• dailyachesandpains said on Feb 14, 2007....

  HH:  I was spanked too.  The 'belt' was always used as a threat, only.  I remember when I was four, I peeled the paint off of my kiddie rocking chair and my mother picked me up and laid me across her legs, as she sat on my bed and just didn't stop spanking.  I was bare bottom too!  Oh yeah, she wanted me to feel every ounce of sting!
   
  I don't spank my Daughter, neither of us do.  I don't think I've gotten to a point with her where she's "deserved" a spank by doing something so bad.  Coloring on the wall with a Sharpee, paint can cover that.  I just don't think I have it in me, and I know my Husband doesn't, to spank her for anything....yet.  Let's just say that it would have to be REALLY bad for her to get one, like feed another kid marbles.
   
  Daily 

• Lucytorial said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Spanked only when I didn't listen, disobeyed and back talked.

  Which wasn't that often,. communication was so very important that the spank only came when ignorance and arogence flew in to the room.  I do not think there is anything wrong with it however I know my sister after she has spanked her kids asks them "Do you know why mummy spanked you??" they usually say yes and tell her then she says "Do you think I would have spanked you if you had listened?" they always answer no so it's very seldom they get spanked but I do not think having talked, reasoned, explained, asked, requested, told and demanded that if they don't listen then hey! spank away but always talk to them after about why.  (is this worth a few cents??)

• tbs230 said on Feb 14, 2007....

  I was spanked...oh Lord, Jesus Christ, I was spanked...but I deserved it. My mother wasn't and isn't big on hitting people. Usually she would make me kneel on the floor for hours or if she did hit me, there was more emphasis on me ABOUT to get hit, then actually getting hit. Does that make sense? It was the fear of the belt that was worse than the actually hitting. The pain of that eventually went away, but the moment leading up to a beating? Oh Lord Jesus Christ.
  
  Getting hit was the punishment for doing something bad...there weren't very many incidents, believe me. I think alot of people mistake spankings with abuse. Getting spanked means you did something wrong, and are getting punished for it. Physically abusing your children is hitting them for no reason. Those leave emotional scares, whereas spankings become anecdotes to share with your friends when discussing the "good ol' days".
  

• Lucytorial said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Hi TBS I agree.

  Remember dad got so riled his veins were popping out of his head like frankenstein and man! that hurt... what a whack!!!

  There is a huge difference between spank/abuse not a thin line a HUGE cavern...

• mousenphonic said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I got spanked, not alot, but I got a real beating when I deserved it.  It has made me the strong individual I am today.  I respect my parents and authority.  But spanking has become "illegal" here where I live in the last couple of years, and you can see it through the new generation of children's attitude today.  As they say, spare the rod, spoil the child....I am all for the good old beating, thank you.

• mommyof2 said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I was beaten not spanked so I will never abuse my babies...but...if they were to run in the road or something like that there would be one swat on only the rear along with many words...

• genalonewolf said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I as a child only had my mother to discipline me and my three other sibs. She needed to let us know that the things we did, which were pretty horrible at times, were not going to be tolerated in any way shape or form. She used a belt several times on all of us and it didn't take me long to learn what was wrong and right.
   
  I heard just not to long ago of a child threatening her parents by calling children services if they punished her. It worked and now this child is the biggest bitch anyone has ever met.
  I have no remorse for spanking the children especially when the offense is repeated repeatedly! It isn't all the time either becasuse they learn not to do it.
  I fell that if a child isn't taught that there is going to be consiquences for their actions, there are going to grow up with a holier than thou complex. or something like it.
  Most times after they have gotten into trouble and no action is taken and words are exchange in the fact that what they did was wrong, chances are that they are going to do it again. Words are so easily forgotten or easy to be forgotten.

• Muckraker said on Feb 15, 2007....

       I don't see anything wrong with a swat on the rump of an unruly child from time to time.  But if you do it too often, it will lose its effect.  Parents whith short fuse tempers do not need to do even that because sometimes their temper can cause them to hit harder than they intended.  If the occassional swat does not have the desired effect, the parent  should go to alternate means of disipline.  So much of disipline is common sense and love for the child.  Be firm, fair, and consistent at all times.   Whatever punishment technique parents decide to use,  it is very important to be consistent.   Don't administer disipline in a haphazard on again off again approach.

• hotaka said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I was only spanked a few times and only for bad stuff like stealing my friend's dinosaurs. I only remember the last time I was ever spanked because my dad seemed so sad and disappointed in me. I cried but not because it hurt. I cried because I made my dad feel so disappointed in me. That was the time I stole my friend's dinos.

  I think sometimes kids need something to fear in order to keep them from misbehaving too badly. But then again, my dad was spanked with a wooden coat hanger so many times and he still caused trouble as a kid.

• gingersoul said on Feb 15, 2007....

  HHater....nice post....

  I have been spanked only once. By my father. It was just one single swat on my face. I was probaby a teen. I don't remember exactly the reason. But i do remember his face and me thinking.."You can go ahead as long as you want but i will not break".

  With my daughter i used once in a while some small hittings on her hands. Not that heavy either. It was my face, my voice, my words that were affecting her the most. The symbolism of the punishment and the fear of the consequences. The key is being consistent, and meaning what you are saying. It was a matter of feeling humiliated, for her. She didnt really need a physical enforcement. But there are kids that seem not to have the word humiliation in their list....

  I did it very few times and only when she was younger..when i ask her if she remembers these episode she says she doesnt...

  I believe in disciplining kids. I have been the first one to be surprised by my method: having grown as a free spirited liberal kind of person, i turned out to be actually a very strict mother. My friend calls me The General....lol....

  But kids need to have rules, limits and boundaries, its their inner rebel that have to be shaped against them. Being strict doesnt mean not understanding that losing a small battle is not losing the war.....even the steel bends...

  i let many times my kid wins her battles...it gives her self confidence, independence, ability to choose right from wrong...i can't be always there choosing for her.....but on the very important issues she knows where i stand and that if she breaks the rules of our little family she will have to follow the consequences.....now when we watch together SuperNanny she is horrified by how bad those kids behave...:-0

  Spanking is not abusing. A small swat in the butt once in a while doesn't kill anybody. Too many parents want to be the cool older friends of their kids...well, guess what...you are not ...you are supposed to be a parent...being friends comes later....guess which kids are the worst?

  My daughter has never been seen running freely in the store touching everything, or pushing people, or screaming and talking back to grown ups or making faces or making fun of people....acting like spoiled brats..........actually, when she witnesses some of these monsters in action she tells me 'Geez, where are their parents?"....lol...

• tbs230 said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Ginger, ohmigod...don't you want to just snatch those kids up and hit them for the parents? I'm telling you, when I used to babysit my little sister, I used to take her for walks around the neighborhood. She never left my side, always next to me or right in front of me where I could see and reach her. If she wanted to go running like a lunatic she would ask me and then wait until I told her it was okay. And when she reached the corner, she stopped at the edge of the last building on that street.
  
  I remember one day she was coming from school and the kids were running in front of the parents. I was the one to pick her up that day, and I remember the parents yelling at their kids to stop before they got hit by cars. I never had to, my sister stopped running half way down the block because she knew I didn't like her to go too far away from me. The parents were amazed. And at that age, my sister had never been hit anywhere besides her hands. My mother used to make her go sit in the room by herself for half an hour when she was bad, to show her that misbehaving meant she couldn't do the things she wanted as punishment.
  
  When she was 5 she went up to this little girl who was screaming in the street and told her to stop because she was embarrassing her mother. The woman looked so surprised to have this 5 year old talk to her daughter that way. I couldn't stop laughing. Now my sister is a little devil, but she doesn't do anything worse than not go take a shower and get to bed on time.
  

• gingersoul said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Tbs....oh...you made me remember something i did years ago.....we were at this b-day party for some of my daughter's friends....and there was this pestering kid who was throwing hard candies to the othe other kids annoying them all....His mother couldn't care less.......she was too busy chatting her stupid brain out  with the other moms...well,  i stopped the little devil just when he was going to throw other candies up close  against a girl....i mean, those candies can hurt you like mini bullets.....

  i hold his arm and kneeling down to hie eyes level told him "What would you do if all the kids would start throwing candy back at you? Its not nice, you might hurt somebody and this is not even your home. If you dont stop i will ask your mom to bring you home". He was simply dropping his jaw by the surprise...i realized  that most likely his mother had never talked to him that way....guess what? She didn't even notice the whole scene...i kept an eye on him...and at least in front of me he didnt throw any more candies..but maybe he was doing it when i wasn't watching him...lol..

• pickersplock said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I was spanked too, and the reason I don't spank my kids is because;
  at a certain age I realized my parents couldn't spank me any more and, believe
  me, I took advantage of that. I think you have to use discipline consistently
  if you want to get through to children. They have to know there are consequences
  for bad behavior and a certain point they need to learn self discipline.

• bloc said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I've always thought of spanking as the lazy parents means of discipline. "I don't want to figure out a way to set boundaries and build self discipline so I'll just use fear and physical pain because it's quick and easy. "

• mom said on Feb 15, 2007....

  I believe in spankings as long as they don't go to far.  I don't usually spank right off the bat.  I think communication is very important, if the child doesn't know why they are in trouble they are apt to repeat it. I have been lucky that most of my kids were more worried about my being disappointed.  I don't feel that you should ever wail away on your kids, a few smacks should do it.  Sometimes you have to be creative when a spanking doesn't hurt.  One child we did and that was putting him in a cold shower.   

• pickersplock said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Hey Bloc, we finally agree on something! Hooray, let's throw a party!
  Don't tell anyone though! We wouldn't want this to get out!

• bloc said on Feb 15, 2007....

  :)

• pickersplock said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Right back at you Bloc!

• tmbkd73 said on Sep 27, 2007....

  I was spanked as a child and I turned out quite well. I am not a bad person, nor did I ever land in jail or in trouble and I have my parents to thank for that. I feel that spanking IS NOT emotional abuse nor does it hurt a child emotionally, yes it hurts physically but isn't that the point of a spanking? It's supposed to hurt physically so the child will not do whatever he/she did again to get them into that position in the first place. I think that spanking can lead to abuse but only because it's the parent giving out the spanking that has gone overboard or is so angry that they don't realize it has turned into abuse. I really think the reason why kids today are disrespectful, and rebellious is because we have taken away corporal punishment away from our schools, and parents. In my day (and I am not that old , only 33 LOL) if I ever back talked, disrespected an adult, or lied or anything to that nature my dad took the paddle to my butt! I was spanked from the age of 4 all the way until I graduated H.S. and like I said I think I have turned out just fine. These psychiatrists, and CPS counselors who say that kids who are spanked growup to be angry adults who abuse is a bunch of BS. I was spanked and I have never abused a child nor would I, and I am far from being an angry person! I laugh at those people who make such ridiculous statments. But my point is we need spanking in society , that is if we want our children to growup being resepectful adults. I am all for spanking, maybe not for every little thing but it's a tool that should be there for parents to use at thier discretion!

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