• polarheart said on Feb 10, 2007....

  Truth, I dont mind this being linked to my "name".
   
  When I was in highschool, somewhere between the ages of 13 to 15, I cant remember what the reason was, but I had to go and ask the caretaker of our apartment block if I could use his phone to call my mom.  He was a mature man with grown kids and teenage grandchildren.  The phone was in a corner on a counter next to a table.  When I was done and wanted to leave the man blocked my way out between the counter and the table and said I owed him a kiss.  So, not wanting to be disrespectful I went forward to give him a peck and when I did so he stuck his tongue in my mouth.
   
  Honestly, that is where my recollection of this event stops, i cant remeber what I did, but I got out of there.  I could never face him after that.  I use to hate having to use the lift just in case he would be in there.  Sometimes he would pop in to speak to my dad or mom and I would always be aware so as not to have to speak to him.  I cant remember if I told my mom, I most certainly would never have told my dad.
   
  Dont know if this is any help, hope it is.
   
  Polarheart

• anonymous said on Feb 10, 2007....

  One of my friends was sexually abused by her father throughout her childhood, so was her sister. In later years this caused her to believe the only way she could get male attention was through sex and built herself quite a reputation. Tragically she was raped by a man who felt because of her experience "no" didn't mean "no". She felt that because of her reputation, and most likely because of what she'd been through as a child, that no-one would believe her and never reported it.
  

• mommyof2 said on Feb 10, 2007....

  Your list has all happened to me, started at age aprox 5 can't recall back farther could have been birth..it has affected everything in my life...mainly my memories, can't think of the good without the bad creeping in.....trust for everyone including family is gone..makes suicide a daily thought..my kids are the only reason I live

• truthsayer said on Feb 10, 2007....

  Polarheart, that is exactly what I mean.  When we let the truth out, it has happened to us, our family, our friends.  Of all my research, I have found this to be the most disturbing and pervasive, yet almost always, hidden.  Most people would hear your story and compared to their own or someone elses, say, 'no big deal'.  But it is a big deal...because you have no idea how many others were acosted by him, and you felt violated and scared.  Like you, most people don't tell.  They don't feel like they can tell their parents or anyone. And that, is just what "they" are counting on.  Thank you for telling now, it is a definite help.

  anonymous, Thank you so much for sharing your friend's story.  They feel soooo alone, and feel so worthless.  That is completely unacceptable to me.   

  mommyof2, do you want me to leave your post?  You didn't comment anonymously, and I don't know if you meant to leave your name or not.  You don't have to hide here, ever, but I want you to feel safe too, because you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.  

  Your trust your children, they love you and remind you of your innocence, which felt like it was stolen. I consistently find that predators are attracted to and, at the same time, want to try to steal your innocence.  They cannot, but their sole objective is to make you believe that you are just like them.  It is all in their own training and initiation.

  But, I am so very proud of you for chosing life!  You will continue to choose life because you have much more to do too.  Thank you so much for posting.    

• petitepapillon said on Feb 10, 2007....

  I know I don't know you,  but I'd like to comment. And I don't mind linking either my "name" to this, either.
   
  When I was about 8, my mom's boyfriend started molesting me. I didn't know at the time what he was doing; I merely thought he was showing that he loved me. I was young, naive, innocent, and I only saw my dad on the weekends.
   
  When I was about 9, I remember these two women coming into my class to talk about "the bad touch." It was from them that I learned that what my mom's boyfriend, whom I now call "the bastard," was doing was not out of love but out of his own pleasure. But at that point, I didn't know how to stop him. The only thing I could do was keep away from him as best as I could. But every now and then, he would catch me off guard or do it when I was asleep( I know this only because I woke up one morning to him touching my with his penis. I immediately jumped out of reach.)
   
  So, the sexual abuse pretty much was on and off until I turned 13 and I finally did more to make him stop. I never stayed in the same room as him. I started locking my doors at night and just in case he ever got the key from my mom's key chain, he also blocked my door with heavy stuff from my room.
   
  Well, from then on, all hell broke loose. We got into so many fights. I remember my mom divorcing him twice, both times never sticking because he would practically stalk her. So, she went back to him the first time and I was there with them. But the second time, the time I thought it was going to stick, I told my mom I was moving in with my dad. And the day she went back to him was the day I started living with my dad and started building a better relationship with him.
   
  Now, life with my dad was great. I was starting my first year in college and I was free to do whatever I wanted without being asked so many questions about this and that. With him, it was just "Where are you going?" And I'd tell him and that was it. And I thought life was going to be normal again. Boy, was I wrong.
   
  I made the mistake of believing that the bastard had actually changed and started being nice to him, especially since I visited my mom at their new house.
   
  Well, to make a long story, the house my dad rented was set on fire the day before Christmas of 2001. My dad moved in with his girlfriend and I stupidly moved back in with my mom and the bastard. And his sick and twisted ways started up from there and went all the way up to the point where on August 22nd, 2002, he raped me. He pretended to be a burglar wearing a blue uniform with a cadet patch on it and a blue ski mask, taped my mouth and eyes shut, handcuffed me and stunned me with a stun gun. And, ah yes, my favorite part (sarcasm, if you can't tell), proceeded to press a gun to my left temple and clicked it three times.
   
  Yes, he was caught. And yes, he was put on trial. And yes, he is serving time. And not just the flimsy 5-7 years of time, either. Because he had other charges against him from everything else he did and because he went in and outside, they counted as two separate offenses. He got the stiffest sentence ever given in my county, about 50+ years, where he has to serve a majority of it before he can get out. By that time, he'll be 90-something.
   
  As of right now, I'm still dealing with it, still healing from the hell he's put me through. I've been suicidal quite a few times, even was sent to a psych  hospital for a couple of days and put on meds. But because I have an awesome therapist that pushes me to fight and fights for me, I keep going. I keep living. Because I'm a survivor, right? Right.
   
  I hope this helps you out in some way. I have more to the story, the trial part mostly, but I thought I'd cut it out since it was too long already. But if you want to hear about it, let me know. It helps me to talk about it and it gets me ready to talk about it with my therapist.
   
  ~Iris

• anonymous said on Feb 10, 2007....

  I once worked at a business where I collected urine for drug testing.  I was alone in the space with a man who started describing the size of his penis to me.  This was a professional man with status in the company.
  
  I reported him to my management because I felt it was inappropriate especially when you took the setting into account.  It was the first time I had ever met this man.
  
  Management had him apologize to me.  I suppose I could have sued for sexual harassment, but  I didn't.
  

• mommyof2 said on Feb 11, 2007....

  Hey truth you can leave my post up

• truthsayer said on Feb 11, 2007....

  petitepapillion: 

  You are my hero.  Don't stop.  You are a survivor, yes, but you are way more than that.  What you have gone through, and fought through, is miraculous.  You are a miracle.  I hope you know now, what a treasure you are.  You fought this violent molestation, and perversion in the only way you knew how as a child.  As an adult, you did what few have the courage to do.  Most people hide sexual crimes.  Some accept their abuse, and even tell themselves that they caused it, brought it on, or that they liked it; and thus, they continue living it...often like a secret life.

  You are only as sick as your secrets, so you young lady, are well, strong and free.  You feel free to write here as much as your heart desires.  Purge and cleanse with your therepist too, and know this, you are a walking talking miracle, with a destiny that you WILL fulfill.  You have a very special purpose.

  Love in Christ,

  and Shalom in Him,

  He is your Rest,

  your wholeness,

  nothing broken and nothing lost...everything that you feel you have lost, or that was stolen, has been kept, in Him.  Ask me more about this if you want to know.  But I promise you, that you have and will be able to access, everything you need to live the rest of your life, very well.

  Please keep in touch.  I have a separate website too.  I am updating it, and I will post the email and web address when it is completed; which should be very soon.

• truthsayer said on Feb 11, 2007....

  anonymous:

  I really appreciate your story about sexual harassment at your work place too.  You would be surprised how common this is.  The weird thing is that it is often shrugged off; or, if it is reported, the person reporting it is often shunned or discounted in some way.  Hopefully, that was not the case with you.  Thank you for posting, it all helps.

  truthsayer

   

  A NOTE TO ALL:

  In fact, I wish everyone that is on this blog site would comment on this subject.  This is just the tip of the iceberg.  I applaud the bravery of all of you who have commented thus far.  It's effects are pervasive, and the true numbers, if people were honest, are astounding...it has affected all of us, in some way.  You folks are telling the truth; if more people did, we could all heal from the lies.

  truth

  truthsayer

• petitepapillon said on Feb 11, 2007....

  Truthsayer~ Thank you for everything you said. It means a lot to me to hear that because every now and then, I forget those kind words you said about me.
   
  I used to think that it was my fault and that I caused it, but I've since learned, thanks to my first and now my second therapist, that none of what happened to me was my fault. Of course, I won't deny that I do get my down days where I feel like the world is shitting on me again and I somehow caused and deserved it.
   
  I will definitely keep in touch and look forward to reading more of your blogs from here on out. I must confess that this post was the first of yours that I came across and I just felt the need and urge to comment and share.
   
  And you're the only one who's called me their hero. Surprisingly enough, my therapist said the same thing one day and I almost cried my eyes out because I just couldn't see how that was possible. It's both strange, yet encouraging to hear that coming from someone whom I respect and adore and cherish for helping me better my life.
   
  By the way, one thing I left out. The fire to the house my dad rented was indeed arson and it was suspected that the bastard did it in order to get me to move back in with him and my mom. Yeah, that's just how fucked up he is.
   
  I thank God everyday for giving me the strength to survive all this.

• truthsayer said on Feb 13, 2007....

  petitepapillion:

  That was the first thing I thought, about the house I mean.  I had a therapist/friend tell me that once too.  Because I believed and had faith for total healing from all the traumas of my life, and for everyone else healing from all of their soul wounds too.  I believe in complete and total healing, and never accepted anything less in my life, or from others...not rigid kind of expectations, but unyeilding love.  Either you believe it, and are willing to work at it, or accept that healing and all that it requires of you, or you don't.  That therapist cried, because she didn't think she had that kind of faith for herself.  She said I gave her hope though.

  I had another therapist/friend at that same time.  He lived a life of rigid rules, and very simple or restricted emotions; that was sad to me too.  He said that was all he could allow himself, because if he gave himself an inch, he would take a mile. 

  I like restoration and transformation...not incorporating what was wrong in my life, and adapting to the damage...but to pray to God to far exceed what my broken past had planned for me.  To HEAL completely, and be what God intended me to be from the beginning of His first thought of me.  Isn't that amazing?  He thought of you.  He had a plan, from the beginning.  He walked out your life from the end, to the beginning.  I heard a lady "survivor" say that, and that He doesn't give the "ok" to your birth, until He walks that walk.  Then, when He knows that you'll be alright, He gives the nod, and you are born.  I thought that was beautiful.

  Thanks for sharing again!  Keep checking back!

• purrrkitten said on Feb 13, 2007....

  You may use my nick if you please.

  I will start with myself. I wasn't molested as a child tho I was taught to hate and fear my body and my sexuality. I was taught that my body was worthless and so I gave it away blindly a few times. I was raped four times by my ex-husband just before I left him (within a two week period) as well as emotionally and verbally abused by him. He choked me up against a wall two days before I walked out the door.

  I've been stalked three times. First time by a flasher-soon-to-be-rapist at college. Second, by a pervert that cruised the mall I worked in and gave me obscene phone calls. Third, by a married man that I'd been seeing who was so emotionally abusive that I broke up with him. He freaked on me, chased me down, harrassed me, phoned me, came to my work, drove past my house.

  Of people who's lives have been touched, I know many. My aunt was sexually assaulted in her apartment after being drugged by her landlord. My x-SIL was molested and raped by her brother. My good friend was molested as a youngster by an uncle. Another friend was repeatedly molested as a child by family members. Another was raped and beaten by her x until she left him. An x-boyfriend's mom (as well as he and his sister) were beaten by his dad until she left in the middle of the night with the kids. My first x was beaten by his father. My second x was beaten by his father and sexually assaulted by an older boy when he was little. Another friend was beaten by her x as well. Another friend was abused by her boyfriend who also molested her daughter. A friend in college was molested as a child.

  I could go on and on. But this hurts my heart enough already. ~^^

• truthsayer said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Oh thank you purrrkitten, this is so important.  I kept thinking, what can I do?  It seems like there is no socially acceptable place for people to talk about this enough to end it.  It was like writing was the only thing I could think to do, to help. 

  Your point is well taken about not having been molested as a child; yet you have been so affected by these things, repeatedly.  It could have been a parent, or grandparent, or someone else in the family, and although they didn't act it out, they pass on the dirty feeling.  Who knows what happened to bring that out in them, no one talked about much of anything back when.  We don't have to talk about it all the time; but people need to wake up and understand what you and the others have written about...it is all over the place, and I am afraid it is the root cause of our deterioration as a society.

  I hope this didn't hurt you too much to recall.  The things on the list are not about sex, they are violent, they are about power and feeding off of innocence.  A violent man can feed off of the fear, manipulation and control of a woman too...no matter what her age. 

  Sometimes people think that they just won't talk about it, and tell themselves: "I'll never do that".  I know they don't realize that they can pass unresolved issues on to their children or grandchildren, if they don't finish it, or have closure about it in their own minds, and hearts.  I don't even want to get into the spiritual aspects of it here; but it is mind boggling. 

  At least, purrrkitten, your eyes are open to it.  You are not hiding from the effects.  You have seen how many lives are affected by it, just in your own life-sphere...can you just imagine how many others refuse to talk?  It can make the ones that talk about it, feel like "why me"?  Like it only happens to a few.  But I think it is more, over 50% I'd wager, have gone through some form of it themselves, and many, many more have been affected by someone close to them having gone through it.  I think if they say they haven't been affected by it, and they don't know anyone who has...they are probably lying, or hiding; then again, maybe they just don't care.

  It sounds like your post goes to prove my theory.  It is rampant.  It is the "on and on" that scares me.  Be blessed, you deserve the utmost care and respect.  I turned to God early in my life.  I was always impressed with the truth that He was my real Father, but also, that I could trust Him, because He was not a man that he should lie.  Thank you very much.

  In constant prayer,

  truthsayer

   

• purrrkitten said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Truth, I was raised in a Christian home. I've made many mistakes in my life but I've never lost faith in God. I grew up traditional Baptist but have journeyed from there to the Faith that is my own.

  I didn't tell you all of my list of people. There are many on here that have told their stories too. See LadyGamer's Question For The Ladies and Question For The Men. Maybe post a link to here and see how many of them will bring their pain over to you, as well. I've also blogged (a little) on more of my own rapes.

  It is an ongoing thing for most of us. It changes us forever after. Healing comes eventually but there are always scars remaining that can be wounded easily. Memories never completely fade. Certains feelings/fears/anxieties always remain.

  The official stats are 1 woman in 3 will be sexually assaulted/raped/molested in her life. I pray often that I will be that 1 in 3 for my daughter and the 1 in 8 for my sons.

• truthsayer said on Feb 14, 2007....

  purrrkitten:

  Great idea!  I am going to do my best to post links to all related blogs on the subject(s). 

  This is my concern:  the stats are based only on those who "tell".  Ever wonder where all the perps came from?

  Thanks again, I appreciate it more than you could know.  I am on fire for this now.

  truthsayer

• truthsayer said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Here is a link to kruuyai's recent post about a similar subject:

  http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/47581/Predator-as-Protector#

  I have to post this, to see if the link works.

  brb

   

• truthsayer said on Feb 14, 2007....

  Yup!  It works!  Thanks kruuyai and purrrkitten!  I will check through Lady Gamer's blogs, and please, people, let me know if I miss any.  A ripple in the water, is infinite.  One Word, can change the world.

  truth

• kruuyai said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Hey, truthsayer... I'm just marking so I can come back and post my stories later.  I'm still trying to keep to light, fluffy topics for today, and this certainly doesn't fall into that category.  In case I forget to mention it when I come back, feel free to leave my nick.  Most of us have posted or commented on these issues frequently, so it doesn't feel like there's much of a need to add another layer of anonimity, but thank you for respecting that possibility.  In answer to your question about links, you can always feel free to post a link to my post(s).  I've never asked anyone for permission to post a link to their blog, nor are there any soulcast rules prohibiting you from doing it.  I assume that most people want as many people to see their posts as possible, and they are all available to the public anyway. 

• truthsayer said on Feb 15, 2007....

  Thanks for checking in kruuyai.  I know what you mean about the heaviness of it...unfortunately,  I think many people carry the weight with them everyday anyway.  I seek change.  Bless you.

  truthsayer

• secretlife said on Feb 16, 2007....

  a dear friend of mine went thru a divorce 10 years ago.  He daughter was 4 and her son 2 at the time.

  This past summer, her daughter was hospitalized with anorexia....severe...to the point where they were afraid she might die of cardiac arrest....

  during the course of her therapy, it came out that while going thru the divorce, she was molested by her father's girlfriends 2 teenage son's over the course of 3 years....

  this is like a horror story unfolding in front of my girlfriends' eyes.

  during the divorce she petioned the court many times to look into some changes she saw in her children and was basically called spiteful and jealous....

  unfortunately, her children are now paying the price....and while suing the state gives some measure of satisfaction......what real satisfaction can you ever have knowing that you drove your 5 year old to her molestor's house?

• truthsayer said on Feb 18, 2007....

  OMG.  How often we feel like we have been a party to the molestation or other violent act.  We almost always know them.  They are so slick.  So well trained.  I am sorry for your friend, but glad that she finally knows.  It is like a nagging feeling that your husband or wife is having an affair, but having no proof.  You just feel it.  Even if you don't want to know it, you know it...because you feel like there is something wrong...but you cannot seem to catch it.  Thank you so much for sharing this story.  It links this with anorexia too, which is pretty common for survivors.  Control things, you know?  I will add the girl to my prayers, God knows her name.  Let me know how she is faring, if you remember.

  Thanks again,

  truthsayer

• truthsayer said on Feb 18, 2007....

  The above comment is written to secretlife.  Thank you, again.

  truth

• truthsayer said on Feb 18, 2007....

  Here is the link to mom's post on sexual abuse:

  http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/49965/innocense-robbed-and-distrust-is-born

  Let's see if it works this time...

• secretlife said on Feb 18, 2007....

  truth:  the girl isn't doing so well.......she's was in an inpatient program in colorado for 2 months last summer, then they tried outpatient which didn't work because that's when the sexual abuse came out.  she was in again for a month, and now is out, trying to be a freshman in high school (which is hard all by itself) and go to two different counseling sessions...the anorexia 7 days a week, and the sex abuse therapist 5 days a week....fun life huh?
   
  my friend calls me every week just to vent.
  i hear so much anger in her voice it scares the hell out of me.
  she can think of nothing but making her inlaws all pay, the state pay, suing the court-assigned therapists, the prosecutor and on and on.....
   
  i feel she is justified and that a horrible wrong was done to her daughter and indirectly to her.  I see how she wants them all in court to face the music and stand responsible....
   
  the tears are endless. 

• truthsayer said on Feb 20, 2007....

  It gives me chills just reading your last comment.  I can really relate.  At least she found out in time to do something about it.  We didn't know the depth of our daughter's experience until it was too late for us, as parents, to help her.  We wanted everyone to pay too...the trouble was that it was so complicated, and enmeshed and systemized, that we were didn't have one clear place to start the battle...too many fronts, you know? 

  We needed her cooperation too, and the lies she had believed, and the things she herself had done, subsequently, to herself and others; well, she just wouldn't do it.  It was the most horrible tangle, or web I had ever seen.  And most disturbing of all?  We found out how very very common it is. 

  The first time she ran away, we lived in Colorado, by Denver.  I found her at a "man's house".  There were hundreds of snakes in his front "flower bed".  It was horrifying.  The house was full of teenagers.  The police knew all about it too.  They said that they were all over...too many for them to do anything about, and that they "kids were too old" to "help".  They considered them to be like adults, making their own choices and impossible to influence, let alone control.  I was appalled.  They know that they are organized and move the kids around too, from house to house.  Isn't that bizarre and scary?

  I will keep praying.  I would suggest the she get in touch with some really radical support groups.  There are quite a few in Colorado.  I wish I had known that back then.  The mother needs help too, I know that you already know that; but she needs more than prayer.  She needs an advocate that  will take on the system, if possible.

  Her daughter needs Christian intercession and Christian intervention, fast and in person.  Make some calls for her, if you can.  I am sure their collective heads are swimming.  Marilyn Hickey ministries are great for referrals, even if that is not their expertise; they will refer you to someone that knows how to help them.  They got real proactive after Columbine, and they helped me; although long after the event though.

  In fact, one of their pastors prayed with me one day, when no one else would get me past the prayer line...one of their actual pastors got on the phone with me and prayed with me.  This ministry of ours was born that day.  I will not stop speaking of all the things that I have learned cascade in a person's life, from abuse.  Things that keep them in the dark and feeling unworthy to really live, the life that Christ has planned for them.

  Thanks for interacting with me secretlife.  It keeps me aware of proper timing of my comments, and what to reveal next too.  You all have no idea, how much it helps direct me as to the "next step".

  God Speed,

  truthsayer

   

• MissMimi said on Feb 20, 2007....

  truthsayer, a friend of mine was sexually molested by her father when she was a child. I don't know how long it lasted or many of the details. I do know about the scars it left on her soul. I worry about her because I see her do so many things that are so self-destructive. She has a beautiful spirit, I wish she could learn to love herself.

• polarheart said on Feb 20, 2007....

  (Truth, just to let you know I have NOT forgotten about my reply to you, I am still formulating my response. . .thanks so much for your patience ;¬)

• truthsayer said on Feb 21, 2007....

  That is the crux of all of it MissMimi. 

  It makes them feel worthless, even defective. 

  You might want to check into kruuyai's post about Predator as Protector again, for the comments on how dangerously those scars can affect them.  This is why I am writing my book. 

  I am so glad that you are her friend.  It is important, life saving really, to have people keep reflecting their beauty back to them.  Not just their outward appearance, although that is part of it, I have learned. 

  Really low self esteem can, and usually does follow.  But with enough people reflecting their beautiful spirit back to them, and having the courage to tell them the truth, when they are self destructing, is what saves their lives. 

  Most of them, (well, all of us really:  Alcoholics, sex addicts, procrastinators, etc.)have a scenario, that they just keep playing out, until it makes sense, or until it changes...but that isn't the way to end it (you know the test for insanity...we ALL know it, and we have all done it too).  They end it by healing.  All the way. 

  Thanks for writing about your friend's experience in here, and how you have been affected by it too.  We can all help, and we should too. 

  Thanks again MissMimi,

  truthsayer

• random_moods86 said on Feb 23, 2007....

  I have been seduced by my uncle but i was wise enough to get away by using my brain. I was probably nine at the time.

• random_moods86 said on Feb 23, 2007....

  I also know some of my family members being molested by their own family members.

• truthsayer said on Feb 24, 2007....

  It is tragic and common, but always devastating.  It is even devastating when we get away.  I mean, it is something we never forget.  It is entrenched in families too, because they have a hard time talking about it, and stopping it. 

  Most children believe their lies...that their parents will reject them if they tell, and often, they even convince them that they will kill their parents.  I am glad that you "got away".

  Thank you for posting here.  I really appreciate it. 

  truthsayer 

• anonymous said on Feb 27, 2007....

  Well, you've read my postings about the rapes, even as a child, the coersion into porn, and the nightmares and torment about it now.  Can you go from that or should I post more about it here?

  There has also been sexual harrassment at work (one man even sent me video of him masturbating), and various other things.  A lot of the things on your list actually.

• truthsayer said on Feb 27, 2007....

  You don't have to anonymous. 

  I certainly know what you are still suffering, and some of what you have suffered.  I am so proud of you, you know.  That sounds bizarre, because I really don't know you at all.  I just know that you are really in the process of healing, and I know that you are now, and will continue to be an inspiration to others.  I believe that is your calling.  I believe that is part of the "reason" for your suffering.  I have goose flesh as I write this. 

  We are so often wondering "why", why me, why does it continue, and seem to never, completely, end.  I believe it is something we cannot totally put away, until we answer that call.  You pray about it, see how that sits with you.  But you are in a unique position, and there is a reason, a Godly reason, for all suffering.  There is always a lesson to be learned, and another, and another...Maybe this isn't something you are ready to do "yet", but I suspect that you have already started...I will wager that you have already shared something, bravely and honestly, with someone else, that helped them to face something from their past, or present.

  I just want to thank you for your bravery, and that you continue to search out God's will in this.  He doesn't waste a thing you know.  I am sooo sorry for your suffering, but I am so proud of you for surviving with your heart and mind in tact; and with your loving ability to confront the truth.

  I just wanted you to know...

  Come in here and post whatever you want, to whomever you feel lead to comment.  And never post anything you don't want to post.  If you write something, if any of you write something that you wish you hadn't, I will remove it, anytime.  If you want to post more though, that's okay too.  It doesn't have to be explicit to carry impact for someone.  It is just that people can start to think that they are the "only ones" this happens to, and often, we don't want to face how very common it is, and that it affects all of us.

  I do believe that the more empowered you feel, the less that will happen (the video), and don't stop fighting.  I know you didn't ask for my advice, I just know that you are actually heading in the right direction.  Does that make any sense to you?  I know that you want it to stop, but you are working on that right now.  It is like we have a sign over our heads or something...but that is only what it feels like.  It is actually deeper than that. 

  I am probably saying too much.  Just, well, thank you; and God bless you.  If you want me to delete this too, after you read it; I will.  Just say so, and I will.  I will put on a more general comment, instead.  No problem. : )

  truthsayer 

  truth

• AlisonMarie19 said on Apr 14, 2007....

  To revive a dead post, I'll comment.
   
  When I was 15-18, I worked at a restaurant. One of the bartenders liked me. I didn't see much wrong with it at the time, even though he was married with kids. He was in his early 30s at that time. If I was working alone, he'd sneak up behind me and kiss my neck. The bad part is, I liked it. I relished it. I had these sick delusions that when I was of age, we'd run away together. I was a virgin at that time, and I thought about giving that away to him. I look back now, and think, if someone would do that to my 15 year old daughter, I'd string him up by his balls.
   
  When I was 17, I was making out with my boyfriend, who was 18. One way or another, I ended up naked. We were dry-humping, and I flat out refused to have sex with him. After a little bit of this, I realized that he had unzipped his pants, and the first part (about 1/2 inch) of his underwear-encased penis was in me. I didn't think of it as rape necessarily, and I certainly do not count it as having sex. I made him take me home and broke up with him shortly thereafter. It still gives me the creeps to think about it.
   
  You can keep my name with this post. This is one of the only times I've talked about this. I don't tell many people because it makes me feel bad. Especially the former incidents. The latter I chalk up to teenage horn-ball-ness. The former though, makes me feel really creepy-crawly.
             ^-^ ali m.

• truthsayer said on Apr 14, 2007....

  I know what you mean ali m.

  I witnessed similar incidents when I was young.  They didn't used to prepare children for "wrong touching" and stuff when I was a kid.  I don't know that it was any less common, or, maybe it was; but it is rampant...and I don't see any signs of it slowing. 

  I am with you about the "string"!  We are very protective of our children...and still, they have had experiences that they never should have had.  I once abruptly ended a visit to my mother-in-law's house because of extended family and their 'swept under the rug' perversions.  We won't stand for it. 

  I'd rather be overprotective than not protective enough.  Thanks for sharing your story.  I sort of put that book on the back burner...so it is funny that you posted, because I was just thinking this past week, that I had better get busy on it again.

  Thanks for the confirmation ali m.

  truthsayer

   

• truthsayer said on Apr 14, 2007....

  If any of the folks that have already posted, wouldn't mind...I am wondering how everyone is doing, and if any of our previous discussions have changed the way you do things, the way you feel about yourself, your past, your future...?

  Also, secretlife, I was wondering how your friend and her daughter are doing.  If you read this, let me know, will you?

  I was getting ready to move this to draft, in case it was too painful or revealing for any of you.  I think I will leave it up.  You never know who might drop in, and need to read the uplifting comments of survivors and thrivers ; )

  truthsayer

• anonymous said on Apr 15, 2007....

  I'm in therapy right now for my rapes and other things.  It's a weird process, swinging between up and down.  Some days I feel better than I have in a long time.  A lot of days I feel horrible.  But, there is light at the end of the tunnel I'm hoping.  I can feel it if I can't see yet.

• truthsayer said on Apr 17, 2007....

  Is the therapy through your church?  I hope you have spiritual support too.  I know it seems like a long process, but when you receive your healing, you will know that it was all worth it.  I don't want to say too much more, so that I don't reveal who you are (or who I believe you to be)...but I want to take this opportunity to tell you one thing, carefully...sort of "coded":

  You had a discussion once in which "others" told you that you were being overly sensitive...I disagree.  You were right.  They were wrong.  I think you handled yourself with grace and strength.  You were right, and you handled yourself very well.  For what its worth, I hope that empowers you somewhat.  I didn't want to go against them as you see "e" and "z" as your "friends"...but it was really hard to keep my "mouth" shut on the keyboard.

  Here's to your new found strength, and the same gentle grace that you have always had (surely gifted to you by God), I am sure...

  truthsayer

• anonymous said on Apr 17, 2007....

  The councelling is through my church.   And thank you for the kind words. :)

• truthsayer said on Apr 26, 2007....

  You are most welcome.  I found an interesting blog today, and I am posting a link to it, just in case any women in here want to know some tips on protecting yourselves from rapists.  It is written by a female soulcaster, fresh out of a self defense class.

  http://www.soulcast.com/post/show/62044/Through-A-Rapists-Eyes#

  Hmmm, it doesn't seem to work.  I will have to figure out why.  In the meantime, I think you can find it from what I have up here so far.  I'll be back.

  truth

   

   

• truthsayer said on Apr 26, 2007....

  Okay, now it works.  I just thought some of you might be interested.  truthsayer

• anonymous said on Jan 03, 2008....

  Hello truthsayer;

  You are really pathetic I would like to say alot of mean things to you but it wouldn't do any good.  If only everyone knew you.  Or spent just a little bit of time around you.  The only reason you would be writing a book is to get rich off of many peoples misfortunes.   I know the truth and God knows the truth.  It will come out in the end.  I sleep very soundly at night with peace in my heart. 

  HOW ABOUT YOU?

• Elior said on Jan 09, 2008....

  I find it interesting that anonymous says they sleep soundly at night with such obvious malific comments coming out of their mouths. What would Jesus say about the person "Truthsayer" or anyone else? Would He say the kind of things you are trying to express about this beautiful person?
   
  Question for you..... How can you claim the peace of God and proclaim being the bearer of  truth when you carry such poison in your soul?
   
  You're right it will come out in the end. Are you ready to meet and accept your last judgement?
   
  At least you have the ability to see that Truthsayer has talent or you wouldn't be talking about them getting rich.
   
  Actually, you are the one who should be regarded with pity. You must have a very limited existence and couldn't possibly have a real understanding of this person. It is obvious this person has touched a nerve in you a few times by illuminating the very things that you won't face up to about yourself. I know you know what I mean.
   
  I am certain you carry some kind of family curse, it is called "all about you."
   
  Elior
   
   

• anonymous said on Jan 10, 2008....

  Ha Ha....

• truthsayer said on May 09, 2008....

  There they are. I was looking for these comments. I wanted you to know, after much prayer and thought, that the commentor called Elior, which means Light of God, is my husband. The anonymous comment was made my my mother-in-law. My husband grew up abused. It was because of my husband, and his past which continues to haunt him, that I wrote this post in the first place. I saw so many hurting people on Soul Cast, so many wounded people that wanted to heal, but just didn't seem to believe that they could, or that they ever would. My husband begged me to write a book about him. He was so tortured, and like so many that commented in here...he really didn't think he would ever get over it...at least not enough to live a "normal" life. Whatever that is. What was sadder yet, is that he didn't believe that he could ever live a delivered life, set free and unencumbered by his past. I still believe he can...but he has to believe it. My husband and I are not together at this time. I just didn't want any of you to think, when I start blogging about all of the changes in my life, that my husband never loved me...as you can see by his comment here as "Elior", that he really did love me once upon a time. That here, he did the best he could (at the time) to protect me from the darkness of his past, and I wanted you to know that. Love, love, love...and heal, heal, heal my friends so that you can truly live, live, live. Your friend, Truth

• anonymous said on Nov 03, 2008....

  Please visit my ste and spread the word, I want to help in this fight. http://www.lacrimeprevention.com - we do not sell products, we give free information to help prevent crimes, we offer links to the sites you need to see.

• Thinking.... said on Aug 08, 2009....

  Read my story

Comment on "Who's life has been touched by these sexual or violent things?"

Currently tagged	rape exposure it is my life sexual harassment abuse sex molestation Hit A Nerve crime prevention gangs los angeles enticing seduction (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment
	Comment Anonymously