• MissMimi said on Feb 05, 2007....

  Let me get this straight. Your husband asked you how many men you've been with, you told him, and he called you a whore? Your husband? That was a rotten thing for him to do, HH.

  Hindsight being what it is, yes, maybe you shouldn't have told him, but I understand why you did.  I probably would have done the same thing.   

• MsBradford07 said on Feb 05, 2007....

  No, you were not wrong. It just that fact that he couldn't handle the fact that you've had more partners. Having more partners than your man does not make you a whore.

• silverwhisper said on Feb 05, 2007....

  it means your husband is an immature little boy, HH. and i'm sorry to put it that bluntly, but it's the simple truth.
  
  ed

• husbandhater said on Feb 05, 2007....

  MissMimi thanks. True Ms.B and lmao at ed I think i've seen this for a couple of months now. The reality is just took its time traveling to my head.lol 

• yani said on Feb 05, 2007....

  No it wasn't wrong to share. In the first place, he asked.

  He shoulldn't have, if he couldn't take. He's full of shit. I"m sorry.

   

• genalonewolf said on Feb 05, 2007....

  What was he really looking for? You to be a nun in the past and you gave it up for him? Shallow maybe? Brenneelee told me once that if you don't want the truth or answer, don't ask the question.
  You need a person to see you for who you are and not how many men you have been with in the past. You need someone to love you unconditionaly and show you passion. Anything less should be beneath you sweetheart and thats the truth. Look for him.

• sweetsoul said on Feb 05, 2007....

  I think that's the price we all pay by being in an intimate relationship. We make ourselves vulnerable, trusting that our loved one won't take advantage of us.  Unfortunately, sometimes we're proven wrong.

• husbandhater said on Feb 05, 2007....

  Well spoken sweetsoul. Yani don't be sorry its o.k. we all have harsh truths and he is mines. Gena wish you were available.
   
   
  Hey wait nobody's sharing theres got to be something. I'm not the only one with a spouse or s.o. to overreact to somehting. Share, Share come on you could do it.

• sweetsoul said on Feb 05, 2007....

  HH some of us have ex husbands for good reason. Too long ago to comment.

• CreativeWoman said on Feb 05, 2007....

  He must be really insecure, HH.  You answered honestly.  If he can't handle the truth, he shouldn't ask the question.
  
  CW
  

• genalonewolf said on Feb 06, 2007....

  I wish I could help you more. You sound like a beautiful person. You need to be put on a pedastal and drenched in kindness and love. I know it sounds a little corny but it should be true. Is there any passion in your relationship with this man? Does he still hold your hand? Does he consider the small things like the way you feel about the wat you look? Does he make you a snack when you are hungry. Does he pleasure you first? Does he talk to you, not about anything in particular but just talk? Do you get a kiss when you come home from work? And one of the biggest is does he let you hold the remote control?
  Do you see where i am going with this?

• shichi said on Feb 06, 2007....

  I learned through experience to always state if i choose to answer a question,
  to ask are you sure you want to hear the answer.....after all neither my life nor yours started the moment i met "you"....
   
  that brought to mind a long relationship i had with a significant other...my first name starts with the letter "S"... when we would be in conversation with someone and he would say remember  S... so many times i stated sorry that is BS ... BEFORE "S".
   
  my comment often raised eyebrows till everyone got used to my BS comment

• zer0ne said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Hahaa...even i suffered sumthing like this recently..and thats y i started blogging...my girl asked me to tell her everything bout my past...and when i did..she got mad at me...so vr pretty much in da same situation :)
  juss an advice...dont choose to ignore ur hubby...the way i did ...i decided to quit speakin to my gal..and..the result...a few sad blogs on SC..to wich..nobody seems to comment on
  

• missunderstood1162 said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Between couples this seems to be a sticking point sometimes and the older I've gotten the more stupid this is to me.   He should never have asked a question like that if he couldn't handle the answer.  If he didn't want to know your number he shouldn't have asked you what it was. 
   
  And you can't tell me that he has told you every single thing he's done with every single person.   I call bullshit on that...hahaha none of us are that honest about everything we've done.  Or most of us at least.
   
  It's true.  Our lives don't start the moment we meet (well that chapter does) but you know what I mean.  We all have baggage and we all have things in our past.  Some more than others.  That makes you no less  than him. 
   
  Hold your head up your not a whore.  I hate that he made you feel that way.

• MissMimi said on Feb 06, 2007....

  I have shared things I was sorry I did. My husband does the opposite of yours, HH. When I say something he doesn't like, he just shuts down. Most often, I get no response. None.

• gingersoul said on Feb 06, 2007....

  HHater......you did right.......you have been honest......that is what we are supposed to do with our partner, isn'it? The fact he reacted in that childish and immature way only shows how insecure he was feeling and how very little he was considering the fact that after all you migth have slept with the whole Us Marine Corps but you have married HIM.......

  Luckily my partners always reacted well to my "numbers"...actually....they were even asking me to be detailed with my past experiences.....my ex husband showed a great deal of self confidence about it considering that the difference between my numbers and his was quite.... considerable....:-) 

• kruuyai said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Why do guys always have to ask this question?  I find it very off putting.  It's like they're trying to set you up for something.  Anyway, who can honestly remember how many?  But if you say you can't remember, well then, they just draw their own conclusions, don't they?

• sidhe said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Men do seem to ask this more than women.  Part of the fragile ego thing perhaps?   I did that with my second husband, and learned the hard way never to do it again.  He's an ex husband now, go figure.
   
  And I even lied and lowered the number.  I don't know how many men I've had sex with.  That can be off-putting to a man who's only had sex with a handfull of women. :(  I can understand the insecurity but I certainly don't condone it.
   
  Any husband who can call his wife a whore needs seriously to be hit over the head with a cast iron frying pan.   Or to have some councelling.  It shows a lack of respect for you that is unhealthy.

• mommyof2 said on Feb 06, 2007....

  I've never told neither has he, guessing he has a ton more cuz he's a ton older

• bloc said on Feb 06, 2007....

  sw is right. This shouldn't be a problem for a mature man. 

• gingersoul said on Feb 06, 2007....

  I disagree....its not only men who asks for numbers, believe me.

  I know that many of my girlfriends happened to ask about The Number during their relationships....i certaintly did it too...

  for me its just a natural step in trying to know a partner better...where he cames from, what he found interesting and attractive before me.....its not for making comparison....but i think why shouldn't i ask?...i am curious about less important things in his past (vacations, movies, songs, jobs) why should i stop with sex?

  But i agree that only f you have a good self esteem you can handle some answers.....HHater's husband is definetely not in that category.....and how he dares to call you a whore?

• mom said on Feb 07, 2007....

  I know what you do and he  will thank you for it. Next time he bends over grease up the fist and ram it into his ass all the way up to the elbow and then tell him, well you are one up on me cause I ain't ever been fist fucked before twiddledick.
   
  My current husband knows and never called me a whore.  I told him right aff the bat, if you could put side by side all the men, you could circle the earth ohhhhhh I bet about 12 times.  He is not good in math so he doesn't know how much that is. :)

• purrrkitten said on Feb 09, 2007....

  Only an immature and controlling person would ask a question like that and then use it against the woman he supposedly 'loves'. You don't treat someone you love like that unless you're an abusive jerk. He uses it like a weapon.

  My DH doesn't know how many I've been with, nor I him. It doesn't matter. The past is the past and that's where it belongs. Besides, as far as I'm concerned, it makes him (and me!) a better lover because he knows where he's going and what he's doing. As he's proved time and again...

  If he ever called me a whore, I'd walk right out that door so fast with the kids that he wouldn't know me for a stiff wind.

• ChanceFavorsjames49 said on Mar 22, 2007....

  Yes, you were wrong.  Whether he asked or not, it's not too much to expect you to know better.  I suspect you knew he didn't really want to know, and deep down you knew it would fuck with him.

• silverwhisper said on Mar 23, 2007....

  not everyone's that immature, james.
  
  ed

• lisamay said on Oct 29, 2007....

  You do have to be careful at times .. telling the truth is not always the right thing to do or the best thing.
  I liked the suggestion of asking the person if they are sure they want the answer.
  
  and a question like that can be like ...
  "are you still beating your wife"
  
  i would not answer the question unless i knew what the response would be in advance :)
  
  lisa
  

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