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I am known to be the jumpy sort of person.  I am known as a loner at work.  I have come out of my shell somewhat after shedding about 40 lbs and trying to wake up to the world around me.  I am a very serious person, but want to laugh more.  I feel good when I laugh.  But I feel very cheated sometimes in life.  I lack a lot of self confidence and still feel like I dont fit in, sort of like high school.  I want to be part of that "in crowd" but find myself questioning my motives for such desire.  The real me is one who is bold, walks off the beaten path, one who would do anything for anyone else, recognizes the beauty in every person including thoise no one else seems to care about. The part of me that wants acceptance from everyone else seems so fake and rehearsed, saying things to impress others and even working my ass off just to try to lose weight and making sure I am wearing the latest fashion trends. 
 
Anyway, today I felt like part of the in-crowd, but in a good way.  At work there are a few people who like to joke around and play jokes on others.  Being the butt of the joke also means you are accepted (sounds like high school???- worse, it is a dealership).  Today I came back from lunch and was actually deep in thought reading a blog when somene came in my office and got really close to my back side and said "ooogly boogly" like 3 times.  I screamed in that loud girly screechy voice, like when you see an ugly spider.  Of course, about half my fellow workers heard and then everyone was roaring.  This guy is the ultimate jokester of the place.  Well, he got me good.  And now my turn is next...paybacks are hell.
 
It was good to feel like part of that in crowd - even if I was the butt of the joke :)
 


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  • wombat said on Feb 09, 2007....
    I know what you mean.  I think this somehow ties into what goes on here in some way.  But you reminded me of something I had forgotten that was so funny.
     
    There was this guy at work that we all liked, but he moved like a snail with everything he did, and he had to have everything on his work station just so.  When he had his back turned we would sneak up and move everything around backwards, so that when he reached for an item it would be somewhere else.  I don't think we ever got tired of doing it, or he ever got mad.  One of those running jokes that make you "one of the crowd."
  • shortone said on Feb 09, 2007....
    That is too funny!  Actually, I am somewhat OCD so no one touches my desk.  I am IT too so no one messes with my computer.  If I lose a pen, which I do A LOT, I hunt for it on everyone's desk, accusing our salemen of stealing it.  It is a running joke at work to not take my pen, and don't touch my stuff.  We are getting ready to remodel our building and I forewarned everyone I was going to be a bitch for a couple of days because my "life" would be turned upside down with the move.  The reply was "We know, we are prepared for that!!" 
     
    I have worked at the same place for 15 years.  We partied together, got married (my DH was my co-worker's roommate), had kids and now the new generation has started coming in.  The older ones know and love me for who I am.  The younger ones, well, they make me reminisce a lot and wish I was 21 and could party every Tues-Sat night again sometimes (sigh).
     
  • wombat said on Feb 09, 2007....
    Uh-Oh.  I guess the poor guy had OCD.  But I still remember his sweet, forgiving smile.  So you used to party like that, too?  I remember going out to our favorite bar on Wed, Fri, and Sat, and sometimes Thurs if it was open.  We all hugged the radio for weather forcasts, afraid we would miss a night in the winter.  Back to the point--if you are there long enough, work people can be like family.  I still miss some people from a job I held for almost ten years.
  • shortone said on Feb 09, 2007....
    As far as the OCD thing, don't sweat it.  I was living w my boyfriend(now my husband) we had this nut bowl on  a coffee table.  I kept it in the exact middle and would move it if it was even slightly off center.  One day he had a friend over and said "watch this."  He slid the nut bowl about 3" to one side.  When I walked into the living room I moved the nut bowl without even thinking about it and sat down and started talking.  They laughed for a good ten minutes before explaining themselves.  I never realized I was that funny to them.  Unless they are bad OCD, most people just have to go with the flow and laugh at their oddities.  That is what makes all of us so unique.  Wouldnt the world be boring if we were all the same, with no flaws and had no "freak flags"???
     
    Yeah, I did party a lot.  But I was always the more responsible one.  I always went with a girlfriend to the latest and greatest bars(dance clubs were big when I partied).   And she was always the one that went home with the guy or I drove her and the newest flavor of the week back to her/his place.  I went home alone, but looking back I know I am better off.  Dont know what it is like now but back then there was ladies night and I drank for free most of the time (yeah!!).  Otherwise I could not afford to go out so much.  Sundays were rest/sleep days and Mondays were pretty boring bar scene nights.  The rest of the week we went out as much as our bodies would allow us.
     
    The people I work with are my family.  I left there twice only to return because I didn't fit in with others I worked with at my new job.  My job is so beneath what I am capable and I don't get paid very well.  But I come and go as I please and no one else knows how to do my job so I have that security.  I guess  you really do have to weigh what is more important to you - money really cant buy you happiness.  But I still wish I could grow a money tree :)
     
  • wombat said on Feb 09, 2007....
    shortone:  That is funny about the nut bowl, and you are right about people being unique and wonderful!  I have a touch of it--I count.  Like counting steps.  I also say the ABC's --don't even ask....
     
    On the partying-- I didn't drive at the time and never worried.  I should have been worrying about who was driving!  At that time (late 70's) I could borrow 5$ from my brother, pay $2.50 to get in, and buy cups of beer for 50 cents.  When I ran out of money, the guys I danced with, or my crowd, would buy me more.  What a time!  I was skinny then, wore hip-hugger jeans, halter tops, and danced barefoot.  (In the summer, anyway)  People used to hide my shoes at closing time.
     
    Wish I could come and go as I please at my job.  The main reason I am dreaming of being a writer.  Money can't buy happiness, but it sure can fix a few things along the way.

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