So here I am minding my own business, innocently looking for some music to put on the turntable while I blog away.
I stumbled upon an LP that I had forgotten I even had.
The Way to Become the Sensuous Woman. Oh. My. God. This is a record I got from a well-meaning room mate in college. I have never ever listened to the whole thing.
Well, I have it on now. It's very hard to type and blush and giggle at the same time. Right now I'm learning how to give a blow job, the script being read by a breathless female voice. She's encouraging me to cover my man's penis with whipped cream, chocolate sauce and shredded coconut, and then lick it all off, at which time he's supposedly going to erupt into an amazing orgasm of gigantic proportions.
Here is the last sentence from the liner notes on the back:
Even if you are knock-kneed, flat-chested, cross-eyed and balding, you can learn to have a really joyous and fulfilling sex life!
Well, thank God.
Some of you techie-oriented people will have to tell me how to make a CD of this jewel of knowledge. This is too good not to share.
Ooh, a total body orgasm! She may be on to something.
Good God, this is aural sex!
