• MissMimi said on Feb 02, 2007....

  How about a change in position? Have hubby lie on the bed and you can kneel at right angles to him or between his legs? Being on all fours would be very physically uncomfortable to me. Other than the position, what else do you feel you don't do well? I know you don't want to talk to him, but really, yani, that's the best way to find out what would really do it for him. I know if my partner asked me what specifically would turn me on, that I'd be happy that he cared enough about my pleasure to ask.
  I wish I could be of more help. My husband is one of those rare men who aren't really into BJs that much.

• petitepapillon said on Feb 03, 2007....

  Ok, so I'm not going to be much help, but I just wanted to tag this and see what others have to say because I'm having the same problem with The Boyfriend.

• queenparanoia said on Feb 03, 2007....

  hmmmm. i never gave one before so i dunno what to say. practice makes perfect as they say. so maybe you could practice with some objects like a banana or a hotdog! LOL.

• secretlife said on Feb 03, 2007....

  yani:  there are so many books out there now with diagrams on all of the different ways a woman can make love to her man with her hands and mouth.
   
  Ultimate Guide to Oral Sex:How To Give a Man Mind Blowing Pleasure
  by Jane Phillips
   
  You Want me to do What?  An Illustrated Book on the Joys of Fellatio; Explicit Techniques by Taylor
   
  The Pocket Idiots Guide to Oral Sex - Ava Candell
   
  I like the books with diagrams.  they show you not only ways to position yourself, but ways to use your hands and mouth as well.
   
  good luck.....and have fun.  most books will tell you first, that you need to have the right mindset to give good head.
   
   

• genalonewolf said on Feb 03, 2007....

  I am no expert on the subject being male hinders that for me, but when my girl had problems I suggested learning from a proffesional! Now don't laugh but I had her rent or buy some porno directed towards this subject and after a few trials and errors she found her niche and all is good in the southland!!

• susalia said on Feb 03, 2007....

  wow me myself i hate doing it so i have stopped i told my husband that if he wants it done to go elsewhere but i am good at it. It just really disgust me to do it and i cant and wont so if you dont want to do it because you dont feel comfortable then dont and he is your husband talk to him about it and tell him why..

• sweetsoul said on Feb 03, 2007....

  Some good advice here. Different positions....read to learn...attitude is key...ask him what he likes. Not sure there is much more to say than that...but let me try.
   
  I've heard that some men find a woman's enthusiasm and passion for the task at hand almost as important as her technique. I know I get a good response from a man when I cum giving him a BJ.
   
  Like we say about women...all men are different. They like different techniques...places to touch...amount of pressure to use...whether they see it as foreplay or the end 'product'...and I hear there are some men that don't enjoy a BJ at all (though I've never found one). Means if you want to be really good...for your man..you're going to have to communicate with him.
   
  oh and enjoy :D
   
   
   
   

• copsunited said on Feb 03, 2007....

  "Everything you ever wanted to know about sex"
   
  A book written and published some 35 years ago is still
  the best source of information you'll ever find.
   
  Not only does it give the Written  description but illustrations as well..
   
  well worth the money..

• copsunited said on Feb 03, 2007....

  The entire title is : Everything You Ever Wanted to know about sex: but were afraid to ask.
   
  I think the authors name is ruben or stuben..or something like that.
   
  It is out of print but Barnes and Nobel books has used copies available
  at a reasonable price. Excellant  book

• husbandhater said on Feb 03, 2007....

  69 but that would still involve getting on all fours. At least you'd be getting some too.  They all love the B.J. darling. Deep throat him. Lay down flat on your stomach and stick out your tounge, swallow it whole and suck as you come up on it. or you could take your hand and work the bottom as you suck the top. Nibble on the head stuff like that. Have him stand up and do it like this if him laying down is a problem. Sit on the edge of the bed with him standing and unzip him and start going at it and he'll get very turned on. I'm no expert either but the hubby likes it.
  Every man is not the same just like every woman isn't so ask  the hubby what feels good while your doing it. Give himm the sexy look and after you come off his stuff ask him in your sexiest voice do you like when I do that?
  I promise you if you don't get a sigh or a oh yea baby you'll get a little more to the left please or I like when you go this far but not the whole way.

• gingersoul said on Feb 03, 2007....

  Yani......i am sorry.....at first i smiled when i read your blog..then i realized that you were really asking for serious advices.....

  well, beside books that are plenty available anywhere (bookstore or internet), beside porno movies or reading erotica (here at SC there is plenty of it too)....

  truth is you are on your own....its not only a matter of tecnique.....you have to really like what you are doing...

  a man can be satisfied by any out of passion bj anytime...but if you feel something is not quite right...then you are the problem...meaning...you have to be honest with yourself....maybe you simply dont like doing them..its not a crime..its a personal sexual preference...that you should be able to direct to your hubby and see how he is feeling about it..

  men don't like to ask for it most of the time..they love a woman who likes to do it...because they feel that doing it a woman is really  into them...but if your boyfriend loves you he will understand and find a way to have fun otherwise... 

  my suggestion...tonight...give your boy the surprise of his life...make him relax, put on some music, candles and the whole vavoomm.... and just have fun....

  there is no wrong motion, no wrogn licking, no wrong squeezing...he will tell you if something you do is hurting or what you do that he really likes...turn it in a fun sex game....have simply fun....

  its all there...good luck...

• copsunited said on Feb 03, 2007....

  DELICATE QUESTION HERE:...Um one thing to give wonderful
  head..(BJ) some of the best I've ever had was by someone I still
  dream of..
   
  Oh..got carried away.. the question is: Does he do the same for you?
  Is he patient and explores the breasts with his tongue? Does he trace
  your body with his lips and tongue?
  Does he pause and go to your feet.? Giving each one a tender massage
  and kiss? then the Knees?? Knees need lots of attention as well as the
  inside of the thighs. does he patiently trace the outline of your Venus mound with
  his tongue? Lazy but with interest?? When he finally finds the clit does he take
  time to massage it with his tongue until you are bucking like a horse in heat against his face??
   
  Hey..if NONE of that takes place..even ONE time a month..fucking forget the
  head job..that's a bonus..and WE men know that...gotta take time..
   
  Love yas JD

• anonymous said on Feb 03, 2007....

  Wow.  This is interesting.  Personally I don't have a problem going down there.  Here's a question.  Have you both recently showered and does he let you do it yourself without him helping by pushing on your head?  These would be key questions (don't laugh everyone!)  Both of those things if they are not handled properly can cause me some disdain.  Men who push on women's heads during oral sex are not going to get the best results from their women.  Believe me.  Angry women who are gagging are not good at giving head. 
   
  Have your guy take a shower with you or you can both shower whatever.  Mmm that's the best.  Freshly showered.  I don't know what else I can tell you without giving away all my secrets (on line no less)  Try doing it kneeling between his legs not on all fours.  Maybe on a cushion.  For my partner and I it's all about play and foreplay and pleasure.  He lets me take everything at my own pace and the more I can relax and do things my way, the better it gets.  I make it my GOAL to see where I can take him on the pleasure scale.  Up, down, back up, way up...you know.  It's fun.  Sexy.  Hot. 
   
  Is any of this making sense?  Also if you have anything in your past that makes you uncomfortable at all about the act of oral sex with a man maybe you should seek out someone to talk to about the subject.  I find that most of my women friends either detest, hate or loathe giving head while I find it extremely sexy and hot.  No I'm not a nympho.  Try to make love to his little friend.  With your mouth.  There I've said it.  Make it your only goal.   You'll see him respond.  I promise you.

• mommyof2 said on Feb 03, 2007....

  I know how but other half is fuckin huge and the hoody great for allowing it more space to get bigger also makes it stink!!!

• midnightman said on Feb 03, 2007....

  Make sure you cover your teeth with your lips, the one thing that feels very uncomfortable is teeth, Happy heading!  MM

• nytquill17 said on Feb 03, 2007....

  I don't know how well this will sit with you or if it will make you feel upset, but I find it very comfortable with him sitting on the bed or sofa and me kneeling on the floor (on a pillow) facing him.
  
  It's a bit less comfortable on the neck but perhaps easier on the psyche to lay down next to him but opposite (your head towards his feet, your feet towards his head) prop yourself up on your elbows and just kind of lean over a bit to reach the pertinent area.
  
  As for technique...literotica.com has a how-to section with reader-submitted articles and I'm sure there are plenty on this subject, so you'll get lots of different people's takes on it.  My advice is lots of tongue motion, moderate suction, and watch the teeth.  Take breaks if you feel the need, because it can get pretty uncomfortable for the giver (this is normal and doesn't mean there's something wrong with you!) and it adds a little suspense for him if he has to wait a minute.  Try to mix up several different moves - I once read it put this way: just because a penis is bigger than a clitoris doesn't mean that it doesn't need just as much variety in stimulation.  Also, figure out if he likes to watch (a lot of guys do and it's a huge turn-on for them) or even help (i.e. guide you in some way or another).
  
  Chances are that the sexiest thing to him is you.  So don't fake it, but go ahead and act like the vixen he knows you are!  Squirm, make noise, talk in a sexy voice, take control if he likes that sort of thing.  Atmosphere adds a lot to the experience ;)
  
  And don't be afraid to run to the sink afterwards if you don't like to swallow!  It used to put me off and I would avoid doing it - I loved the act but hated the ending.  Until I gave myself permission to be a little uncouth and spit instead; that one detail made the whole process more enjoyable for me :)
  
  I hope you don't think I sound bossy!  Just sharing what I've learned from my experiences - and these are just one girl's experiences so take it all with a grain of salt! :)
  

• ALIENated said on Feb 03, 2007....

  69 maybe each on your side. There is no way to mess it up however you do it. Believe me.

• yani said on Feb 04, 2007....

  WOW!

   

  After reading all what you have to say I figured the problem is mostly in what SL refer to as the right mind set. Somehow I feel uncomfortable doing it. Making love with the hubby is wonderful, but I also dread the moment when he would whisper such a request. I know I can always say no Susalia, but I don’t want him to go and find it somewhere else, even when I know he’ll understand if I do say no. The hubby is just so good at foreplays, so Cops there’s absolutely no reason for me not to give him something which I know he really likes. He loves my toes Cops J.

   

  Anyway, ALIEN thank you for appeasing my doubts  by saying there’s no way to mess it up J but I want to do better. Ginger, it took some time for me to munch on whether to post this particular subject or not. I did not think people will somehow take it seriously and comment. So since it’s already here and I’ve got some very helpful advises, I’m really going to try. I will try the books which most of you suggested, though I doubt I will have the guts to bring it to the counter to pay. I will try.

   

  Queen I don’t think I will do much practice with the banana LOL! I will practice with the hubby and see where it gets me. I will be careful with the teeth, too Midnight. And HH, you are not bossy, you are very helpful. Uhmmmmm….. won’t I choke and suffocate while deep throating him? I don’t want to end up on the front page saying I died of that cause LOL!

   

  Sweetsoul and MissMimi, if all else fails < I hope not> I will really have that talk with the husband. Mostly, I will really have to talk to myself. Nytquill, my inhibitions, I think, has something to do with how, during all my growing up years, my grandmother would lectured me on how good women are supposed to behave. And I don’t think giving a great blow job is on her list J I truly doubt that.

   

  Thanks to all Soulcasters!

• fucked_up_girl said on Feb 04, 2007....

  oh my gosh... hahaha... you know what my dear, i was never good at that too. hahaha! hmmm... oh no... hmmm... oh by the way im not gonna tell you to talk to your hubby... hmmm... how to get better at that??? hmmm... oh i have no idea... im sorry my dear... but don't worry... we share the same sentiment... *wink*

• D6fer said on Feb 05, 2007....

  I am suprised more men werent putting their 2 cents in on this one!
  Position is important! Especially if you want to get it over with! LOL
  Have him lay on his back with his head propped up so he can watch..You be between his legs looking into his eyes....if you look like you are enjoying it, you'll blow his mind...not to mention the obvious! keep your tongue on the underside of his cock sliding it back and forth as you suck. Suck like your trying to drink a thick shake or something. Doesnt have to be fast...just pay attention to what he responds to. Tease a little, maybe kiss it a little first. Take just the head in at first, take it out a few times before you really go down on it. Good luck girls! ;)

• yani said on Feb 05, 2007....

  FUG join the club. We are rolling here :)

  D6fer, that was very clear. I will definitely try that. Thanks!

   

• petitepapillon said on Feb 06, 2007....

  FUG ~ Ditto what yani said. Hence the reason why I tagged this one, just so I can read and learn. ; )

• yani said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Hellow petite, we do have enough to start along, don't you think?  :)

• petitepapillon said on Feb 06, 2007....

  Yani ~ Oh yes, I think we do. : )

• yani said on Feb 06, 2007....

  WAY TO GO!

• copsunited said on Feb 12, 2007....

  
  I'm still anxious to here of the outCUM.
  I mean gees..did you swallow. Spit or let it drizzle all over
  his tummy.
  Um..I have to tell you this tho..cum breath is HORRIBLE...
  rinse your mouth out with industrial strength ajax first..honest..ewwwww.

• yani said on Feb 12, 2007....

  LOL Cops!

  I let it drizzle all over. I don't even like the smell :(

  But, I guess I was great at it :)  thanks a lot guys!

  We're both looking forward to a repeat..........

• botoni said on Feb 27, 2007....

  Whoa.....I m way late at reading this.  No one here has given you the information from the point of view that I have.  Thats because I both love to give and love to receive a very enjoyable bj. 
   
  Try these techniques if you want to continue experimenting:
   
  Everbody has been right on when they tell you that enthusiasm is a big big factor.  You get major points for looking like you enjoy what your doing.
  Try licking him like you would an ice cream cone.
  Bonus points if you give some attention to his sac at while your in the neighborhood.
  Try just fondling his tesicles with one hand while blowing air on his glans........makes him super sensitive.
  Worried about the taste....get playful...smear him with honey (or the confection of your choice) and lick up paying great attention to what your doing.
  He ll love it if you take just his glans in your mouth and swirl your tongue around it like you are rolling a grape in your mouth.
  Another intersting variation......keep your mouth wide open while on the downward stroke, close your lips and draw slowly and sensually upward.  Make a popping sound as you come off the end.
  Do the tongue swirl trick while stroking him with one hand.
  Wet a couple fingers and tantalize one of his nipples while you re blowing him....even pinch it a bit....you ll be able to tell by his response how much pressure he likes.
  Add to his and your pleasure by letting your breasts or your nipple graze against his thighs.
  Most of all......have fun a playfully enjoy.......and EXPECT AT LEAST EQUAL PLEASURE FROM HIM......................

• yani said on Feb 28, 2007....

  geez Botoni are you trying to drive me crazy? hahahahaha
   
  those ideas are great, oh mi goat!  {{ fans myself }}
   
  thanks!  toodles!  :)

Comment on "BJ"

Currently tagged	BJ For Adults position changes sex seeking experience hate bj All you ever wanted to know Hate it but they love the BJ know how (Click to add tags below)
Tag this post	(Separate tags using commas, for example: New York, dating, vegetarian)
Your comment
	Comment Anonymously