Hello everyone
I hope all is well tonight! I decided to write this cause I want people to know life sucks and things seem bad but you can do it you can make it. I know what I am going threw soo sucks cause I live it every day. But I wanted people to know its ok. So please don’t say sorry. Ok I don’t live the life of roses and greatness. I live in a crappie way to small home that’s falling apart around me. Good point my great 1970s blue toilet is leaned over to the side. As I coined it the leaning tower of potties. Never enough room for all the kids. But that is not my problem. 6 years ago I was at work all of a sudden I got sick bad and face my face got all puffy and red. I was rushed to the hospital (dog hospital as we call it here) well the dr never came to see me the nurse saved me and all I no from that was my blood pressure was 50/20. Ewww all most dead I no. did not no it at the time though. So not sure why or how my dr never really seemed to care and so ok. Thinking it was the dish soap I touched I never touched it again. Well then 4 years after that bam again this time a herbal hand lotion that they was selling at work. This time no puffy but I went blind. And I was passing in and out. This time I got a dr and he took great care of me. And well to move this along he sent me to a allergy dr well he tested me with what could and in the end of it all he could do was give me a list to stay away from and a epipen and a whole lot of I do not know. Well the whole dieing thing has truly messed with my head and I have lived the life of a scared nut. I have got odc now. And I am picky I wont change anything and I wont eat out. It is a mess I tell my hubby I am a cheep date. Well I had that to deal with and you know I was ok with it and ok with the I do not know why this is happening or what we can test on you. Bla bla bla. But last year my legs have gone numb I got feeling but not good. Very odd really sucks. But you know I thought ok they can fix this. No I have had mris and lupus test blood test all you can test for. And when he got done poking me he said I don’t know what’s wrong I will see you later. Well a year later still shitty legs and they don’t work well and still no answers. And yes it sucks that not knowing. And yes has it caused depression. Oh hell ya. But what keeps me from blowing my head off you say. The people I love. My kids my hubby and my family. They say god only gives you what you can handle. So that is what I am doing. When days suck so bad I just smile and kiss my kids and get I love you. And you no it makes anything bad seem like nothing. And have a great hubby who treats me like a queen. And helps me a lot so I can still work. It makes what ever the not so smart dr.s can’t find ok. So if you think you life sucks and you’re the only one dealing with stuff. Your not we may not have the same things. But we hurt the same. Just reach out and get a hand to hold and say I love you. Just know there is always someone out there willing to listen and be a strong shoulder. Thank you for listing to me talk. Always win
