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So i am driving down the street.and who do I see?him!!driving her car with her in it!!I just started to cry and cry.That was it.Every little thought about us and all the what if's...just went out the door.So I called him and told him he needed to get the rest of his things out of my house tomorrow or they would be out with monday's trash.I told him I wanted him out of my life and that was all I needed to see to realize what a piece of shit he was.His response..."ok."Then he has the gull to text me and ask if he can move his things next weekend because there is no way he can get a uhaul.I told him that wasn't really my problem,now was it.Then I did the unthinkable.I asked him why??Why did he do this?Why didn't he just let me go?His response because he didn't want to let me go before and he only decided a few days ago that he wanted to make things work with her.He said he wanted to wait until after Christmas to tell me.Isn't he so thoughtful?I am sad,angry and hurt.Sad that I am losing someone I really thought loved me.Angry that I let all this bullshit make me feel like I am being buried alive.And hurt ...well my pride is hurt.Because this girl that he's chosen doesn't have shit on me.I know why he picked her though.She's everything I am not.she does all his bidding no questions asked.He goes where he wants,when he wants,no questions asked.I guess he wasn't up for the challenge of a woman with a mind after all.But you know what, I knew all this.I knew he was weak.And yet I stayed on the rollar coaster for 9 monthes.If I knew it would end like this would I do it all over again.Absolutey not.I have just earned my first regret.Now what??


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Comments

  • GroundedMystic said on Dec 17, 2006....

    Ok I can perfectly understand you feeling like crap and wanting to punch something and I am going to tell you something that will make you insanely angry. It's the one thing we all hear in these cases and we can't stand to hear it.

    He wasn't/isn't worth it.

    I know, you hate hearing that by now but I'm afraid it is the truth. Another truth is that he's just done you a massive favour, removing himself from your life. You now no longer have to live the pain of being married to an ass like that. You only have 9 months to regret and not 9 years. You never again have to shed another tear over this particular selfish ass.

    Better than that you are now wiser in the relationship stakes and will undoubtedly choose more carefully and more effectively next time. He on the otherhand is still deluded that he's a great catch and will continue to make the same stupid mistakes, over and over again.

    And the grand consolation prize is this. He cheated on you, I can almost guarantee he'll cheat on her too. They don't stop doing this you know. It's not as if the "right woman" will change their approach to relationships. It just doesn't happen that way. They either have the right idea in the first place or they continue to work their way through the singles pool until they are bald and fat.

    You on the otherhand already have a much brighter future by virtue of the fact you are now free of him.  

  • queenparanoia said on Dec 17, 2006....
    what as asshole. you deserve much better dear. and i totally agree with groundedmystic. if i were i would trw out all of his stuff!!!
  • MsStar39 said on Dec 17, 2006....
    He is not worth a tear, move on. Actually he did you a big favor because you
    have someone better out there for you, that will love and appreciate a strong
    woman.
  • moonriver said on Dec 17, 2006....
    same advice here, hopenfaith. like giving up smoking and drinking, it won't be easy. there'll be moments when part of you would hunger for his return. there will strong self-excuses for you to try to call him, email him, check on how he's faring. the worst would be if he makes an effort to reconcile with you -- which is possible once he tires of this new girl. resist the urge. cut and cut cleanly. and find someone else who will truly deserve your love. (oh how excellent i am in giving advice. now if only i could follow it myself!)

  • gingersoul said on Dec 17, 2006....

    What can i say? I have been you. Down to the last nice surprise of seeing him driving her car. Isn't a lovely scene?

    Only difference your man did it to you afte 9 months, mine did it after the double of that number...in years! Did u count? :-)

    Well, i am here now after one year of being divorced and i can tell you.... you will survive. I even made the mistake to take him back. It just delaied the end of another 6 months. My agony would have been a lot easier with  a clean, surgical cut. Moon is wise, listen to him. Dont ever be tempted to reconcile with him.

    He is pure shit.

    Lucky you to see it in this crude, true light.

    And i can't even tell how true are the words of Grounded: my friends kept repeating them to me, one by one, and at the beginning i wouldn't listen. i would think, yes, easy for you to say but don' t you see how much i am suffering, how my life is exploded and i am lost, how my hearth is bleeding?

    They saw it.  And they were right.

    Now i know there is always a reason. It will take a while, i am not lying to you,  but the pain you are dwelling into now it will  fade away....you will be stronger. Its true. Stronger and wiser. 

    Dont ask why to him. It doesn matter anymore. Ask you why to yourself. And give you the answers and move on.

    I wish you good luck. Its a cold place where you are right now. I dont wish to be there even to my worst enemy (well.....).

    But trust me on this: you will be out of there.....its just a matter of time.

    Who we are is defined by the way we react to tragedies like these.  {hug} 

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