Tonight I got a chance to go back to the town where I went to college. It was like going home, which is strange to think, considering how ready I was to get out of there just six months ago.
Yet, despite my former eagerness to escape, I felt an incredible, nostolgic longing for the place. True, much of this was probably simply because I missed waking up at midmorning everyday, spending a couple hours in class, and then sitting in the coffee house, drinking tea and working on my thesis, but there was a comfortable, familiarity about the place that made me feel welcome in a way my current city doesn't. Even going to my old roomies' new house felt familiar, despite it being a different house than the one I lived in for two years (the fact that the color scheme and the furniture were the same as in the old house helped).
And then, of course, there were the friends. My roommates, a guy friend, an old friend from work (who I have completely neglected in the worst way). I even found myself driving on the road behind an ex-boyfriend. I think he knew it was me behind him when we were stuck in the stop and go traffic. Why do I think this? Well, because he did the whole, turn on the interior light, pretend to look around for something, grab the cell, send a text, pretend to be very busy--you know, a lot of movement designed to get someone to notice you. I, of course, pretended to be oblivious, because I like people to notice me, but I'm too shy to acknowledge them. Plus, I felt guilty. Not that I needed his help, anyway--I'm somewhat obsessed with guys and their trucks, and though we only dated for a few months, I know his well.
Now, despite this rather successful trip back to my old town, I'm forced to face the fact that once again, I am lonely in my apartment, and have to get up at 6:30 to go to a job where I get paid far too much to pretend to work.
