its christmas but i feel so alone. there's a party in the house but i dont feel the goodness in it. yes my family is well and i'm thankful for that. yes we are all together with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. yes i'm with parents and siblings. they are all happy. but why am i sad? why cant i feel the spirit of christmas? maybe because there is still a longing in me that needs to be taken care of. maybe i still need someone. to make me feel love this christmas. i thank God for giving us Jesus Christ. but i want to share that happiness with someone. is it wrong to ask for that? am i selfish to ask for more happiness even though i'm so blessed. will i feel complete if i found that happiness. last year we went into a temple and i asked if i ever be happy. the answer i got was no. no i wont ever be happy. why because i choose to be like this. i choose to let myself be sad and let the emotions to take over my life. instead of being grateful here i am moping around. so this time i'll choose to be happy. i'll choose to be grateful. i will feel alone but i wont let the feeling make me lonely. i'll count my blessings and be thankful i got them. maybe happiness is not our destiny. happiness is our own choice. and yes this christmas, i choose to be happy.
merry christmas everybody here in soulcast!!!!
