There has got to be more ...

I have been tangled in a web of my own weaving for far too long.I started seeing someone from work.And I knew it was wrong.He was living with someone.This is something completely out of character for me.Let me start from the beginning.This guy and I were working side by side every day for a year.The tension between us was almost tangible.Towards the end of the  year I find out he not only has a girlfriend but that he lives with her.And it seems that I am the only one in the company that didn't know. I felt like a complete fool.Then a few months pass and we are at the friends only stage. Then one night we go out with a group of co workers and we end up hooking up.For the next month we start seeing each other every weekend and even go away for a weekend.What she thought he was doing, I will never know.Eventually we both admit that we are in love with each other. I mean I really love this guy.Like I have never loved anybody in my life.So he says he is going to leave her and a month later he does.So we started dating and then one day things start to get rocky.He starts to withdraw.So I end it.Or so I thought.We are currently doing the on again,off again thing. And I found out that when we are on  our off again time, he is still sleeping with her.I am now being the stupid girl.Someone I never knew I was capable of being.I have this hope that one day he will get his head out of his ass and realize what he's done.But I also have the hope that one day I will get my head out of my ass and realize that this is not love.Not real love.