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I feel kind of melancholy today.  It's a common emotion for me if you read my blog with any regularity.  Sometimes I wake up in this state.  Sometimes it begins after interaction with my husband.

I'm trying to put mind over matter.

My freedom from this life I've mistakenly chosen with my husband is worth waiting for.  I've made the decision to leave.  You that read me have seen me slowly come to this realization.

I am worth waiting for me.

It will take time.  I have more internal decisions to wrestle with.  I have to set myself up financially.  I have to decide the how.  I think I may be a little closer to that. 

I've been checking out online businesses like a maniac with the Better Business Bureau.  I have found one that I like.  It's been in business for over 10 years and has had no complaints filed against it within the last three years.  It is supposed to have low start-up costs.  I've talked to a rep.  Samples and an information packet or on their way.

Why an online business?  The answer is simple to me.  I feel tethered here.  I want freedom and flexibility.  I've lived in the same general area all my life.  If I decide to wander somewhere else, I will take my job with me and go.  I really will live the rest of my life.  I won't be waiting for tomorrow.

I am smart. I can do this.

Sure, there are scams out there.  There are real opportunities too.  There's no reason I can't be a success wherever in the world I choose to be.

Then the melancholy days will be fewer and farther between.

CW


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Comments

  • Alyss said on Jan 30, 2007....
    Woo Hoo CW!!!

    Baby steps, just keep on taking those baby steps and we can both find our freedom.
  • silverwhisper said on Jan 30, 2007....
    i'm greatly cheered to see you taking this step for yourself, CW.

    ed
  • mobil said on Jan 30, 2007....
    CW; I can only offer that you might want to get your online business rolling
    along pretty well before taking the plunge.
     
    By assuring yourself and securing yourself first, you allow for a much better
    shot at the rest of your life being happy and content.
     
    I was very successful in business, I wish you all the best with yours and
    with happiness too
  • kruuyai said on Jan 30, 2007....
    I always like to see people taking charge of their lives.  It may feel scary at first, especially if you've been dependent on someone else for a long time, but you really can do it, and life could turn out to be better than you could have ever imagined.  Don't look back! 
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 30, 2007....
    Alyss,
    Yes, baby steps to freedom. :-)

    ed,
    Thanks.  Coming to this decision has been hard.

    mobil,
    That's my plan.  I want it to be up and running so I can see its actual earnings before I do anything drastic.  That's why I say it will take time.

    Do you mind me asking what kind of business you were successful in?

    kruuyai,
    I have been dependent for far too long.  I have started to feel like a servant, not an equal.  That has to change.

    CW


  • beyondtheveil said on Jan 30, 2007....
    I'm glad to hear you are doing it in the right way. And you seem to have the confidence. Good luck, CW.
  • secretlife said on Jan 30, 2007....
    CW:  i like your plan.  and i believe in you.
  • bloc said on Jan 30, 2007....
    good luck! This may help with online money making. Making money independently online isn't easy, but it can be done and can generate a lot of money :)
  • MissMimi said on Jan 30, 2007....
    You inspire me, CW. I wish you the very best. {{{hug}}}
  • yani said on Jan 30, 2007....
                    I'm with you CW. I know it has taken you a longggg time to finally reach this decision. Being dependent on someone else for far too long is really not good for anyone. I know everything will be better from here............ it's gonna take time but it's gonna be definitely better :)
  • mobil said on Jan 30, 2007....
    I was in the trucking business CW, nothing online. Trucks and drivers, kind
    of a harddrive business........lol
     
    I was able to retire early in life, enjoy the fruits of my labor. I wish you the
    same sucess or better CW.
  • lioneljay said on Jan 30, 2007....
    Go for it, CW. And if you ever need any help with online practicalities, you know you can call on me for whatever I know that might be useful to you.
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 30, 2007....
    beyond,
    Thank you.  I do feel better about it.  Now I need to implement.

    secret,
    Thank you so much.  Having a plan sort of gives me peace.  I feel like I'll be ok on my own.

    bloc,
    I may share some details after I get going.  Thanks for the link.  I'll check it out.

    Mimi,
    You are sweet. Thank you.

    yani,
    I'm going to take my time and do it right for my best interests.  It's going to be all about me.

    mobil,
    :-D   I grew up as a little grease monkey around trucks.  My dad still has his own truck.  Small world.

    CW
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 30, 2007....
    lionel,

    Thank you.  I'm sure I'll take you up on that.  :-)

    CW
  • RollingC said on Jan 30, 2007....
    Good for you CW. Good luck with your business and I hope your wishes get fulfilled.
  • ALIENated said on Jan 30, 2007....
    I am torn. I do not like to see marriages go bad. However, if you feel there is no going forward, then I think you have to do what you have to do. My parents loved each other, but they were not compatible. Breaking up was the best thing they ever did. I even understood that and I was just a teen.
  • Zayda said on Jan 30, 2007....
    CW--I am glad to see you are forming a plan and making these baby steps.  I wish you much success in your endeavors.  
  • gingersoul said on Jan 31, 2007....

    CW....i am not surprised...i felt , like anybody who was reading you careful, that the moment was very close.

    Well, the moment is arrived. And you are actually making plans for the future...

    I wish you less and less melancholy in your days.......you are inspiring...{{hugs}} 

  • mom said on Jan 31, 2007....
    I hope you will find peace and happiness.  We are always here, ya know. :)
  • moonriver said on Jan 31, 2007....
    moonriver confucius agree: cw is worth waiting for cw. 12 kowtows, and 100 rounds of fireworks for lunar new year.

  • shichi said on Jan 31, 2007....
    Best of luck to you CW..
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 31, 2007....
    Rc,
    I hope so too.

    ALIEN,
    It's sad.  My husband is perfectly happy with me.  I just can't find happiness for me.  I've tried really hard.  I just can't.  I can see where my future is headed with him and it's not anything to look forward to.

    Zayda,
    At least I'm trying...

    ginger,
    I think I whine more than I inspire. :-)  I have realized that I will be bitter in my later years if I don't take steps to change the direction I'm headed.  I know I won't be able to leave over night. I'll take calculated steps toward what I want.  It makes sticking here a little easier when I know I'm working toward a goal.

    mom,
    Thank you.  I know you will be. :-)

    moon,
    Thank you.  If you only knew how much I LOVE fireworks...  :-D

    shichi,
    Thank you.

    CW
  • Alyss said on Jan 31, 2007....
    CW I think making the plan is very important. I am also planning, such changes require careful preparation and whilst there's a desire to 'just get on with it' it is wise to cross all the 't's and dot all the 'i's before you make any irrevocable steps.
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 31, 2007....
    Alyss,
    That's very good advice.  I know that this plan of mine could take a year or so to see if it will really work.  At least I have something to pin some hopes and dreams on for a while.

    I'm not going to run out the door today or a month from now.  I will wait for the right time.

    CW
  • writerspirit said on Jan 31, 2007....

    I too, wish you luck CW.

    It's far better to make changes while you can than to keep beating your head against the wall. I know far too many people who stayed together for the children, or out of fear. It is rarely the right choice.

    Take your time and do all the things you've always wanted to do, for you!

    Writerspirit :D 

  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 31, 2007....
    writerspirit,
    Thank you for being supported.

    CW
  • purrrkitten said on Feb 02, 2007....
    Fantastic, CW. I'm so glad that you've chosen. You are wise to get yourself grounded before leaping out. I admire that. We all here cheering for you, sweetie, and we'll be waiting to congratulate your success with whatever business you choose!  ((((((((((((CW))))))))))))    ~^^
  • CreativeWoman said on Feb 04, 2007....
    purr,

    Thank you.  I think I'm going to have an announcement soon about the business end of things.  I think I've decided on that too.  :-)

    CW
  • Zayda said on Feb 04, 2007....
    CW--Oh, honey, I meant baby steps as a good thing.  I think doing this slowly is the best thing for you.  It gives you time to prepare, time to set yourself up financially.  And starting a new business venture while working to close a different chapter of your life can be taxing, especially emotionally. 

    And Lord knows, CW, you have been through enough emotionally.  It's good to see you growing stronger and coming out of your shell and embracing that strength you do have.  It's very good to see you recognizing that strength--and you are stronger than you realize CW. 

    I'm excited about seeing your business get off the ground.


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