froze! So, to sum it all up, I agree with you ! Attractive women get the shit end of the stick from the moment they walk into a room. I do it, I admit. When I'm someplace either with my man or not,and a pretty girl walks in, I get jealous,I don't like her,and I pass judgment on her. But, I think it's normal. As you said in another post. That's what we do as humans. We judge people on their appearance. And another normal trait I have is insecurity. We all possess a degree of this,just some more than others. And might I add that I'm not too shabby myself. I'm attractive. And Lucy was right,it doesn't matter here,we're here for communication anyways. But regardless, I'm human. All women do it. It's normal. But,whether your a bitch or not is determined by how you treat this woman after you've made your assessment. Are you nice and friendly? Do you smile at her? Or do you wage world war 3 on her?! :-)
I like your style though, I'm subscribing! -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Mar 09, 2007....
Hey again HSG! I love how honest you are!!! You are soooo my type of girl!!!! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really value what you have to say Sweetie. :) Sunny. -
HairSprayGirl said on Mar 09, 2007....
Honesty is the best policy,right?! haha... I've never actually applied this to my life until just recently. Thank you for acknowledging it. That really means a lot. I'm so glad I found you! -
D6fer said on Mar 28, 2007....
Sunny....I can relate totally.....he he he ;p -
NotTheOfficeWhore said on Mar 29, 2007....
So, is our Deep6Fucker a hot piece of ass? Is that what you are sayin'? Hee hee hee....:) -
D6fer said on Mar 29, 2007....
well....I know I'm too pretty for prison! ;p -
D6fer said on Mar 29, 2007....
I.M. me and find out! ;) -
anonymous said on Nov 30, 2007....
Its not just woman that suffer,Handsome men get shit on also,sometimes ppl forget tht......
Comment on "Is being beautiful all it's cracked up to be?"
Related Posts:
truthsayer
posted 4 days ago
| views: 112
|
My friend, fearing got married yesterday. I wish I could have been there. It brought me great joy that she had invited me. I wouldn't sully her special day with my sadness, but...I wish I could have been there. I asked the Lord to make my friendship ... read entire post
wombat
posted 4 days ago
| views: 83
|
Aching for the beauty of the worldSuch a sad longing
Aching for the beauty of life
Such a sad longing
Fear of life, fear of death
And always and yet
There is the joy inside
of a sun not yet set
read entire post
fibilove
posted on Nov 09, 2008
| views: 28
|
My resume is growing quickly and my images speak for my positive attitude and strong work ethic. Everyone says I’m going far! I look forward to "pushing the envelope" and creating images for everyone to enjoy.http://www.flickr.com/people/lovefibi/... read entire post
victwells
posted on Nov 19, 2008
| views: 10
|
skincare,natural skincare,facials,sleep,beauty,younger look,... read entire post
victwells
posted on Nov 19, 2008
| views: 9
|
skincare,natural skincare,facials,sleep,beauty,younger look,... read entire post