i receive a call from sophie just now. my heart leaps for joy, but my mind complains. lousy timing. i'm in the midst of last-minute twiddling and tweaking before the full hormonal attack hits in a couple of hours.

"uh, hi." i sense her uneasiness, and i'm hesistant to answer. but what the hey, do i want to woo her back or not.

"yes sophie, your voice tells me you're happy today."

"uh, thanks, and your voice tells me you have a cold." i realize my voice has started to change.

"yeah, well, i got caught in a rainstorm a week ago. how's things?"

"chris and i are ok. it's the twins, they'd like to talk to you."

my heart leaps for joy again, while my mind continues the countdown. i hear the phone change hands.

"huh-loo, papa. tee-hee!" nadine sounds like her mama, right down to the way she giggles. "i have good news. corinne and i will be staying there with you for the holidays."

i pull my shoulders back and rotate my head to shake off the dizziness, make sure i'm not dreaming. part of me wants to jump with joy and do a chinese rebel yell. another part continues to click like goddamn heartless computer clockwork.

"uh, are you sure about this? you have your mama's permission? how many days? where's corinne, i'd like to talk to her too." i'm concerned that corinne would want to stay on for another week, and i don't know what to do when the next full moon hits on january 3rd if the twins are still here.

"yes papa, corinne and i planned this ourselves. mama can't come, but she gave her go-ahead. corinne's out, but she'll call you around 11 a.m.. we have tons of gifts for you, tee-hee."

"you must leave by january 3 urgh orgh rrowwrghh." my mind and body are whirling at the very edge. must hold on.

"what was *that* growl? papa, you sound like you don't look forward to seeing us."

"no, i'm -- i'm ok, babe, i'm positively delirious. i'm just unleashing herc and odie for the night. urgh uhm listen, baby, i don't feel well tonight. can i call you back or corinne in 24 hours? hugs to you two, tell your mama i love her. "

"papa, wait, hey, corinne's gonna call 11 am."

"roger that." beep. really callous, moon. heartless father. didn't even say sweet goodnight.

shit, the call's gonna be midnight local time. my mind and body's barely holding on right now. shirt bursting at the seams. hair growing fast. canines and claws gleaming in the full moonlight. when corinne calls, she'll hear unworldly growls and howls and banshee screams.

have to get out of the lab fast. i rip off the electrodes and turn the keypads topsy-turvy. grrrwwaaarghh mmwwwarghhg. running up the mountain trail now. to the bamboo forest. no. stop. have to call sophie and the twins. this time i'll tell them the truth. the real reason we couldn't live a normal family life. waarghh ngngngrhhh.

i look at myself. people would have been terrified by the huge half-man half-wolf rushing past the river boulders in leaps and bounds. until they get close. and find me still wearing eyeglasses. carrying a mobile phone. and waiting to say "hi sweetie pies" to his twin daughters. sheesh, this neurotic werewolf can't even do a decently thorough transition to monsterhood.

i laugh. a wailing, braying, hysterical laughter that sends shivers through the bamboo groves. a distant wolf pack howls in response.