I was reading Rockerchic's post about her girlfried hangin out with her mostly because she wanted gather info about her ex. She said she was feeling used.
I was at this gas station time ago. Alone. I saw this car approaching and a girl getting out of it. She looked in distress. She was nicely dressed and i noticed a guy was seating in the passenger seat. She came to me sheepingly smiling and she said she was very embarassed but she didnt have money with her and neither her friend and her car was empty. She asked me if i would agree to pump some gas in her car. She asked for $5 of gas. The necessary to reach her home.
I didn't think twice and i said yes. I charged my card and put the gas for her. She thanked me so genuinely that i felt good of having helped her. The guy didin't even turn his head.
When i told the story to my friend J. she told me i havd been way too naive, unfortunately. "What made you believe she was as desperate as she told you? She migth as well done this trick to hundreds of people and never used her money for gas".
I knew it could have been possible. Did i feel used? Well, i had a 50% chancethere so i indeed had been used.
People does this. If they are in need but also if they are not. Some pople are wired by personal experience to use other people, some people are wired to be used by them. People screw up people even when they have the opportunity of not doing it.
I think the awareness toward this human nature, being attuned to other people real intentions, seeing the real goal of their action comes to some only from personal mistakes. They say "You fool me once you have the blame. You fool me twice i am the stupid".
In our life we can be be separated in "user" and "used" ....
even though we can easily shift from one category to the other one, depending by the circumnstances... a user might became a used..... Being a used doesn't mean you have to remain in this position forever.
Is it possible the some people simply smell who has the tendency to be a geneorus, enthusiastic, trusting, helping person?
I dont paint myslef as extremely naive. But i have been used several times in my life. In one occasion very badly. It happened in my professional area.
Do we allow others to use us?
I like to think that that night at the gas station i decided that, being in doubt, i would not have felt good walking away from that girl. Because: what if she really was in need?
I chose to be labeled naive. Better than cold heart, i guess. But in other occasion we are just simply,brutally, cruelly used.... we seem not having the possibility to choose a different way....
My question is: do you feel in you life you have a tendency to be a user or a used?
Or you have been both? Did you ever intentionally used somebody else for your goals? How bad have you been used?
If i would ask for money one day at some gas station...would you fill my car?
