moonriver posted on Jan 07, 2007
| views: 330
this isn't a poem,
wasn't made out to be.
the few ones i wrote
intended as poems
were easy to do.
i don't mean to say
they're worthless doodles
of a playful heart
and a facile mind.
yes, the words flowed easily out
with practised casual strokes.
an airy liquid calligraphy
on endless paper scrolls.
but this moment
is different.
the eyes flinch
the mind stutters
and words stumble out in gasps
at a gruesome surgery.
behold a reopened wound,
an ugly, gaping wound.
i force myself
with clumsy ignorance
to see stale blood,
to touch raw pain
and decide my fate
should i heal or should i rot
must i live or must i die.
so i ask myself
do i still love her?
do i want my stubborn dream
of eagle meeting dolphin
on bamboo bridge again,
this lizard dream
that wouldn't go
should i let it glide away
or let it seize my every day
and become reality again?
dream soothes the hurt
and dulls the pain
but ugly gaping wound remains
and should i dare touch it again
with searing hands
the risk of rot,
the threat of pain
but the chance to heal
and to live again.
limestone caves i roam
and sway with bamboo dance
roll on pine cone carpet
and howl with moonlight wolf
seeking answers
that echo back to me
exactly like before.
and it is this:
yes, i love her still
oh bitterly i long for her
though dream may turn
to nightmare days
exactly like before.
i may heal or i may rot.
i may live or i may die.
i may burn in scorching fire.
tis not for me to say.
but today for once
in a long long while
i held a stranger's hand
for one frail single instant
across the winter sea
and kissed her words
though it sliced me like scalpel
and hushed her pain
though it burned me like embers
and saw her smile
though it blinded me like sunburst
and soothed her soul
though mine was crying and lost.
tis a strange season of joy.
still speechless, i've made this poem.
still restless, i'm now at peace.
still loveless, i've found my solace.
still faceless, you have taught me
how to love your smile.
Comments
-
secretlife said on Jan 08, 2007....
whatever you'd like to call this moon, it's wonderful.
-
kruuyai said on Jan 08, 2007....
I feel like anything I could say would just trivialize your words, so I'll just say... I hear you. -
Lioness said on Jan 08, 2007....
Simply mesmerizing.. I was lost in that poem, I could feel the pain and the joy.. -
gingersoul said on Jan 08, 2007....
......you made me smile.... -
fucked_up_girl said on Jan 09, 2007....
you are simply special. i hope SHE realizes that. im with you man. im with you. you're not alone in your pain. you're special. -
moonriver said on Jan 09, 2007....
moonriver confucius say:
secretlife own poetic blog entry "he's close" give me idea for this poem. 12 kowtows to you, my friend.
kruu, me also hear yuu, hope to read some of yuur calligraphy in forthcoming lunar nuu year.
lioness, dont get lost in bamboo forest poem, werewolf out to find lost girls and bring to cave for night of debauchery :-)
ginger, please no tease me with cheshire cat smile :-)
fugirl, now me confused who you mean by "she", since new year bring me more concubine applicants lol.
-
kruuyai said on Jan 10, 2007....
hey, muunie... where duu I get my application form? = ) -
soulreaver said on Jan 10, 2007....
hmm.. another modern concept of poetry, I guess... as they say, it's upto your style. I write poems, that's how I consider them, now and then too...
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kruuyai said on Jan 11, 2007....
muun: Just so you know, I left you a poem here.
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writerspirit said on Jan 12, 2007....
It's simply lovely Moon.I almost feel as though I know you a little...Writerspirit -
moonriver said on Jan 12, 2007....
kruu -- why, you forgot already? you filed your application last year, and the board approved it! lol :-) "muunie" is dangerously close to the moonies, but no problem.
soulreaver -- i have a two-year-old draft of a pseudo-poem entitled "why i hate poems." it's still a draft, as most of my writings are :-) i hope the underlying honesty and consistency aren't fogged over by much of the oriental imagery and highly personal symbols
writerspirit -- thank you, and i hope you find something universal that resonates with you in this very personal writing...
-
CreativeWoman said on Jan 12, 2007....
Wonderful writing, moon.
CW
-
thexperfectximperfection said on Jan 13, 2007....
Wow. That's quite deep. It's beautiful. -
petitepapillon said on Jan 13, 2007....
Wow. Such beautiful writing, moon. So very beautiful and touching. : ) -
kruuyai said on Jan 13, 2007....
hey moon: welcome back! When do I start? :) -
moonriver said on Jan 16, 2007....
thank you again, ladies. kruu, you started in november, don't you remember? just continue your comments, you're doing all right at the job lol ;-)
-
kruuyai said on Jan 16, 2007....
Way back in November? My oh my, how time flies when you're having fun. Thanks for the kudos, boss man. :) -
moonriver said on Jan 16, 2007....
to all who posted comments on this poem, my deepest, most heartfelt thanks. my followups to your comments might have been done in too playful a manner that spoils the magic, and i often do that because i don't want to take *myself* too seriously. but this poem really means so much to me, and i'm thrilled to the bone it somehow touched a nerve in you. again, 24 kowtows to all.
-
Me-Myself&I said on Oct 02, 2007....
very nice my friend....where are you? you are disappearing one month at a time....what's up? worried. see ya -
the_infernal_optimist said on Oct 02, 2007....
I like this even though it aches.
Now, the real question at hand: where'd your stuff go? :(
~Infernal
-
hillbillygirl said on Oct 11, 2007....
This is beautiful....very moving....I'm not sure where your other stuff went to but I'm glad you saved this :)~
Comment on "scorching fire"
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