I've been thinking about creating a blog for a while now.  It gets to the point where your family and friends are sick to death of hearing all your petty grievances, self obsessed anxieties and paranoid conspiracy theories.  Even if no one writes back, someone may sympathise or take comfort that they are not alone when experiencing painful and humiliating situations.

 

So, I know my name is a total rip-off of that Ugly Betty sitcom (which I haven't actually seen yet because I live Down Under) but I have been called ugly my whole life.  Whether I like it or not, I feel a resonance with the title.  And this brings me to the point of my maiden blog.

 

Last night my partner and I went to a friends house party.  The theme was the 1980s, so try to imagine a lot of shiny, big clothing, bright make-up and fuzzy hair.  The party also incorporated karaoke, and after quite a few bottles of beer my friends and I grabbed the microphones.  Of course, the more you drink the better you think your vocal ability is.  As I belted out a tune, a guest unbeknownst to me proceeded to tell me how terrible my voice is.  A fair call too - I can barely even hold the tune to Happy Birthday.  However, throughout the night this guy kept harassing me and we ended up having a verbal argument in the loungeroom.  After I had deflated his ego some, I thought it was the end of our contact and I happily left him to sing on his own.  As we were standing in the hallway at the end of the night, waiting for a cab and saying goodbye to our hosts, the guy came up to me and said something smart.  I honestly cannot remember what he said, but I said to him "What's your problem man?".  He replied, "I wouldn't have such a problem if you weren't so ugly."  At that point, I lost all reason, wound my arm back and punched him in the face.  His one comment opened the floodgates of my memory, and every painful insult and snide remark regarding my physical appearance materialised in the form of his smarmy, arrogant face. 

 

Was I justified in punching him?  Probably not.  Was he justified in calling me ugly?  Definitely not.  There are certainly some people who are less physically attractive than others - I am one of them - but to label us ugly is to imply something inherently different and unacceptable both physically and mentally.  Maybe you are thinking that anyone capable of attacking another is in fact ugly in every sense of the word.  My action did lead to my partner becoming involved in a nasty scuffle, and left a sour note on an otherwise very enjoyable night.  But I ask you to remember that this guy had been needling at me all night, and further, he was a complete stranger to me.  I don't believe that anyone, and especially not someone unknown to you, has the right to label you in a derogatory manner.

 

I'm not going to preach that beauty is on the inside, or not to judge a book by it's cover, because these are concepts that some will never understand.  Instead, I ask you to think of the damage labels such as 'ugly' can cause, and caution you against judging anyone before you've taken the time to actually get to know them.  I guess this little rant on ugliness is intended to make others aware that ugliness is not a crime, and you don't have to accept the title just because someone else thinks you are less attractive than the ideals in thier head.