Tossing in the towel I am done. I am so sick of being sick. I am so sick of being weak. I am so sick of looking around at a home that is falling apart around my feet. What happened what went wrong in my life? I try so hard to be good cause that hole if you do bad you will get bad. Heck I am starting to think being evil and cold is the way to go. Bad people seem to have it easier. I am in a funk and I no what I say is not good and I should not think of it. I just wish I could be better. Just a little. My everyday smiles are now gone today. And I no I am the strong one who hangs on and smiles. And just deals with what ever comes my way. But not today I cant. Christmas on its way stressed if I can get the kids a nice gift. Hopeing I feel better to go places with them. I guess I wanted to wine today. True fully I wanted to cry today. Who knows my tears will dry and when the kids get home I will be all smiles and things will be better. Just got a second alone. To think and to feel my body and say dam hell why me. A moment to yourself is not good! Sorry I have wrote this for all to see but you no I just wanted to cry a shoulder to cry on cause I really don’t have one. In my life I am not aloud to have these weak moments. I have to be the strong one for everyone. So if your out there and you read this thanx for the shoulder to lean on. I needed it. I promise it will be ok just not this second not this moment. Thank you!
win
