• dauntlessreign said on Dec 03, 2006....

  Really? You never feel bitter? that's good to hear. I was once bitter but it didn't turned to be a pitfall for me. Instead i proved them wrong and stand out because i want to let them know i can get over it. sometimes being bitter is just a part of the process. You'll get bitter and finally get better.

• tbs230 said on Dec 03, 2006....

  I guess it's just the why I'm wired, I've felt disappointed, sad, angry, but never bitter. To be bitter would be to stress about all the negatives. Trust me, I over-analyze, but never to the point where all I think about are the negatives.
  

• momsrock said on Dec 03, 2006....

  I guess my sense of humor always takes over and I am never bitter for long. It's easier that way!

• secretlife said on Dec 03, 2006....

  disappointment over and over and over.....years of it. that's what makes people bitter. Sure, as you look from your 20's and 30's it seems do-able that you can avoid becoming bitter. everyone knows on some instinctual level that bitterness is bad and horrible and nobody want to be bitter. But after 20 or 30 years of dissapointments, believe me, that battle becomes very difficult.

• silverwhisper said on Dec 03, 2006....

  i find that being bitter actually takes more energy. JMHO.
  
  ed

• PAPERBACKWRITER said on Dec 04, 2006....

  It is a great challenge not to be bitter tbs230. 
  
  Be glad that you are a forgiving soul.  For some it takes years of practice to acquire what you seem capable of doing, naturally.  To forgive.
  
  Bitterness eats one´s soul.  And yes one´s heart.
  
  Forgiving set you free.  I learned it the hard way.  ;  )
  
  Warm regards,
  
  Paper~
  

• missb said on Dec 04, 2006....

  I've felt dissapointments in my life, but i can say that i'm not bitter, yet. I'm still trying to be very optimistic about everything. Hope that won't change.
  
  Cheers :)

• LadyGamer said on Dec 04, 2006....

  I'm bitter. Not all the time but yes, there are moments in my day while I working my menial peon low end no way out job that I get just a little cranky.

• Beautiful_Wreck said on Dec 04, 2006....

  It honestly depends on the situation. Some things I have been bitter over, some things it just wasn't worth it. I think bitterness comes more readily for those things that strick harshly against the very essence of our being--our soul.
  
  Right now, I am bitter at where fate has chosen for me to land. Perhaps I will get over it.

• gingersoul said on Dec 04, 2006....

  I agree with Wreck.....bitterness steams differently for different reason... usually i am not a bitter person at all ....but am not that forgiving as you are, tbs...good for you....Secret is right ....years of disappointments make you bitter...my divorce made me bitter....now i am replacing that feeling with disappointment and some humour....it takes energy.... being bitter means not having hope in the future...seeing your life as a flat line with no options...i am not there yet..hope i will never be...

• Supermom said on Dec 04, 2006....

  Tbs230, Your entry caught my eye because well...I'm bitter, but I think that bitterness is all in the eye of the beholder, I've never closed off my heart or turned my back on someone that hurt me (mostly my own family) I am bitter about the things that happened, not the people themselves, I suppose in my case I just don't aim my bitterness at people just things. Perhaps the people you're thinking of who turn their backs on their friends are just using their hurt as an excuse to be distant, I wouldn't call that bitter, I'd call it scared. You can be bitter and still have the courage to put yourself out there to be hurt again or you can be hurt and a coward and close yourself off from any chance of reconciliation, Right? i hope my opinion was worth the space I've used.

• peedee said on Dec 04, 2006....

  i was a very bitter person upto 1987. I changed my attitude and that is why I 'm a grandfather of three naughty but intelligent kids. The treachery of the near and dear ones does compel me to be bitter again, but I have a determination not to be bitter unless provoked extremely.

• CreativeWoman said on Dec 04, 2006....

  I think I have an inward bitterness. I am worried that my life will end with tons of regret. I'm working very hard to search my soul for the right answers to prevent that.
  
  CW
  

• MissMimi said on Dec 04, 2006....

  As Secret said, it's years and years of disappointments and rejection. I've always been very forgiving, sometimes too forgiving. I have become harder as I've grown older. In my case, there's not an icebox where my heart used to be, it's more like I've placed it in a box to keep it from gettinig broken again.

• CreativeWoman said on Dec 04, 2006....

  Mimi,
  
  Amen to what you said. Me too.
  
  CW

• organic.writing said on Dec 04, 2006....

  my bitterness takes the form of sarcasm. I don't think I'm old enough to be bitter. It's funny. I work at a coffee shop, so I deal with a lot of bitter wierdos who aren't human until they drink their coffee. But, usually if I say something to them that is kind of bitter--bitter funny--it cheers them up a bit. I like to say wierd things to people with a smile on my face, just to see how they react. I think it's because I look so sweet and friendly, but people always are so nice back to me even if i say something slightly rude. My favorite thing is to acknowledge this guy I named little fabio (named after his flowing blonde hair and short stature) when he washes his hair. I don't know. It's harder to be bitter when you make little things about your crappy life fun. organic.writing a lonely magazine looking for nature and fiction writers

• moonriver said on Dec 04, 2006....

  moonriver confucius say: sometimes me bitter, sometimes me sweet. so all in all, me bittersweet.

• tbs230 said on Dec 04, 2006....

  momsrock: a sense of humor is always helpful when it comes to dealing with dissapointments and hurt...at least I think
  
  SL and Ginger: {{Huge HUGS}} I'm sending a warm fuzzy blanket to both of you this Christmas!
  
  Ed: Being bitter does take alot of energy, I've seen what it can do to people
  
  Paper: It's easy for me to forgive, but I always remember...
  
  Missb and Lady: I'm glad that you can find reasons to be optimistic and I hope that nothing, not even your job Lady, will bring you to that point.
  

• Jenna said on Dec 04, 2006....

  I think at some point in our lives we all feel bitter. And I agree with what has been said...years and years of disappointment and heartache is the root of bitterness. But I do think it is a choice. We all have or will have bad things happen to us....that is just life.  Some people have a lot of bad....it is only natural to feel bitter, disappointed.

  But at some point, I believe one needs to make a decision...will I let this take me and be who I am or will I move on.  I am not saying one night you go to  bed and say well...tomorrow I am not going to be bitter.  It takes work...sometimes years of work, as secret says it is indeed a battle. 

  I am a believer that everything happens for a reason...we do not understand it now and may never in this lifetime....but I have to believe that overcoming the tough times...winning, getting to the other side makes us better...no longer bitter. 

  Believe me, I have done my share of bitching and moaning and crying.  I have built steel walls around my heart...an icebox if you will...but that is not who I am or who I want to be....my icebox has melted...I want to experience the highs in life again...but if you hold on to the bad , the bitterness,  then the joy will forever elude you......

  Sorry to be so wordy here...very thought provoking post.

  Love to you tbs230!

  jenna

• tbs230 said on Dec 04, 2006....

  Wreck, MissMimi and CreativeWoman: I hope you get over the bitterness and are able to work out the problems, both externally and internally
  
  Super: I agree, bitterness should be geared towards situations and not people...and using your train of logic, I would say that I've been scared but never bitter...p.s. Your opinions are definitely worth the space!
  
  Peedee: What I don't understand is the rational behind the bitterness, why not just dissapointment, why must it be bitterness. That brings to mind something distasteful, I could never think of my friends and family as being distasteful
  
  Organic: Sacrasm I use on a regular basis, I never thought that it could a substitute to bitterness though, hmmm...I need to re-evaluate some conversations I've had with others :)
  

• Mamie said on Dec 04, 2006....

  hey TBS, yea I had a "bitter" thing going on for a little while. Okay, a long while. But I did make a decision that mine was born from many years of other people disappointing me....and that I could continue letting it be who I was, or I could muddle through it and be more my authentic self. So I put it all on a sheet of paper and torched the thing. Soon, it felt like air to me and I no longer found it living in my heart...best to you! Mamie

• sweetsoul said on Dec 04, 2006....

  MissMimi...putting your heart in a box to protect it. That's what I heard in the OP. I don't think I've ever been bitter...but my heart has been hurt...so much so that unconsciously I locked it away in a box to protect it from ever getting hurt again.

   

  What I discovered was that I was hurting myself more by not letting my heart feel. So I finally got the courage and let it out. It hasn't quite found what it's looking for yet...but it has loved and been loved...with no regreats.

• Lioness said on Dec 04, 2006....

  HI..Bitterness might be rooted from the negative things that has happened to us, or the bad things done to us. The last time I became bitter was when my co-workers has conspired to malign my reputation. I've gone over that, proving to them that it is not true... That was an unforgettable moment, because I had a conflict with my boss. I realized later that I'd rather spend time doing something worthwhile than harboring bitterness in my heart.

• tbs230 said on Dec 05, 2006....

  Lioness: That's called having the strength to persevere. That's something that I've been working on for years.
  
  Jenna: Thank you Jenna, love and good wishes to you too darling!
  
  Sweetsoul: Letting your heart roam wherever it wants is a scary thought for me...I hope it brings back someone wonderful
  

• dustinthewind said on Dec 09, 2006....

  ditto below...no one intends to be bitter, no one intentionally lives a life filled with bitterness... bitches aren't born - they're made.  some people just get so tired of all the pain they shut everyone out and find it hard to trust or reach out...

  secretlife said 5 days ago...

  disappointment over and over and over.....years of it. that's what makes people bitter. Sure, as you look from your 20's and 30's it seems do-able that you can avoid becoming bitter. everyone knows on some instinctual level that bitterness is bad and horrible and nobody want to be bitter. But after 20 or 30 years of dissapointments, believe me, that battle becomes very difficult.

• evillinclinations said on Jan 22, 2007....

  I always think of life as a learning experience that we're all in together. I guess in a way, I don't take things seriously enough to be bitter about them...it seems like such a waste of time to get all upset about something (or someone) you can't change, and most of life's disappointments are just that....but that's just me.

• purrrkitten said on Jan 23, 2007....

  Is cynisism considered bitterness? If so, I think I'm screwed. I don't think I'd describe myself as bitter. Cynical, yes. Sarcastic, yes. Suspicious of others motives, yes. Untrusting, absolutely. I've been burned big time and I can't seem to forget it.  ~^^

• moonriver said on Jan 23, 2007....

  purrr, cynical is bitter that has become philosophical. hehehe
  
  

• purrrkitten said on Jan 23, 2007....

  Why thanks, moon... *wink wink*
  I guess it takes one to know one?
  purrrrrrrrrrrr   ~^^

• peedee said on Jan 27, 2007....

  Hi ! tbs230, the rational behind the bitterness among the family, what I gather from my experience can be jealousy, clash of interests,a ploy to escape the obligations and last but not the least the inability to help the needy. Dissapointment is just the starting point that gets converted into bitterness.

  Regards pd.

• tbs230 said on Jan 27, 2007....

  peedee, I agree, but as a family unit, shouldn't they be able to get past that? I mean, disappointment, especially constant disappointment, can cause rifts in even the best relationships, but to become bitter? I don't get it.

• peedee said on Jan 28, 2007....

  tbs, you are very right that as a family unit they should get get past that but the mounting degeneration among humans is one of the main reasons we are not able to do so. A sad story indeed.    pd 

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