Every morning on my way to work I buy a can of red bull and a paper for the walk. I can usually finish the sports pages by the time I get to work which is pretty much all I read anyway so that works out great.

But anyway. It's fairly obvious that I have a paper, it being right in front of my face (I do look up to make sure I'm not walking into other people or bollards [ouch], indeed I still seem to have more spacial awareness than most other people, even when reading, since it always seems to be me that moves around other people walking along obliviously but nevermind). Yet despite the fact that I clearly have a paper in my hand all the various people giving out free papers still feel the need to thrust their paper out in front of me. One even put it in between my face and the paper I was reading (stopped and looked hard at him like the idiot he clearly is without saying a word). I'm pretty sure I don't look homeless and can't see the merit in collecting newspapers since I don't have a garden to turn them into mulch for. You'd think maybe one of them would think about it but obviously not. I know it's their job and a very tedious one at that but is slightly annoying.

 

One did amuse me last night though, though not enough to make up for the collective. She was standing there shouting, 'Tonight's London Paper, Tonight's London Paper,' (they obviously spent literally seconds coming up with a title for their paper). Now is it really necessary to shout it's tonight's edition? I know there are a lot of dumb  people but it can't be that bad surely. Was sorely tempted to tell her I wasn't really interested in tonight's edition and ask if she had a copy of wednesday last week's, or, even better, tomorrow's.

 

And that reminded me of my favourite evr announcement on the london underground. They shut the Waterloo and City line (locally known as the drain) from about March till November for refurbishment. And the announcement they had repeating from the day it closed in March went, 'The Waterloo and City line is closed for refurbishment until November the 11th. We advise you to seek alternative routes.' No sh*t! What as opposed to waiting till it reopens?