botoni's tags:
If you re Pinoy you ve recognized the meaning of my name.  Its what he called me when he was angry with me.  He used it as a password to express his feelings toward me.  He joined it of course with my first name.  So in his eyes I am 'The prick ****'.  Ha!  Now that I ve removed him from my life I feel so much happier and wholesome once more.  I hope his wife realizes how badly he treats her with his many male lovers, how he lies to her and to his family in his effort to conceal who he really is. 
 
There was a time I felt sorry for him.  Sorry because he was so fearful of what his life would be if he were only honest about himself and with himself.  Instead he chooses to hide and in doing he hurts many people along the way.  He talks of love, falls in love, lets guys believe they are his one true love and all the while he is cultivating two or three romances on the side.  He lost the right to my pity.


del.icio.us Digg reddit StumbleUpon

Comments

  • bhee1106 said on Feb 20, 2007....
    i didnt quite get what your name is.. maybe im still young to figure that one out,
    im really fascinated with people like you, not afraid to admit who they really are,,
    and just like what you've said for me, i wish you to find someone to heal my hear..
  • yani said on Feb 28, 2007....
    good for you! that you finally got rid of him.
     
    those kind of men deserve to be skinned alive!
     
    sorry for being emotional, i just don't like manlolokos.
     
    Welcome to SC! i am reading you :)
  • botoni said on Feb 28, 2007....
    yani.....thanks so much for the reply!....Want an update?....He is bringing his wife and child to the United States where he has moved since being with me.  He is in a relationship with another man there.  I felt guilty about how I treated his wife (and how he did too.)  In my defense.....I didnt know about the wife until we were well into the relationship....I know still no excuse to continue.  Partly to assauge my own guilt but also partly to punish him I told his wife about what kind of scoundrel he really is.  Told her about the mltiple relationships he has had and about the men he has led to believe he is their only lover. 
    She was incredulous.  She told him I d ratted on him.  He lied his way out of it.  His intent is to bring her to the USA and divorce her when she is here.  All this so he can retain access to his child.  I feel so terribly sorry for her.  I know it s a way for her to come overseas but at what a terrible cost.  She is an educated woman (a teacher) but her degree will be useless to her in North America...its not a transferable occupation.  What will she do?  How will she support herself?  How will she manage on the income the courts will order for her.  He is a nurse and makes superb wages but the courts wont give her enough to suport herself.  My God I hate what he did to me and what he is doing to her!
    Oh....my tagalog is limited.....please give me a translation for the word 'manlolokos'.....thanks for reading me and thanks for listening to me rant.
     
  • yani said on Feb 28, 2007....
    Hey Botoni rant all you want :)
     
    It's not your fault that his wife chose to believe him, there are really women who thinks with their heart ugh! From what you've told me, I too pity her. I am a teacher too and am well aware that our degree here in the philippines is not worth dilly-squat in the states.
     
    How long did you say you were in a relationship with this man?
  • botoni said on Mar 01, 2007....
    Yani....first let me tell you how much your comments mean to me.  I ve been feeling kind of deserted on this.
     
    We dated for six months.....we travelled back and forth between my city and his ....a 14 hour drive but only and hour flight.  We did that every second weekend.  Then he moved here to live with me....that lasted 1 and 1/2 years. 
     
    Damn Canadian and American transferable credentials!  There are so many highly qualified people with needed skills and they just cant get certification when they get here.  We ve got foreign trained doctors and accounts driving taxi here.  Such a terrible waste.  You re a trained teacher and you would end up doing caregiver/nanny kinds of work here.  How stupidly wasteful our government is on these things.  You would be so much better off if your training could be put to decent use here.
  • yani said on Mar 01, 2007....
    Botoni no problem dear :) I love reading about people. If I had my way, I will stop working and just spend all my days reading and commenting at SC. This site is addictive :) I don't know what happened to the rest of my comments but I distinctly remember defining the word manloloko = cheat, liar.
     
    I totally detest people like your ex-boyfriend. His wife must really be very desperate to be abroad when she decided to believe his lies. Anyway, it was her choice.
     
    Botoni, I know it was difficult for you to be without him, especially after living with him for more than a year, I can only congratulate you on your wise decision, even if I know it was difficult. Life is so beautiful to waste it on a scoundrel like him.
     
    I agree about the stupidity of those government who refuse to recognize the skillful people that goes to their countries. I know that when I do go abroad, all I'll ever do is babysit and stuffs like that. But you know, if my life here doesn't get any better, I too will go abroad. I would like to give my daughters a better life and if that means wiping someone's ass abroad, I'll do it.
     
    Cheers!  :)
  • botoni said on Mar 02, 2007....
    yani...you re becoming my sweetest friend.  I ll let you in on a little secret.  I m a well educated man with many abilities but I hold a part time job as a caregiver myself.  One of the duties is a complete bowel routine.........yukkkkkkkkkkkky!
     
    Sorry I missed your translation on maloloko.....I must have been speedreading right past it.  Not noticing it led me to go to a pinoy chat room where I asked for a translation.  OH HO HO......what a load of answers I got.  I now have a whole dictionary of words I can use to describe the sob.....He s known to my friends as POS...(piece of shit)......but thats not very polite......heheheh.
     
    When and if you get to Canada you HAVE to let me show you the one thing he gave me that made it a little bit worthwhile.  I ve got a fair handle on making things like halo halo and lumpia thanks to him.  Cmon over and when your homesick we ll whip a batch of pinoy delicacies................uh......no pigs ears if its ok with you.
  • gingersoul said on Mar 02, 2007....

    Botoni......i deeply despise man like your ex lover.....

    I come from 3 horrible years of lies, deceiving, betrayals so i am not the right person to understand his motivations (if any). My ex and i are divorced by one year now but still some details stings and burns .....i am glad you detached yourself from that sick man.... 

    The way he is going to treat his wife is simply disgusting.

    I feel for her.....

    Like Yani, i too congratulate you for arriving in a better place and feel better toward yourself and your choices ....even though i understand how difficult must have been push that man out of your life....

    I wish you to find the love of your life very soon.....:-)

  • botoni said on Mar 02, 2007....
    Ginger....thanks so do I deeply despise them........And just so you know there is a new love on the horizon.
  • Lioness said on Mar 02, 2007....
    hi, so that's what your name is...

    I kinda got it, coz boto is actually from our local dialect. hehehehe.. funny. prick huh?

  • botoni said on Mar 03, 2007....

    Ah Hah.....Lioness you re an Ilocana!  I hope you re not from the same barangay.  I d hate to be talking about one of your neighbors the way I ve been trashing this man.  Ohhhhhhhhhh.
  • botoni said on Mar 03, 2007....
    Oooops.....more to that comment........Yup I guess I m a prick.  At least thats what he switched his pc password to after I tossed him out for the third time (each time because of another affair).  Huh?  I dont understand why I m a prick because of that..................maybe he thought I should congratulate him?   lol   Gonna ask how I got his password?
  • Lioness said on Mar 05, 2007....
    LOL botoni, yes, I definitely am!! I doubt we're neighbors, I actually am dislocated from my place of origin, so nothing to worry about.. Hahaha...

    Funny story you have.. prick is kinda leading, so I am not surprised. =) Whoah.. he deserves to be tossed out ! =)
  • Lioness said on Mar 05, 2007....
    I just read all your posts botoni, and came to eventually understand who you are referring to. That son of a bitch! User and liar! You should go cut him out if your get the chance, and I hope you do. And now I ain't proud that I have a kababayan like him!

    Anyway, you writing posts like these makes people like me open our eyes to such relationships. It made me appreciate and understand homosexual relationships. Thanks.
  • botoni said on Mar 05, 2007....
    Lioness..............Thank you so much for reading all my posts.  I really really needed to vent about that stuff.  Hope I didnt give the impression I think all Filipinos are like him.   Thank Gawd he s moved to the USofEh and is no longer hear in Canada.  The air is much fresher here with out him!
    To his credit he did teach me to cook some damn good Pinoy food.  I m still not big on pigs ears or dried fish though.   Hehehehe....its a Canadian thing we eat strange.
  • botoni said on Mar 05, 2007....
    Sheeesh I never complete my re=comments!  Lioness....the homo world here is a lot different from there.  We are more widely accepted here and we dont face as much scorn and ridicule as gays in the Phils do.  My understanding is that gays there are mostly percieved as being very different from the rest of the population and a sense of shame about being gay seems to be prevelant among the gay filipinos I know here.  Actually we re pretty normal people....our only difference is that we respond sexually to the same gender...........other than that we live and breath and have the same responses to life as anyone else.
  • Lioness said on Mar 05, 2007....
    Geez, you really learned so much from him huh,and you eat Pinoy food? Cool. Oh well, I really hope you won't generalize. =)

    Yeah, you are right with the perception, botoni. I don't have prejudice, I have gay friends too. Society, our society can be very harsh. It takes time to accept it, and I could see that our society is opening, albeit slowly.
  • botoni said on Mar 05, 2007....
    I love Pinoy food Lioness.............sometimes a little spicy for my western tongue but I still like it.  There are starting to be Philippino restaurants in my city so I go occasionally.  I make a terrific cassava cake and halo halo is my favorite treat.
     
    I have a huge natural gas barbecue so my Pinoy friends like to come over for luchon and they always bring me pansit.
     
    Now if I could just learn to like karaoke I could almost be pinoy!
  • Lioness said on Mar 06, 2007....
    amazing!! And what a shame I love cassava cake but don't know how to make one. Geez. Halo-halo? Wow, great! I believe you were a Filipino in your past life. hehehe..

    karaoke? Hmmm... that I could join you! =)

  • petitepapillon said on Mar 06, 2007....

    Your ex sounds like a real asshole and thank god you got rid of him. Unfortunately for the wife, she won't see his true colors until he divorces her, leaving her for one his male lovers. It looks like you tried to warn her, from what I read in a comment you made to yani, but she was manipulated into believing otherwise. That's partly her fault, however, and she'll soon see how right you were.

    And, ooh, I was just reading your convo with Lioness on this post and I envy the fact that you can make cassava cake! I love that stuff! And I am particularly fond of halo-halo. My mom can't make either, so we buy both at filipino stores, but she can make a mean ginataan and chicken adobo. Mmm, now I'm getting hungry!

    I definitely agree with Lioness, that you must have been a

  • botoni said on Mar 06, 2007....
    Lioness.......hehehe a filipino in a past life?  I hadnt considered that but you could be very correct.  I love everything filipino and (almost) everyone filipino.....heheheh..one exception.  The food, the customs, the warmth of acceptance and friendliness in the filipino community is incredible to me.  Except for that one damn manololos in my life all my other experiences have been super good.
     
    Just enter 'cassava cake recipe' in your browser you ll find a few thousand recipes.  The challenge is to try making most of them and report on the one you like best.  They are definately a Heart Attack in a Pan but they are soooooooooo good!
     
    Petitepapillon......Thanks for the comforting words about my ex....you re so right I m greatful to god and Air Philippines I got rid of him. 
     
    We have a total shortage of sari-sari stores here so I have to make my own.  Oh yeah!  I love a pot of chicken adobo too!
     
    When it comes to karaoke I  warn everyone I cant sing when they press me to join in.  After I relent and do a song.  They agree!....hehehe
     
    An aside to this karaoke thing.  I honestly hate it with a passion and have never been drunk enough to enjoy participating or listening.  I am an adoptee.  I found my birth family.  I flew across the country to meet one of my sisters.   Would you believe she, complete with husband and grown kids with spouses all insisted on taking me to a ................KARAOKE BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!  If it wasnt for the fact we look like twins I d swear I found the wrong family.
     
     
  • queenparanoia said on Mar 07, 2007....
    why am i late when posts like this????
     
    anyway now i get it your canadian and he's filipino...
     
    anyway he's a real prick.
     
    welcome to soulcast botoni! i'm a filipina. believe me you'll love it in here!
     
    i think its cool that people doesn't discriminate gays there unlike here in the philippines it is not et widely accepted!
     
    you like filipino foods? well you'll love this post.
     
     
  • botoni said on Mar 07, 2007....
    Queen you re right on.  I totally enjoyed your post.
     
    Yup he is a real prick but thank God he s in somebody elses back yard now.
     
    Thanks for the welcome.  I ve been following your posts almost since the first day I got here.  You re a most impressive Filipina!
     
    The discrimination thing will change in time.  Its tough for gay Pinoys here as well.  An observation though.....most gay Pinoys who were born here or came here very young find it easier to feel free to 'come out' than those who were raised in the Philippines.
     
    Thanks for the encouraging words.
  • queenparanoia said on Mar 07, 2007....
    thanks botoni!!!
  • Lioness said on Mar 07, 2007....
    Makes me proud that other nationalities are actually enjoying all about being Filipino. Well, there'll always be manlolokos in our midst... It just so happened you met of them. I hope to learn making cassava cakes to in the future...(Love eating it!)

    Petite seems to be very familiar with being Filipino... Ginataan and Chicken Adobo.. Petite, are you Fil too??

    Ok, how about dinuguan, lechon, papaitan, and balut? Have you tried these stuff??


  • yani said on Mar 07, 2007....

    oh god! did you mention chicken adobo? that is my favorite food!

    I'll die and live again and it would still be my favorite :)

    just thought to drop by, been missing SC for a few hours :)

  • botoni said on Mar 07, 2007....
    Lioness................yes on the lechon!  Dunuguan is different.  Havent found pork blood readily available until yesterday when I was in the asian supermarket.  By golly ther it was!  Papaitan and balut are new to me...i ll dig for some recipes and give them a try.
     
    Manlolokos!.....lol I know several gay filipinos.....wouldnt you know it I d pick that one.  The friend that intruduced us is still not forgiven.....hehehehe.
     
    yani...............i m hooked like you on SC....but delighted............the whole gang is wonderful!
  • botoni said on Mar 08, 2007....
    Lioness.....I checked out the recipes for papaitan and balut.  Truthfully I think I might be a bit hesitant at first but I m sure I d give them both a try.  One of the recipes I found had space for comments.  My Gawd!.....The discussion was getting pretty heated. 
     
    Because I m genuinely Canadian I come naturally from a long line of different ethnic foods.  I have ancestors from Sweden, Norway, Germany, England, Wales, Ireland, Scotland............and probably others.  Eating lutefisk or haggis kind of prepares one for most other things......hehehe.
     
  • Lioness said on Mar 08, 2007....
    botoni, for sure I would survive being away from my country. hahaha... I pray you wouldn't meet people like him anymore.

    Papaitan is usually used as "pulutan" here. Balut is an exotic food. A duck egg with an undeveloped fetus and boiled.

    Hmmm.... Lutefisk sounds delectable, looks like the local "tuyo" or "daing" (dried fish). Haggis is more like our local "longganisa", yummy. Though I haven't tried eating sheep's meat yet.
  • botoni said on Mar 08, 2007....
    Hehehehe Lioness.....I m gonna put the next one through a screening process and he s gonna have to court me big time..
     
     
     
  • Lioness said on Mar 08, 2007....
    A brilliant idea botoni! Let him go through the eye of a needle. LOL Don't forget to let us know....Hahaha..

    Hmmmm, I wonder how courtship style is?

Comment on "What my name means.........."

love anger sadness botoni prick (Click to add tags below)

(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Comment Anonymously

I knew it was coming. We thought we would lose him earlier this year to congestive heart failure. Somehow this wonderful soul hung on for a few more months and at 4:30 this morning he slipped away in his sleep. He was like a father to...
Don't you love technology? Take the he magic world of web cameras for example......:-)...
We finally told our families! Much rejoicing.......
Well, about twelve years ago I handed my mother a brown paper grocery bag...
.. for the first time in five years.. for the first time ever.. what a magical wonderful first time!! Here's a slice out of my life.

:-)...

Subscribe to the SoulCast Newsletter To Receive the Best Uncensored Blogs About Love, Sex, Relationships, God, Politics, and More.


Ever wonder what people really think and how they really live?

Read about the real lives of regular people like you whose powerful moving blogs will make you smile, cry, emotional, and warm inside.

Your FREE SoulCast newsletter is just moments away. Receive your first feel-good blog by entering your email address below.

First Name:
Your Email:


You can unsubscribe at any time with one click. We NEVER sell or share your email address with anyone. Period. close