When my husband and I decided to get married, my family and friends were less than impressed. I think they were relieved when I told them we were having a destination wedding in Barbados where they wouldn't have to pretend to be happy for me!
They begged me to skip one of our residency requirements to prevent it from being a legal marriage. They made up all kinds of ways for me to get out of the commitment I had made. And my sister called me the day before my wedding to remind me that no one would ever know if we skipped the entire ceremony all together. But, I was stubborn...
The signs started slapping me in the face before we ever boarded the plane.
-The airline could not guarantee my gown and his suit would arrive with us, undamaged and we were only allowed to have two carry ons. Instead of getting upset, I emptied my carry on into my husbands and unzipped the garmet bags and put his suit in with my gown. Problem solved.
-The garmet bag was so heavy that I considered leaving it in one of the airports. When I suggested ditching it in Pittsburg my husband laughed and said he already tossed his shoes out of it!
-When we got off the plane in Barbados the air was so thick that it felt like a cinder block on my chest. The longer we waited in customs the dizzier I felt. There were no instructions for the forms and it dragged out so long I would have flown back to the US if they would have let me.
-Just as our driver loaded our bags and began to pull out a police officer stopped us.
-The ride to the resort was a terrifying hour long trip. We narrowly avoided several collisions and I refused to open my eyes or let go of my husband's hand until we arrived at the resort.
-I was horrified to learn that there was no soda at the resort. We could walk two miles to a store in the unbareable heat or risk our lives with the resort's driver. We walked.
-The only thing on the menu that looked remotely edible was the fruit. Yes, I ate fruit for the entire week. Not only did I eat fruit for almost every meal, it was very expensive fruit....$30 fruit for breakfast. At this point, I had to laugh.
-The man who was supposed to marry us couldn't because my husband had been married before and neither one of us had been baptised.
-I have a fear of swimming in anything but pools. But, I gave in and went snorkeling with my husband. I stepped on a fish....a fish that injects venom. They were holding me down in the lobby waiting for the ambulance. The nerve pain was excrutiating and it felt like my bones were going to explode in my leg. I was crying hysterically begging the doorman to cut my leg off but he refused.
-The emergency room was nothing more than a doctors office open after normal business hours and I was disgusted by the nurse not wearing gloves. They suggested giving me a tetanus shot and I tried to leave. When the doctor finally came in, he told me they normally treat this by melting candle wax over it. But, since I was an American and not used to this fish like the Bajans, he would give me the medicine.
-When we finally returned to the resort several hours later, our wedding coordinator was in tears running across the lobby. "Not my bride!!! Not today!!! Not my bride!!!" She finally found someone to marry us and now I couldn't walk. She had to rearrange the entire wedding.
-It was physically impossible for me to walk down the aisle. Instead of calling the whole thing off....we skipped that part and I stood on one leg for the whole ceremony.
-Our wedding dinner was supposed to be incredible... I thought it would be for $200. When they brought out our plates the american brat in me came out. It was red snapper wrapped in a banana leaf and vanilla rice with either coffee or tea. I refused to eat it. I had had enough. I gave my plate to my husband and asked him if he believed in signs.... he didn't answer, we just both burst out laughing.
He gave me a piggyback ride back to our room, laid me in our bed and left. When he returned over an hour later, he had a bag of KFC and a six pack of soda and a candy bar. I promised him a lot of sex for that gesture....as soon as we made it back to the US alive.
Have you had times when the signs come one after the other?
