i blogged earlier about the experience my fellow commuters had with the new parking garage at the train station i use to commute. there were a lot of very impatient people friday morning, and i’m often one of them. i resent it when cars move slowly but make it impossible for me to get around them: after all, i recognize that not everyone is in a hurry, but could they please not insist not slow me down?
now oddly, i wasn’t particularly anxious that morning myself, as i knew i had a full ten minutes or so to wait until the next train arrived. but for me, that was atypical.
patience has never really been my long suit. at least, not with respect to things. traffic, commuting, just getting through the day to day aggravations that are part of living…for those things i generally have little patience. i suppose it’s b/c i generally don’t see a reason to take a nanosecond longer doing these things than is strictly necessary. these are, after all, things i have to do, not things i want to do.
after all, none of us commute b/c we want to; none of us sit in traffic b/c we want to; none of us wait in lines or hold queues b/c we want to: we do suffer these things as unavoidable; necessary evils, if you will.
as you can probably infer from the foregoing, i like to think that i have decent patience about the things that i do consider important, that i choose to do, things in which i have made the decision to invest my time. in this respect, i imagine that many of us are the same way.
here’s the thing though: i’m coming to understand that it’s actually pretty important to exhibit more patience than i do about more things than i normally do.
after all, when traffic stinks it doesn’t happen b/c there’s some kind of massive, “frustrate & annoy ed” conspiracy out there. the drivers in the cars around me probably aren’t paying attention, b/c this is for them also something they are doing b/c they must. and if one is impatient, one tends to be short-tempered, more prone to anger, and hence more prone to doing things that will similarly piss off others.
that’s not a situation that’s good for anyone. after all, road rage is annoying and dangerous. but even on an abstract level, being a jerk, while sometimes appealing, is a conscious choice and almost invariably the wrong choice. b/c who wants to be a jerk?
IMX, people want to think well of themselves. knowing that you’ve been a jerk isn’t particularly conducive to that. so i don’t know about you, but me, i’m going to have to try to be more patient with things.
so is that overly simplistic? distressingly naïve perhaps? is there something worth saying in all of this? comment and let me know.
ed
silverwhisper posted on Dec 04, 2006
| views: 225
Comments
-
lioneljay said on Dec 04, 2006....
Actually, there is a “frustrate & annoy ed conspiracy out there" and I recently heard from the New Jersey regional manager that operations are going better than expected this quarter. All metrics are exceeding target levels, which can only mean one thing: next year's targets will be set much higher in order to keep the operational producers motivated. :D
-
purrrkitten said on Dec 04, 2006....
Hmmm... I try to be patient most days. Around this time of year, everything is super slow. I try to make sure I've given myself lots of time and have no cranky babies or whiney boys with me when I know it's gonna be long. I try to save my driving for when it's not rush hour (if you can call it that in my small town... ehehhehe). I have my moments though... Doesn't everyone?
-
momsrock said on Dec 04, 2006....
I think I am a very patient person. In our tiny little town no one is in a hurry. You get used to waiting in line at the grocery store for an hour because Mrs. Smith needs to tell the cashier all about her visit from her kids. Or you wait 20 minutes while Mrs. White tries to figure out how to use her credit card and have to remind her it's a debit card to save her a lot of hassle because it happens every week. It doesn't matter how long you have waited in rush hour traffic (the 30 cars trying to get out of town on Friday), if you don't let every car out in front of you... you'll probably be hung in town square. LOL... -
momsrock said on Dec 04, 2006....
Ed, there are excercises you can do to develop more patience. I would suggest you start with watching a two year old try to play a gameboy and refuses to let anyone help. Rush hour traffic will seem like a blessing. :) -
MissMimi said on Dec 04, 2006....
With regard to road rage, I agree with you. Traffic is what it is, and getting pissed off isn't going to make you go any faster. And as a matter of fact, the "frustrate and annoy ed" conspiracy theory does indeed exist, started by Z and me. On a grassy knoll. :D
-
silverwhisper said on Dec 04, 2006....
LJ, mimi: hey! [trout-smacks 'em both]
purrkitten, MR: i lilve in a suburb neighboring a good-sized city and several major highways. it's a slightly different experience driving where i live. :> and MR, that requires having the kids in order to perform the exercise.
ed -
secretlife said on Dec 04, 2006....
I don't think I was particularly patient until I had kids. Kids FORCE you to be patient. They say patience is a virtue. That's because patience promotes kindness. -
gingersoul said on Dec 04, 2006....
Patience is not something i never been known to possess.
I should indeed be used to long lines everywhere, hectic traffic, pretty pushy people ....coming from where i come from...yet....no way.....maybe i am just wired this way.....
Ed, I have no patience when i drive like you and, believe me, here in Dallas you should have this quality as first requisite to have a driver license...people here is nuts! Yet, i try not to express my rage to others...i just furiously mumble to myself most of the time..:-)But i do have patience in the matter that counts the most: i am patient with my friends, my daughter, for example. Been extra patient with my ex....
With my remote control that doesnt work?...nahhh....
-
MissMimi said on Dec 04, 2006....
I try to be patient and take my time because inevitably if I get frustrated and lose my cool, I end up making things worse. I remember throwing the TV remote because it wasn't working the way I wanted it to. It hit a tea mug that was sitting on the desk, and knocked it to the floor. See, karma will get you one way or another... -
Zayda said on Dec 04, 2006....
I laughed when I read this because I remember distinctly saying to a friend earlier today that children, while managing to be the greatest joy of your life, try your paitence like nothing you will ever know.
I find that my ability to be patient is often situation dependent. I have inordinate amounts of patience when it comes to some things, especially when they involve my son. I have less patience with other things and people. But I am learning to translate the patience I have in some situations to other situations. It just makes life easier that way. -
purrrkitten said on Dec 04, 2006....
Ahhh... silver. I have the added bonus of growing up in a city so I do know what it's like to drive in it - VERY STRESSFUL!!! ehehheheheh...
Again, that's why I live in a small town...
*ducks* :-p
-
boyzmom said on Dec 04, 2006....
I am less patient doing what I want to do because I want it to be done with so I can move on to the next thing. I like to cook but only when it gets done in 20 minutes or so and I can be doing something else afterward (like eating). Things I have to do, I take extra time to do to avoid frustration, I leave early to drop the kids off and I get to work early. I guess I am the oddball. -
CreativeWoman said on Dec 04, 2006....
I have been told that I am patient to a fault. I give people too much room to do their thing. CW -
tlj2442 said on Dec 04, 2006....
Patience is the weapon that forces deception to reveal it self.
Proverbs 14:29 A patient man has great understanding, but a qiuck- temper man displays folly.
The opposite of reckless anger is patience. Patience recognizes that a violent temper makes matters worse, inflicting further damage to relationships and even causing internal distress. A heart at peace gives life to the body.
-
the_infernal_optimist said on Dec 04, 2006....
Patience is a virtue...one I don't possess. :-D I'm good at feigning patience, but I get irritated rather easily with a lot of things. I'm not a hothead, and I don't do confrontation (at least when I can avoid it), but I'm generally impatient beneath the surface. It doesn't do anyone any good for me to display that impatience most of the time, so I don't, but it's definitely there. -
FaithfulDisciple said on Dec 05, 2006....
In the Bible, it says that patience is a virtue. A lot of constructive things can be done with patience. Patience builds our character with humility from within and keen sense of insightful appreciation. Many times, we are always in a rush to do something and accomplish our objectives without being patient enough to carefully analyze the possible consequences of our drastic action. When one is impatient, emotions of rage and anger control us. This is a negative trait since clear thinking can't be had if one is impatient. In our fast pace ever changing world, we tend to be impatient, always seeking for instant self-gratification. The character of patience teaches us to be more thoughtful and develops within us another virtue which is humility and the recognition of other's opinion in addition to our own. Learn from patience and we'll become a better person from it. -
silverwhisper said on Dec 05, 2006....
SL: i don't tell you nearly often enough that you're wise. but you are.
GS: heh...i've head about texas drivers...i shouldn't say anything more than that... :D
mimi: i've had the most annoying things like that happen to me. it's why i try not to vent my aggravation in that way--i find that my luck is often worst then. :>
super z: i'm patient w/ people, usually. it's things w/ which i generally lack patience and i'm having considerable difficulty retraining myself...
purrkitten: o, i don't live in a city--thank heavens! i'd have sprouted ulcers by the dozens!
boyzmom: no, that makes sense: you want to manage your time, right?
CW: i think you're a very patient person. i don't know that i'd describe that as a bad thing in you, though. :>
tlj: that was a particularly well-selected scriptural citation, i think. there's evidence that suggests that all animals get to use the same number of heartbeats over their lifespans. and there's evidence that happier people (i.e., those who are angry less often and hence have lower heart rates) live longer than unhappy/easily-angered people, IIRC.
infernal: i can fake it when i need to, like when i'm dealing w/ a cog in a bureaucracy, but i gotta be motivated to do so sometimes. :>
FD: i like how you bring it back to humility. i think that's a great point.
ed -
lioneljay said on Dec 05, 2006....
I find that I am much more patient over large matters than small matters. If my teenager is having trouble remembering to pick his dirty clothes up off the floor of his room and deposit them in the laundry hamper, I can lose my patience very easily. But if the same teenager called to say that he'd caused a car accident, I'd have the patience of Job to help him deal with the consequences.
Comment on "on the nature of patience"
Related Posts:
more2methanthat
posted on Nov 02, 2009
| views: 58
|
PatienceI am not blessed with it.
At all.... read entire post