I am known to be the jumpy sort of person. I am known as a loner at work. I have come out of my shell somewhat after shedding about 40 lbs and trying to wake up to the world around me. I am a very serious person, but want to laugh more. I feel good when I laugh. But I feel very cheated sometimes in life. I lack a lot of self confidence and still feel like I dont fit in, sort of like high school. I want to be part of that "in crowd" but find myself questioning my motives for such desire. The real me is one who is bold, walks off the beaten path, one who would do anything for anyone else, recognizes the beauty in every person including thoise no one else seems to care about. The part of me that wants acceptance from everyone else seems so fake and rehearsed, saying things to impress others and even working my ass off just to try to lose weight and making sure I am wearing the latest fashion trends.
Anyway, today I felt like part of the in-crowd, but in a good way. At work there are a few people who like to joke around and play jokes on others. Being the butt of the joke also means you are accepted (sounds like high school???- worse, it is a dealership). Today I came back from lunch and was actually deep in thought reading a blog when somene came in my office and got really close to my back side and said "ooogly boogly" like 3 times. I screamed in that loud girly screechy voice, like when you see an ugly spider. Of course, about half my fellow workers heard and then everyone was roaring. This guy is the ultimate jokester of the place. Well, he got me good. And now my turn is next...paybacks are hell.
It was good to feel like part of that in crowd - even if I was the butt of the joke :)



