• secretlife said on Dec 20, 2006....

  It's not selfish to want someone to love you and to want them to love you back.

  it's not unrealistic either.

  if you close yourself up to the possibility, then the chances are slim to none that you'll be able to find what you say you want the most.

  Yeah, it sucks some days-  yeah it hurts alot.  but ....big but.....if you put yourself out there, and try to be positive and look your best, and feel good about you.......you'll attract attention to yourself.  Honest....this really IS the way it works.  sometimes, we are our own worst enemies.  we say we want something, but we do everything subconsciously to prevent that from happening.

   

• GumpyJumptooth said on Dec 20, 2006....

  >>ok before anything else all you guys would probably say just be patient HE will come. <<
  
  Be patient.  He will come.
  
  Just remember to keep your hand moving and use lots of tongue.
  

• maemae said on Dec 20, 2006....

  It isn't selfish or foolish to want love when you are lonley. It's human nature.
   
  But since you have already made up your mind that it's never going to happen, it probably wont. That sounds harsh, but it's true.  Finding someone who deserves you is 85% mental.  The rest is chemistry.
   
  I'm not saying "Think positively" I'm just saying, don't obsess so negatively.  Men, generally do not find negativity and defeatest attitudes very hot. 
   
  Ever hear the saying "If you build it, he will come"?  Well the same thing goes for yourself.
   
  Be comfortable being alone.  Be happy with that.  Once you are happy in your own company, others will be happy in your company as well.
   
  It's not fair of you to judge your friends just for being in a relationship, just as I am sure you find it unfair that they are in a relationship and you aren't. You are just as deserving. It doesn't matter what their motives are, how does that affect you, really? And to be honest, you have no idea how they really feel.  Insecurity is a serious and painful issue.  That doesn't make what they feel and fear any less valid than what you feel and fear.
   
  Focus on yourself, and not what others have.  The more you focus on you, the more others will too.  You are a good and beautiful person.  You deserve a relationship.  If you really truly believe that, a relationship will come. This will also lead into the other saying is "Love comes when you least expect it". The few times I have found someone that I have developed a true relationship with, it was when I wasn't even looking.
   
  Sometimes I wish I could follow my own advice though. It's awful hard to practice what you preach. :\

• copsunited said on Dec 20, 2006....

  This is uncanny. I just happened to open this up to glance because the topic was close to my heart..and there...OMG..it cannot be real.
   
  Here I am commenting on my situation..and here is another..just in reverse.
  What a perverse world...
   
  JD

• missb said on Dec 20, 2006....

  Queen,

  Come here! I'll introduce you to a lot of "could-be-the-ones" :)

  No, ok, being serious this time. I have been guilty of the things you mentioned. Sometimes i take things for granted from my bfs. I admit that i tend to push my luck and see just how much i can get away with :/ Not the best quality, i know.

  Anyway, all i can say is hang in there, dear. He will come. You know you gotta kiss all the ugly frogs before you can kiss the right one? The same goes for you, babe :)

  I'm writing this and hoping at the same time that my connection won't screw me. [Hugz]

  Cheers ;)

• missb said on Dec 20, 2006....

  Queen,

  Come here! I'll introduce you to a lot of "could-be-the-ones" :)

  No, ok, being serious this time. I have been guilty of the things you mentioned. Sometimes i take things for granted from my bfs. I admit that i tend to push my luck and see just how much i can get away with :/ Not the best quality, i know.

  Anyway, all i can say is hang in there, dear. He will come. You know you gotta kiss all the ugly frogs before you can kiss the right one? The same goes for you, babe :)

  I'm writing this and hoping at the same time that my connection won't screw me. [Hugz]

  Cheers ;)

• queenparanoia said on Dec 20, 2006....

  thanks for the comments guys. anyway when i wrote this last night i was tired and very bitter so sorry if i sound harsh but it is the truth for me.
   
  gumpyjumptooth: yeah i used my hand a lot! too bad i'm just too depressed to do it nowadays...
   
  maemae: yes maybe i am jealous that they are in a realtionship and i'm not. and i'm not saying that all of my friends are like that. some of my friends have a great relationships. but there are also some who are not. i just hate it when they take for granted the love that they receieve. most the guys i known are stupid enough to fall for someone who take them for granted! i'm not saying that they choose me but cant they choose someone better??? there a lot of girls i know who are better than these girls!!! LOVE is truly FUCKINGLY BLIND!!!!
   
  copsunited: i totally agree.
   
  missb: [receive hug] thank you dear. i really need that...
   

• queenparanoia said on Dec 20, 2006....

  secretlife: yeah youre right but we are our won enemies. dont worry i wont give up yet.

• Johnowl said on Dec 20, 2006....

  Whoa! Be patient.  I know that you do not care to hear the lectures, but it seems that you are a little unsure of yourself when it comes to a long meaningful one.  I agree with those on top whom say that it will come when you are not looking.  That is how it happened to me.  I was a bouncer in a bar when I met my wife.  We have been together for going on a decade now.  And not only that, we are totally opposite!  But no matter our differences, it would suck to lose her.  Trust me, it takes a special one to weather my quirks.  It can happen for you.  Just have confidence.  The rest will take care of itself.  I mean anyone can find love.  I have seen some odd couples, and I am sure that you have also.  They were at the right place at the right time.  And what was strange was that I said that I would never pick up a woman in a bar.  But after that, I have never been back to one.  I have everything I need at home.  You will find it, and you will know when it finds you.
   
  GOOD NIGHT

• hotaka said on Dec 20, 2006....

  I have never been able to close my heart. I love being open and friendly to people. Even without a girlfriend I am ready to show love and kindness to anyone who doesn't do anything to make me feel otherwise. If I didn't have the proper perspective of things I think I would fall in love many times a year. I can find things to be in love with in many of the women I meet. But I am old enough now to know what is most valuable to me and my girlfriend has given me that. She lets me be myself and doesn't pressure me to be different. And I am glad to support her and encourage her, and I love making plans to do things together where we can both enjoy doing something as a couple as well as enjoy it for ourselves. Life is good. I never closed my heart. But then again, I have had so many people close to me come and go over the years that I know to cherish the great memories and hope they are happy wherever they are. I am used to letting people go. That's part of it, eh? Loving means being able to let people go. I'm thankful for all the great people I have known in my life.
   
  [*snaps out of dreamy reverie*]
   
  Sorry, what was the question?

• Johnowl said on Dec 21, 2006....

    Yes queen, today it's a totally different world when it comes to the "LOVE ATMOSPHERE".  Simply speaking, attitudes were nothing of the present.
    Let's take your pre-baby boom generation (Those whom are in their 80's on up).  Statistically speaking, when they said, "I DO", they really did.  With us, it's "MAYBE".  Back then, it was "I WILL IF YOU WILL."  Now it's "I WILL WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT IF YOU WILL."  And what many from later generations are amazed by is how many elderly couples of today will tell you that they only went out for two weeks, but have been married for fifty-plus years.
    Game was simply plentiful when one hunted for love in those days.  They were a bit more appreciative of eachother because they knew how important love was just for overall survival, especially in the depression era.
    Now, breaking an egg-yolk in the skillet is grounds for divorce, while celebrities will justify it. (I am being facetious). 
    A marriage is not unified if it's being done for the wrong reasons.  Marital mishaps in Hollywood are made popular in the eyes of the those on the giving end of entertainment.
    So, just don't rush and think that you need to fall in love now.  You just may think it's love.  What I mean is, why not wait a year or two and be married for fifty years, rather than getting married within a day or two, and only be married for fifty days.  With the overall present day attitude regarding love, that seems almost imperative.  You seem to desire an old-fashioned marriage, and it's possible.
   
  GOOD DAY

• queenparanoia said on Dec 21, 2006....

  thanks guys for the advice it really helps!!! wow i never knew i could have this many comments from soulcast. and long ones too.

• Johnowl said on Dec 21, 2006....

  Pleased to help. My wife and I have been together going on ten years, but the marriage itself is only three. So, it's safe to say that the warranties for the both of us have expired before either of us were through test driving. But hey, we were well aware of eachother's ins and outs before we had gotten in front of everyone and God to exchange vows. To many religious people, what we did was wrong, but this day and age, it pays to be sure before you become another statistic. One must adapt to it's surroundings if it's going to survive. That includes marriage.

• paidinblood said on Dec 29, 2006....

  Someone is definitely out there.  You should read this.
  
  Patience fellow blogger, all will be clear in due time.
  
  much respect,
  paidinBlood
  

• fucked_up_girl said on Jan 09, 2007....

  hahaha. well at least nagmoveOn ka na... i won't say be patient (well i just said it)... i know exactly how you're feeling... and all i can say is, let's enjoy being single muna. im pretty sure that we are included in the philippines' top 100 gorgeous women (naks) so let's enjoy that muna. love is sometimes too fleeting. so basta enjoy na lang naten ang life. :)

• huevo said on Oct 26, 2009....

  Well... go look at my poems www.allpoetry.com/migit212 I am currently in an unrequited love... I feel like I will never meet someone better than her or same as her. The feeling is so miserable. I see her now with this new person and they seem to look so alike and happy. Like, not just the same in personality but also physically. I have seen this a lot too. Couples who are very happy together and seem to be destined to be together usually look alike. I am hoping that the next person I meet will probably share some physical similarity with me, like, probably at least make a beautiful contrast. Good luck =( I know how you feel

• queenparanoia said on Oct 26, 2009....

  huevo: thank you. i already found him but relationships are tricky but worth fighting for... you'll find that right person for you... just wait... ;-)

• daydreamer_rain said 3 days ago....

  mmm.. is there someone out there for you, who knows? all i know is that i have the same problem, yes its a problem. Because i want a family, babies, husband and 22 is too old for my liking. The wall i've created is a piss off! because it made me too cold, too strong, too picky, and too hurt. i've given up on love long ago but my heart has'nt. Thats why i beleave one day someone will be strong enough to break my sheld and when that day comes, its hard to say. ...... sorry im no good at the prep talk.

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