Well, apparently, he's now a "columnist," and he's answered that very question in his first "article":
http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567
He's also demonstrated, to me and to the entire internet community, that he's a complete frickin' moron. Anyone who thinks that the "facts" written about him (on the "Chuck Norris Facts" website) are anything more than jokes in which he is the eternal punchline is a complete frickin' moron.
- He's a complete frickin' moron for hiring a complete frickin' moron as a ghost-writer
- His ghost-writer doesn't have an original idea in his or her head
- His ghost-writer is a confirmed ass-kisser
- His ghost-writer doesn't have a sense of humor--he or she is merely trying to cram in as many references to the guy's old movies as possible, in the hopes that readers will remember them fondly (which I don't, Mr. or Ms. Ghost-writer, spank you very much--preferrably with a sharp-spiked paddle!)
- He is a complete frickin' moron
- He doesn't have an original idea in his head (only swiping and appropriating those of Bill "Blows-hard" O'Reilly and Pat "Doomsayer Moneytaker" Robertson)
- He is trying to cash in on his ill-deserved "fame" as an action movie "actor"
- He doesn't have a sense of humor--he just thinks saying "I have a sense of humor" a whole bunch of times automatically makes it true (which it doesn't!)
Now, granted, he is a human being, he is an American and he is perfectly entitled to his opinions and religious beliefs. But so am I. And, in my opinion, I not only think that he's a complete frickin' moron, but also (to paraphrase a bumpersticker) while Jesus may love him, I think he's an asshole. An ugly asshole, whose very appearance, demeanor, stated goals and opinions, in general, transcend all the possible ugliest examples of human maleness. And no amount of God/Jesus/FSM's "blessings," "love" or "grace" is going to change that.
The only thing that truly gives me any sort of pleasure about this phugly jackass is not only the fact that he's as malformed as the primates from Planet of the Apes, but also the fact that, in spite of his many years of martial arts study (which I do not begrudge him), he has NEVER come close to beating Bruce Lee. Because Bruce Lee was awesome incarnate. Period. Bruce Lee even intimidated Norris into shouting at the tops of his lungs (so his own students could hear), "BRUCE LEE IS A BETTER FIGHTER THAN ME!"
Or so I heard.
In the "article" above, he interpreted some of the more humorous "facts" about him to be misguided attempts at showing respect for him. In this endeavor, as a critical analyzer, his biggest mistake is that he assumes that they are trying to show respect at all. Case in point: Take for example this "fact"--"Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."
