I’ve been thinking quite a bit recently about ‘claiming behaviours’ and the manner and context in which they take place.
As a parent I claimed my children, my
actions helped make them mine. I chose their names, I decide what clothes they
will wear, how their hair is styled, what things are acceptable behaviours in
my home, in my family and I am instilling the values I believe in rather than
those of another. And now they even smell the same as me…
As a home owner I have claimed my space.
The furniture is arranged to my liking, the colours and fabrics are my choice,
that vase is placed just so, those curtains tied back, the kitchen is arranged
to my liking and I know that my things are here with me, where I want them.
But there are other instances where
claiming behaviour plays its role. That of lovers and that is what has been
keeping my mind preoccupied these last few days.
There are those romantic gifts, those
clothes that he or she might not otherwise have worn had you not given them,
those foods to share, a piece of jewellery perhaps that signifies ‘taken’ and
of course the ultimate symbol of claiming the wedding ring.
And yet my mind is contemplating other
areas where claiming behaviour might take place, the scenarios that could be
played out as lovers mark their territory and I can’t help but wonder if these
behaviours are influenced by whether or not one believes the right to make that claim
exists…
That secret kiss, the love bite where
no-one except you might see it, the marking with ejaculate and other bodily
fluids are all actions that scream ‘mine!’ and, of course, there’s the physical
act of union through sex, a powerful statement of claiming and being claimed.
Are these more pronounced when the
legitimacy of that claim is perhaps not as strong as one might like or do they
simply occur no matter what the circumstances?
So what are your thoughts? What experiences of claiming have you had? Am I obsessing over nothing?
