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You're an idiot...

momsrock posted on Jan 01, 2007 | views: 1143 | Tags: funny, cracking me up, Dr Ruth, Now, YAHOO, answers, dumb, people, sex, sexuality, amusing, I think that is a good idea, I, DID, not
Have any of you ventured into Yahoo answers? The more questions I read the more my head started to throb!! I might not always have the most common sense, but these people are freaking DUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
They were asking questions like:
 
1. I'm 16 and pregnant. I'm really mature...should I keep the baby? Ummm how mature can you be if you are taking a poll on the internet to see what you should do...
 
2. I haven't had my period since October and I feel sick. Could I be pregnant? If you can't pee on a stick, call your doc he'll dip it in a cup for you...
 
3. I'm 12 and I really love this guy. But he's 26...do you think that is too old?? And should I let him use handcuffs?? Handcuffs are a great idea... he needs to get used to wearing them...
 
4. I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I my baby isn't where it used to be? I know the baby drops before you go into labor...OH MY GOD... AM I IN LABOR?????????!!! Your baby probably just changed positions and hopefully it inherits its father's intelligence...
 
5. Does size really matter for women? And do any of you want to go out Friday night?? Not as much as men think it does...but your chances of dating anyone here now are SLIM TO NONE, TINY!!
 
6. Is it true that if my bf cums in my mouth and then we kiss and then he goes down on me that I can get pregnant when I am on the pill???  God I hope not because people as dumb as you should never be able to reproduce...
 
I realize some of these questions are asked just to get a reaction. I have to say that I was a little disappointed to find out you could only answer a specific number of questions per day. I was quite entertained! And imagine my surprise when some of my answers were voted as the best response...  I didn't check to see what answers they were...but I'm guessing the  one about "Tiny" was a winner. 
 
If you haven't ever read the questions at that site... it's worth it for a good laugh.


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Comments

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    LOL!  Good gravy! 

    It's sad, but it's also hours of laughs.  These can't be serious.  Much like the callers on Loveline.
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    These people kill me!! I kind of want to open a never ending post here and have my own "loveline"...I think I will...anyone dumb enough to ask my opinion will get the answer they deserve.... lmao
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    NBC Presents...The Mrs. Obvious Show...starring momsrock...

    Here's our first caller...

    CALLER: momsrock, my boyfriend is Osama bin Laden.  He beats me with a knotted plowline every day and is planning to blow up the White House.  Should we get married?

    momsrock: Thanks for calling, caller.  What I think you should do is stick your head down the garbage disposal and then turn it on.  Keep it on until you have just a neck and no more head.  Ironically, that will make allllll the hurting stop.
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    ROTFLMAO!!!!  Don't worry... I will let you walk the red carpet with me when the time comes!
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    Caller #2: I have notice a few red bumps in my southern region... my boyfriend has them too... do you think I am allergic to him? Moms: No, I think you have a horny spider in your bed...JACKASS!!!
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    I heard dat!!!  Tell it, sister!  Testify!  
  • MissMimi said on Jan 01, 2007....
    You two are hilarious! Just sitting here enjoying the fun...
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    lmao... who wants my advice?? DAMN yahoo for limiting it to 10 answers/day.... there are people in need!!!
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    moms,

    Like a battlefield medic, you'll just have to assess them on the fly and take a pass on the ones too far gone to save.
  • paidinblood said on Jan 01, 2007....
    lmao... y'all got skillz!
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    Good point Gumpy...good point.  I can't spread myself to thin anyway... You're the thinker in this duo...definitely the thinker...  :)
     
    Thanks PIB. Any health problems you'd like advice on? Any relationship issues you'd like to bounce off of us? :) 
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    SFX: HEAVY BATTLEFIELD ARTILLERY AND MORTAR FIRE

    GUMPY: momsrock!  momsrock!  I've got a man down!!!  He's wondering if he can practice sex with his dog so he'll be skilled when he eventually meets a girl!!!  I don't think I can stop the bleeding here!!!!

    momsrock:  You'll have to handle it yourself, corporal!!!  I've got a sixteen year old girl here who thinks Chicklets and M&Ms are birth control pills and she's having regular sex with her father--when he's out of jail, that is!!!!

    Indistinguishable voice: (off-mike)  Medic!  Medic!  My pastor's dick tastes funny!  I think my sister is menstruating again!
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    Oh you're freaking killing me....LMAO!!!
     
    momsrock: Gumpy...do you have a copy??!! We've got a sick one here.  He's got his tongue ring stuck on her IUD. Who knows how he got his tongue so far up there...but he's dying to know if she can get pregnant!!!
     
    Tell pastor boy the dick doesn't taste funny.... it tastes like ASS!!!!!!!!!!!
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    laughing even harder at the fact that I included "Momsrock:" when I was the only one talking...lmao... guessing I was going to add a response from you and forgot...:)
  • mom said on Jan 01, 2007....
    You are really good.  I think you should do that  You could call your show Momsrock, the sarcastic psychiatrist. LOL
    I do like your responses.  You could have so much fun.
    12 years old and a 26 year old with handcuffs?  I am still amazed.
     
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    momsrock,

    We could have a reality show in about five seconds if we wanted to!

    ROFLMAO on the "ass" remark! 
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    gumpy: we'd be reality tv superstars! :)
     
    mom: I can't believe they limit your responses but don't limit how many dumb questions you can ask...
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    moms,

    I fear I'm too shy and demur to handle the intense fame and stardom! 
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....
    It's ok... we'll be rich enough to pay someone to do all that for us...kind of like a stunt double....
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    The stunt double will be a problem. 

    There can't be THREE guys on earth that look like the brother on Everybody Loves Raymond?
  • momsrock said on Jan 01, 2007....

    Do you look like Robert? :)  I love that show... I think I will be Marie in a good 40 years.

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 01, 2007....
    I don't really look like him.  Just the same relative size.

    Kinda sad about Peter Boyle.  He was one of my all time favorites.  PLUS--he was a monk!  And the best man at John Lennon's wedding to Yoko!!!

    And, he was in Taxi Driver and Young Frankenstein.  A life well-lived!
  • CreativeWoman said on Jan 01, 2007....
    You guys are cracking me up!  I'm going to have to check it out.

    CW
  • queenparanoia said on Jan 02, 2007....

    oh my god this is funny!!!!!

    whahahahahaha i'm gonna try yahoo answers!!!!!!!!!!

  • lilfreida said on Jan 02, 2007....

    I've been on yahoo answers before but never come across any questions like these, the things that comes out of peoples mouths can be beyond stupid that's why there so funny. I couldn't stop laughing at there questions or your responses. My days getting off to an ok start. LOL.

  • candyrain said on Jan 02, 2007....
    Um, my name is candyrain, and I just joined.  But i am just wanting to say that I was the person who asked about the cum in mouth and getting pregnant.  I thought i could be coming to a nice place to talk to people but now I just see that you are mean.  I am notnumb for not nowing if I could get pregnant from that.  I guess i will find another site to join sice you guys will probably make fum of me.
  • SaltwaterPearl said on Jan 02, 2007....
    LOL moms, those were hilarious! I've never been on there but I mght have to go have a look now.

    candyrain: I can't decide whether you're serious or having us on. Amazing coincidence if it's the former...
  • danetteb said on Jan 02, 2007....
    Been on there, laughed my ass off too :P
  • RollingC said on Jan 02, 2007....
    Come to think of it...that  #3 question sounds to me like something  from undercover agents fishing for child molesters.
    The rest are just dorky questions put there to get a response or maybe put there by real dorks...who knows?
  • RollingC said on Jan 02, 2007....
    candyrain dear....how can anyone make fum of you? It's fun not fum.


    Live and learn.
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 02, 2007....
    And, nobody here ever had any doubt that you are notnumb.
  • gingersoul said on Jan 02, 2007....

    Moms..i knew that soon or later all your genious comedian side would have burst out of the box!!!

    This post suits you perfectly...i am laughing from the first lines to the last one..

    And Gumpy is a great sidekick for you...keep it going, guys!!! lol...

  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jan 02, 2007....
    This is better than Saturday Night Live!!! LOL

    Momsrock & Gumpy, you two could be George Burns and  Gracie Allen of the new millenium

    moms:     redundant is my second name, here goes, I´ve said it before, I´ll said it again... YOU Rock!

    Gumpy: ;   ) Man! I Quiver!!!
    __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
    precious:
    moms: lmao... who wants my advice?? DAMN yahoo for limiting it to 10 answers/day.... there are people in need!!!

    Gumpy: Like a battlefield medic, you'll just have to assess them on the fly and take a pass on the ones too far gone to save.

    craziiiieee!!!

    momsrock: laughing even harder at the fact that I included "Momsrock:" when I was the only one talking...lmao... guessing I was going to add a response from you and forgot...:)

    lmao!!!

    Gumpy: I fear I'm too shy and demur to handle the intense fame and stardom!
    momsrock: It's ok... we'll be rich enough to pay someone to do all that for us...kind of like a stunt double....


    Have a wonderful night guys!


    paper~
  • silverwhisper said on Jan 02, 2007....
    MR: i didn't even know yahoo had such a site! and now of course i'll have to make sure i never find it!

    ed
  • PAPERBACKWRITER said on Jan 02, 2007....
    ed: lmao - have I ever told you, I envy your oneliners and dry humour? Are you sure you´re not English disguising as an American?!

    BTW, Happy New Year!

    paper~


  • silverwhisper said on Jan 02, 2007....
    i don't believe so, but thank you. :>

    ed
  • momsrock said on Jan 02, 2007....

    candyrain: lol... sorry but there's no sympathy here...

    cw and queen: Make sure you don't answer all the good ones!! Leave a few for me... :)

    Pearl: It's definitely worth checking out for a good laugh...

    rollingc: There were several that I actually had the same feeling about... maybe we'll see it on 20/20

    lol gumpy... God you're quick... I was going to comment on the 'fum' and 'notnumb' but everyone is already on top of it! lol

    ginger: I think I have too much free time on my hands...lmao

    paper: First, I am glad to see you commenting again... second... I have an addition to the list of 5 crushes... Jonathan Togo... on CSI: MIAMI... it's not just the looks...it's the character he plays... little dork... but he makes me sweat!

    ed, take a quick look... make sure you check the women's health... that's where the idiots are hiding...:)

     

     

  • silverwhisper said on Jan 03, 2007....
    MR, i can only stomach so much stupidity and ignorance! :>

    ed
  • momsrock said on Jan 03, 2007....

    I like to feel smart... and on that site... I am a god damn genious! :)

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 04, 2007....
    moms,

    Does this mean I'm Sonny and you're Cher? 

    Just asking because I'm going skiing next week.
  • momsrock said on Jan 04, 2007....

    Can I be cher with a nose job?  :)

    So... it might not be the best idea for you to be skiing... and DEFINITELY not if you are skiing around Lake Tahoe... and just watch out for the trees!!

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 04, 2007....
    Moms,

    SURE you can be Cher with the nose job.  Everyone's looking forward to your eight costume changes during the next thread!

    And do Gypsies, Tramps, And Thieves!!! 
  • momsrock said on Jan 04, 2007....
    I definitely don't have her butt... so the costumes won't be what you are expecting! lol
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 04, 2007....
    I GOT IT!!!!!

    We can do THIS!!!!!  You can be CHER!  I will be MEATLOAF!!!!!!

    GOD, I LOVE Meatloaf!!!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XXCHEP0xQg
  • momsrock said on Jan 04, 2007....
    Oh and I can't sing.... I do it often, but I'm not any good. Meatloaf is good...just make sure you stand closer to the microphone so they hear you not me...lmao
  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 04, 2007....
    I will do that.  Or we can lip synch your part.
  • hotaka said on Jan 06, 2007....

    I have worked up a sweat reading this post and the comments. Com'on Gumpy and MR, more jokes!

    Give me a second... I might have a dumb question for you guys.

    Oh, wasn't there one on Happy Days about a girl who heard that if you kissed your boyfriend in a wet bathing suit you could get pregnant?

    Okay, here's a few dumb questions.

    Caller #4: Momsrock? Hi. Uh... My girlfriend always scrapes the skin with her teeth when she's giving me a BJ. How can I politely ask her to take out her dentures?

    Caller #9: Hi. I'm 17 and I think I am gay. Is that natural or should I blame my Boy Scout leader?

    Caller #14: Question for Gumpy? Uh... I got a coldsore and it came the day after I ate out my girlfriend. I heard coldsores are a kind of herpes. Does this mean my girlfriend has herpes? Did she give it to me or did I give her herpes?

    Caller #19: Is it true that masterbating too much can make you blind? Because yesterday I was masterbating and I didn't see that my parents and sister came into the room.

    Caller #20: I have a question about masterbating too. I heard if you masterbate too much you get hairy palms. This morning I masterbated and I saw grey hairs on my palms. I think it was just lint from my underwear because it washed off but still I kinda want to know. You know, just in case.

    Caller #25: Yeah, uh... My condom just came off inside my girlfriend. I can't see it with the penlight. How should we get it out?

    Last caller: I have heard there is no reason why senior citizens should stop having sex. How can I make myself more sexually attractive to college girls? and if I get one pregnant, should I get her to sign some kind of prenup or something?

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 06, 2007....
    looks like our reality show just got a new cast member!
  • momsrock said on Jan 06, 2007....

    Caller 4: I'm guessing if you say anything at all, she'll be knocking out YOUR dentures...You are better off offering her a caramel. When her dentures are stuck together, she will remove them... THEN ask for a BJ.

    Caller 9: As long as you stick to the boy scout leader and not his sheep...its entirely natural... BAAAAAAHHHH

    Caller 19: LMAO! Don't worry, the sight of them seeing you naked has also made them blind.

    Caller 20: Having hairy palms is probably why you can't get anyone else to play with you.

    Caller 25: Get your fathers coal mining hat and dig around. And... to prevent this in the future... grow a dick before attempting to have sex.

    Last caller: Feel free to spread yourself around.... just remember girls aren't as clean as they used to be. If you see a bump... don't nibble on it. And for goodness sake, that is not cottage cheese or pistachio pudding your eating!!!

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 06, 2007....
    I startled the neighbors with laughter, momsrock. 

    You are now clearly Executive Producer.
  • momsrock said on Jan 06, 2007....
    lol... it's not quite as fun without your help!
  • hotaka said on Jan 06, 2007....

    We have more callers! Com'on guys. Get to it.

    Caller #1: I think my dog got pregnant on the same day I did. Does this mean we are going to have twins or no because the fathers are different?

    Caller#5: I found I can pick up short wave radio with my left nipple ring. This morning I heard George Michaels singing Careless Whisper from my boob. Should I get a check up in case I get breast cancer from microwaves?

    Caller#8: There's this girl I like and I want to sleep with her but she said she doesn't sleep with guys with circumsized dicks and mine is. Is there some way I can fake it?

    Caller #11: I have been dating Marcy for four weeks now and I really love her. We haven't had sex because she won't let me but she does give me head often. Then the other day I found out she is a transvestite. That means she's actually a he. I'm not gay but I really love her or him. Can I ask my dear Marcy to have a sex change?

  • GumpyJumptooth said on Jan 07, 2007....
    Good Christ, that is FUNNY!
  • momsrock said on Jan 07, 2007....

    Caller #1: Are you sure the fathers are different?

    Caller #5: Just turn up the base and enjoy the vibration.

    Caller #8: Just tell her you weren't circumsized... your foreskin was the victim of a teenager with braces.

    Caller # 11: Just keep in mind that if a fight should break out over such a question that Marcy will be much stronger than the women you have beat up in the past.

  • hotaka said on Jan 07, 2007....
    Ooh... like the braces response!
  • D6fer said on Jan 23, 2007....
    Love this post! Laughed my ass off! Can ya help me find it now? :)
  • TheLiz said on Apr 01, 2007....
    I could spend hours on that site just reading questions. TOO FUNNY!


  • StillSeeking said on Jun 09, 2007....

    Handcuffs are a great idea... he needs to get used to wearing them...

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!

    :-D

    That was a good one!

  • JadeLondon said on Jul 04, 2007....
    Momsrock: Call me mean, but reading this really cheered me up!

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