I've heard of head hunters but I never thought in million years people would come looking for me.
I was honored to get the phone call yesterday from the college asking if I was interested in teaching. It was something I had considered doing over the past year. The problem is that I think my best friend will be upset. Not because I got the call but because she did not.
I have not told her that I was called. I don't even know how to go about the subject. We went to college together, graduated together (I was top in the class, she was named honor student), we started a student association for techs at our college, and organized a trip for members of our class to attend the national convention. And we created and now oversee the statewide student association for our professional organization. We have traveled all over the state instituting student groups at different colleges. She encouraged me to get a job at the place I'm at now...with her. We have done some great things for our profession together. I always told her we made a great team.
She has talked about wanting to teach so she went back to college to get a higher degree so that she can someday. I, on the other hand, have concentrated on working with the professional organization, building relationships and networking. So, I am now faced with this situation that I do not know how to approach. How do I tell her I got called for a teaching job? I don't want her to feel slighted or that I stole it from her because I know how badly she has wanted this.
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ninibud92 posted on Dec 19, 2006
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Comments
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dailyachesandpains said on Dec 19, 2006....
Nini,I would think that if she is your friend she will be very happy for you. She may be a little upset, but it's your future...right? I would just tell her something like this "You are going to be so happy for me..." and then tell her. By saying that, you implanted in her brain that she is supposed to be happy for you.{{{hugs}}}Daily -
gingersoul said on Dec 19, 2006....
Nini,
you are showing to be a very good friend in worrying about her...BUT she should equally show you she is a very good friend of you in not getting upset with you.
It is not your fault...it seems very easy to see, from what you say....
so maybe . yes, she will be upset at the beginning but let's hope she will understand the dinamic of the situation,...........
otherwise, she would belong to that kindof friends that is better leave than keep..
BTW, congratulation for the offer!!!
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silverwhisper said on Dec 20, 2006....
if your friend is qualified, perhaps you can suggest your friend as a possible candidate in place of yourself?
ed -
PAPERBACKWRITER said on Dec 20, 2006....
Go Girl!
Congratulations!!
I have been in the situation quiet a number of times, and just like Ginger and Daily said, if she is a good friend, she´ll react positively and might even inquire if there is an opening for her as well.
I have only positive experiences from the past. It is nice to worry, and be considerate of the feelings of our beloved ones. It is becoming a character, that is simply disappearing in our society, or so I think.
You made my day, by blogging about your dillemma, you proved me wrong.
And, if you are not terribly keen because you are not as passionate about it as your buddy --- why not take on silver´s suggestion?
You have still a connection to the establishment through your friend and you will make your friend very happy for Christmas.
Otherwise, go for it! Wouldn´t you be happy for your friend to if situation was reversed?
This is what I remind myself when doubts overcome moi ; )
paper~
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Ormocanon said on Dec 20, 2006....
My goodness, why on earth do you feel guilty? Having been offered a teaching job was beyond your control, so don't feel as if you stole something from your friend. Look at it this way, you've earned it. period. -
MissMimi said on Dec 20, 2006....
I think it would be very natural for your friend to have some feelings of jealousy and resentment. But if she's a mature person who genuinely cares for you, she'll do her best to not let them show, and she won't blame you. Perhaps if you talk about it honestly and bring it all out in the open before it has a chance to fester? And it's definitely not your fault! You've worked hard for it--you should be proud. -
ninibud92 said on Dec 20, 2006....
I will be speaking with the coordinator at the college after the first of the year to see what it entails. I'll make my decision after that. And, if I like the offer and decide to teach, I will then tell my friend. If I don't take the job, I'll suggest they speak with my friend. And then I will tell her.
I suppose it is not worth the heart ache I could cause her if I don't like the offer. And if I do, then I agree with everyone to go for it.
I just hope this doesn't hurt our friendship. She has commented numerous times that we should start our own program.
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ninibud92 said on Dec 29, 2006....
OK, I broke down and talked to my friend. I told her I had to talk to her about something. It wasn't bad, it was an opportunity that presented to me and I needed her advice. It appears I had nothing to worry about. She got the same call I did! I told her I was nervous to tell her and she said she felt the same way!
So, we now embark on another new project together!
This is great!
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silverwhisper said on Dec 29, 2006....
that's fantastic, nini! i'm thrilled to hear that! :>
ed -
PAPERBACKWRITER said on Dec 29, 2006....
Oooooh, lurrrv happy endings!
Good luck and Happy New Year ninibud92!
Warm regards,
paper~
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