Today, I have been missing my eight year old niece who was killed in an accident two years ago. Little H. was the daughter I never had. She was a bright light in my world. Then in a moment, she was gone.
Last night I was out to dinner. Across the restaurant was a little girl who looked like her. She had blonde hair, glasses and a skinny little frame. She was silly. She was the clown at their table. She was a lot like Little H. So much like her, that she took my breath away.
Little H. always introduced me to her friends like this, "This is Auntie CW. She's a poet and she knows it." That was our thing. She and I made up poems together even before she could read. She would start a line, I would ryhme it, and so on and so forth. No one was more thrilled that I wrote greeting cards than her. To her, I was famous.
As she got older, she wrote her own greeting cards and included fabulous artwork. I saved every one of them. I'm so glad that I did. She was actually a published poet at her young age. She had been included in a children's poetry anthology. She was a gifted writer and artist. She was bursting with talent. She would have gone far.
Little H. is never far from my thoughts. I think about her every day. But, I smile as I write this. She was so witty. She made me laugh. She filled my heart with joy. She shared my love of writing. She loved me exactly as I am.
Missing Little H. aches sometimes, but I try to focus on the happy memories she left behind. Seeing that little girl in the restaurant last night fed my soul just a little bit. It stirred something locked away in my heart. It was like a hug from heaven.
CW
CreativeWoman posted on Dec 08, 2006
| views: 345
Comments
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NotReallyAnonymousAJ said on Dec 09, 2006....
When I was sixteen, I had this close friend who was three months and a little over a week younger than I was. I had been sixteen since December 12, and Mike turned 16 on March 23. Anyway, he excelled in art, and he also knew a lot about science. He'd hoped to invent something that would help a lot of people, but he drowned on May 31, 1969. To this day--nearly 40 years later--I wonder what Mike would have been like today. I'm sure that he would have been special, just as your niece was. I believe that they're both in Heaven now and still have lots of beautiful things to do. -
secretlife said on Dec 09, 2006....
I understand. There are no words CW for such a loss. But I understand how it is to miss someone who brought light into your world.And i'm glad you can remember her. -
silverwhisper said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW, i'm so sorry for about your niece. she sounds so wonderful and you've made me feel as though i too had the chance to meet her in this small way.
ed -
lioneljay said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW, it's simply beautiful that can evoke a little girl's spirit in so few words. I laughed and smiled as I read. And there's a bit of a tear as well. Thank you for sharing with us the joy of your remembrance. -
queenparanoia said on Dec 09, 2006....
cw.... i feel your loss. i know since you read my post. and thank you for that. youre niece will always be there for you. an angel always looking out for you. her earthly presence may be gone. but her spirits lives on. with your love for her. and thank you for sharing her with us here in soulcast. -
CreativeWoman said on Dec 09, 2006....
AJ,
I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. It's hard not to wonder what they could have been. Thank you for sharing.
secret,
Thank you. The world is empty without her, but I can imagine how she lights up heaven.
Ed,
Thank you. She touched a lot of people.
lionel,
Thank you. I had those same emotions as I was writing it.
queen,
Thank you. Sometimes when I see a beautiful sunset I think to myself that maybe Little H. painted it. I think God probably has her spreading joy somewhere.
CW
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MissMimi said on Dec 09, 2006....
Thank you for posting that, CW. It touches me that you had her bright little light in your life, although for far too short a time. I'm glad your memories of her make you smile. -
gingersoul said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW....so sorry for your loss.....i understand....
"Some people come in our life and quickly go.
Some people move our soul to dance.
They awaken our spirit to a new understanding.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for a while,
leave footprints on our hearts
and we are never, ever the same".
She left her heart on yours....anytime you remember her she is alive, with you. Hope you find solace in this tought.
{{{Hugs}}}
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Alyss said on Dec 09, 2006....
I'm sorry she was lost to you so soon CW but I am glad you have your precious memories of her. -
writerspirit said on Dec 09, 2006....
Anytime you lose a child in your life it feels so profoundly wrong and yet it must have been their time. I truly believe that we all enter this world knowing when we will leave it, not consciously of course, but somewhere in our soul of souls.Somehow this makes it a little more understandale when little ones leave us behind.Whatever you believe, if you keep your loved ones always in your heart, they're never realy gone just tucked away. -
shekinah said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW, it seems you were a gift to her and her short life just as much as she was a gift to you. The beautiful love and attention you gave her may have drawn out and encouraged her talents and her bubbliness and vitality.
I think it's so dreadfully sad she passed so young, but the way she affected your life will live on forever within you. What a blessing she is.
((hugs to you))
shekinah
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NotReallyAnonymousAJ said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW--what you said about your niece and the sunset is so true!
After Mike drowned, my dad told me that he believed that God let Mike paint the sunset sometimes.
For many years, I didn't get any sign that Mike was painting any particular sunset, even though I was sure that he was at some time or another.
However, I was running some evening errands a few years ago when I heard Mike's favorite rock song on the radio (Touch Me by The Doors).
Just when the thought crossed my mind that this was Mike's favorite rock song (at least, it was at the time when I asked him), I noticed that the sunset was a knock-out!!!
It wasn't long after that when I heard Touch Me again, and, right after that, I drove by this storage place called Flat Rock Storage.
Flat Rock Storage is somewhere between my place and Indianapolis. I can't even tell you where it is at the moment, but I think it might be around McCordsville or Fortville.
All I know is that, at the time that the song was still playing, I suddenly notice the Flat Rock Storage sign--and, right after that, I saw a sunset that totally knocked my socks off!!!
The connection?
Mike drowned in the Flat Rock River while visiting relatives in Shelbyville, Indiana. Shelbyville is probably at least 25 or 30 miles from where I saw the Flat Rock Storage sign, so I don't believe that this was just a coincidence!!!
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mobil said on Dec 09, 2006....
It doesn't sound like she went anywhere CW. Whatyou wrote was a testament to her living inside you.She's there with you always, I know you missed years,but years are nothing in the overall of life.Moments, only moments count CW. Those momentslive inside you and beat with each beat of your heart.Little H, her heart is beating with yours. You didn't loseher, seems that little girl reminded you of that !This that you wrote, it was beautiful and it reminded methat we never lose those we love.God Bless you, you and Little H. -
Frlncwrtr said on Dec 09, 2006....
CW: I am so sorry to hear of the loss of Little H!
However, it is inspiring to know the influence you had on each other. The closeness you shared, and apparently still do through memories of good times, and of the brilliance she had!
I am so glad that you have such happy memories. Rejoice in them!
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Mamie said on Dec 09, 2006....
Oh CW, I think Mobil hit it right as did all our other friends here...she lives on and I believe it was her intention to say hello to you by having that little girl remind you of her...she probably giggled in heaven....I too mourn for my lost loved ones after years and years...it reminds me that love is eternal...Mamie -
Jenna said on Dec 09, 2006....
Just sending a warm hug your way dear one. God bless! I am soorry you have to carry the pain of that loss. but she is right beside you everyday...she is your little angel! -
mom said on Dec 09, 2006....
I am really sorry that you lost your niece so young. I can't imagine losing a child that I was close to. I can imagine that you must have felt angry that she was taken so young? Maybe she was needed more in heaven. *hugs* -
soulreaver said on Dec 09, 2006....
life is ephemeral... everyone knows that... so, carpi diem! Live the moment... -
mysterious said on Dec 10, 2006....
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your niece. She's an angel and smiling down from heaven knowing how much you've touched her life along with her family :-) -
CreativeWoman said on Dec 10, 2006....
Mimi,
I do smile when I think of her. It is a bittersweet kind of happiness.
ginger,
That's a lovely quote. Thank you
Alyss,
Thank you. She will always be precious to me.
writerspirit,
I think that's true. The last drawing she did for me was what she thought heaven would be like. It was Jesus with his arms wide open in a heavenly cloud.
shekinah,
I truly was blessed to have been loved by her.
AJ,
Like you, I believe that was no accident. You were meant to think of your friend.
mobil,
God bless you too.
Freelance,
I do hold on to those happy memories. Thank you.
Mamie,
Perhaps she did say hello to me that day. Sometimes it really does feel like she is near.
Jenna,
She must have finished her purpose God had for her. I hold on to that. God bless you too.
mom,
I was angry at God for the first few weeks following her death. I felt so strongly it was unfair. She was the sweetest girl with loads of potential. I would have taken her place in an instant. That anger has faded over time. I have to believe that God knows best.
soulreaver,
You are so right. We have to live for today. We don't know if there will be a tomorrow.
mysterious,
She touched a lot of lives. People in her small community loved her. There were over 400 people at her funeral.
Thank you all for being so caring. I know that I am not the only one to experience such grief and sadness, but sometimes it helps to talk about it.
CW
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purrrkitten said on Dec 11, 2006....
Just sending a belated hug to you. (((((((((CW))))))))))
I feel your loss and pain. :-(
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CreativeWoman said on Dec 11, 2006....
purr,
Thank you so very much.
CW
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pixilatedcowboy said on Dec 11, 2006....
sending you a great big hugCowboy -
CreativeWoman said on Dec 12, 2006....
Cowboy,
Thank you.
CW
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