Ok I can perfectly understand you feeling like crap and wanting to punch something and I am going to tell you something that will make you insanely angry. It's the one thing we all hear in these cases and we can't stand to hear it.
He wasn't/isn't worth it.
I know, you hate hearing that by now but I'm afraid it is the truth. Another truth is that he's just done you a massive favour, removing himself from your life. You now no longer have to live the pain of being married to an ass like that. You only have 9 months to regret and not 9 years. You never again have to shed another tear over this particular selfish ass.
Better than that you are now wiser in the relationship stakes and will undoubtedly choose more carefully and more effectively next time. He on the otherhand is still deluded that he's a great catch and will continue to make the same stupid mistakes, over and over again.
And the grand consolation prize is this. He cheated on you, I can almost guarantee he'll cheat on her too. They don't stop doing this you know. It's not as if the "right woman" will change their approach to relationships. It just doesn't happen that way. They either have the right idea in the first place or they continue to work their way through the singles pool until they are bald and fat.
You on the otherhand already have a much brighter future by virtue of the fact you are now free of him.
What can i say? I have been you. Down to the last nice surprise of seeing him driving her car. Isn't a lovely scene?
Only difference your man did it to you afte 9 months, mine did it after the double of that number...in years! Did u count? :-)
Well, i am here now after one year of being divorced and i can tell you.... you will survive. I even made the mistake to take him back. It just delaied the end of another 6 months. My agony would have been a lot easier with a clean, surgical cut. Moon is wise, listen to him. Dont ever be tempted to reconcile with him.
He is pure shit.
Lucky you to see it in this crude, true light.
And i can't even tell how true are the words of Grounded: my friends kept repeating them to me, one by one, and at the beginning i wouldn't listen. i would think, yes, easy for you to say but don' t you see how much i am suffering, how my life is exploded and i am lost, how my hearth is bleeding?
They saw it. And they were right.
Now i know there is always a reason. It will take a while, i am not lying to you, but the pain you are dwelling into now it will fade away....you will be stronger. Its true. Stronger and wiser.
Dont ask why to him. It doesn matter anymore. Ask you why to yourself. And give you the answers and move on.
I wish you good luck. Its a cold place where you are right now. I dont wish to be there even to my worst enemy (well.....).
But trust me on this: you will be out of there.....its just a matter of time.
Who we are is defined by the way we react to tragedies like these. {hug}