I had a dream the other night where I saw another possibililty for what worse could have happened the last time I saw the guy who was my last not-really-relationship before I moved. ( Referenced in the post titled "Remembering" ) Unfortunately, this might not make a lot of sense since I never wrote about what actually happened that night. I thought I would have by now. I originally joined this site because I knew I had a lot I needed to get off my chest in a place where I could do it anonymously, but I haven't written nearly enough. I wanted to commit to at least once a day, but there are a lot of things I want to do that often, like yoga. I'm afraid that whatever I could say to summarize it, right now, would not effectively capture the situation, but I at least need to say that this was the night before I moved and I confronted him on some things and he suddenly got very angry and wanted to leave. Then, he slammed me to the floor and ran out. ( Keep in mind that he's a big, athletic guy and I'm 105 lbs. ) While I didn't really get injured, I know someone who could do that in anger could do worse.
And, I think this dream was reminding me of the worse. In it, he had picked me up and banged my head against the wall until I could see blood running. ( I know that head wounds do bleed profusely. ) And, I knew it was a dream but that I was seeing it because I _needed_ to see this scenario. That need was so intense. I could feel it while I was dreaming, but now I'm not really sure why. After all, it was a disturbing dream to have.