• secretlife said on Nov 26, 2006....

  Yes, I do.  Although mine's not quite the same as yours, I know exactly where he is.
  He's divorced 10 yrs now, and never re-married.
  He's back in school to get his master's in fine art so that he can teach at college level..perhaps even Rutgers--  For the past 10 yrs he's been a sculptor.  He does body casting....a very interesting profession.
  We keep in touch thru emails for the last 8 years.
  Occasionally we go out to lunch.
  At one time, I thought it was fate that brought us back together ---
  But then I realized what you did....what is past is past....

• Jenna said on Nov 26, 2006....

  Is there any kind of physical desire there.. or just simply friends?

• Zayda said on Nov 27, 2006....

   I remember my first love very well.
  
  My absolute best friend in high school was J.  He was a year younger than me.  We spent nearly every minute with each other during the school year and in the summers.  Somewhere along the line, I went from just considering him a friend to knowing that I had a romantic interest in him. He was my first huge crush.  But he seemed to always be dating someone.  And I always hated his girl friends (go figure).  Of course, they didn't tend to like me much since he was always at my house.  But, he was treated like one of the family...like a brother to me by my parents.
  
  It seems funny to say this but we would sit on the deck at my parent's house and talk for hours.  And I can remember that he would inevitably alway end up on one of big oak lounge chairs/chaise lounges while I would sit in one of the oak rocking chairs.  But then, at some point during our talking I would always end up sitting beside him on the chaise lounge, him with an arm around my shoulders and me with my head leaning against his shoulder. Not once did he make any kind of pass at me.
  
  Then, came my senior year, and his junior year.  Halfway through my senior yea, it was sometime early in the fall--October, I think--we were sitting on the deck because it had been unseasonably warm that day.  We had finished dinner with my parents, and they were working on something in the house, so J and I just went to sit on the deck like we always did.  And, as per usual, we ended up on the chaise lounge together.  Only this time, I was sitting between his legs with my back leaning against his chest and his arms around my waist. 
  
  I don't remember what he said, but I turned my head to look at him. And I just got lost in his eyes and then in his lips.  No, he wasn't my first kiss.  But it was the first kiss I ever experienced that caused my world to tilt.  He was the first boy that captured a piece of my heart.
  
  Now, he's married, to one of those former girlfriends that I didn't like, coaching basketball at one of the local high schools back home where my parents live, and I see him occassionally when I am home.  We are casual friends in that I catch up with him only when I happen to run into him.
  
  Looking back, it was probably more infatuation than full blown love.  My first deep, I could marry this guy, love, was David, of the broken engagment that I wrote about in "Let Me Go Easy".  He and I still keep in touch; he's happily married and he and his wife are expecting their frist child after many years of trying.  We can talk to each other after not talking for 3, 6, 9 months, and it's like we just talked yesterday, so we actually salvaged a good friendship from our broken engagement, but it took some time to get there.
  

• queenparanoia said on Nov 27, 2006....

  while writing this comment i'm listening to james blunt "youre beautiful"
  and please read my post have you ever got youre heart broken?
   
  my first love and i think i still love him is my classmate. we started out as friends. good friends actually. and then i started to notice him differently. he is the exact oppisite of my ideal man physically but all of his good qualities overcome it. at first i ignore it and then i realize i care for him more and more. i have feelings toward him that i can't understand. i can picture out my future with him. and then i told him what i feel. ( i was drunk with tequila!!!) and then he said the most horrible words ever,"were just friends." ouch. my world stop spinning and literally i feel like i'm drowning in darkness. but that was almost a year ago. i stop talking for him for a few months. i ignore him. until my other friend died. i realize that life is too short just to hold grudges. we remained friends. i think i still love him. but i'm not hoping that we could be together anymore. i think he has a girlfriend but too shy to tell me. maybe youre first love is not the ONE. maybe youre first love just let you experience what love is really all about.
   
  to zayda. its nice to know that you guys could still be friends. it really means that love does not end.

• missb said on Nov 27, 2006....

  My first love is now married I think. That's what my friend told me.

   

  We still kept in touch until 2 years ago. I went abroad to study and when i came back, I didn't have his number anymore and he hasn't called me again.

   

  He'll always be remembered. He was my first, of everything.

   

  Cheers :)

• secretlife said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Jenna:
   
  The story of mine is my novel! 
  My post The Letter is the start of it.
   
  When I was a girl, we were best friends for 3 years.  i wanted desperately for it to be a romance, but despite several trips across the 'line', that didn't happen.
  20 yrs later, when he came back into my life, he managed to make me fall in love with him all over again, in very much the same way as the first time-
  Of course the 2nd time i was a grown woman not a girl.
  I figured it was going to go very differently.
  However it did not.
  I keep in touch with him so that he cannot come back at me a 3rd time and pull the same stunt.  And being the sweetheart that i am, i made sure to tell him this.
  we do email and lunch.
   

• scalywag said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I high school, I had girl friends but didn't really date. We all went out as a group.  In college, I dated some, but none of those turned into any kind of relationship.
  
  Do I know where my first love is?  Yup, she's at work.  We've been married for 22 years.
  

• silverwhisper said on Nov 27, 2006....

  i have no idea where she is anymore.  but she prefers it that way and while i did ill by her, i have to respect her right not to be hurt by me.
  
  ed
  

• MissMimi said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I have no idea where he is.  I still think of him and smile even though he was a total jerk in some ways.  It took me a long time to get over him.

• ardnas69 said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I was actually reunited with my first love and I invite you to read my blogs on the way it all turned out. I think even though we all move on-that special place deep in our hearts will always be there for that person.

• lioneljay said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I had a funny string of experiences with early love starting in late high school. Beginning with the young lady that I dated for two years in high school, and finishing with someone that I dated as a junior in college, every serious "first love" partner married the next guy she went out with. So no matter which one was truly my first love, I can say that I know who she married.
  
  The first one spent most of college dating the same guy that she began to see after we broke up in high school and then they married. For many years they had an art studio in our home town but I've not heard much about her in the last few years. I'd like to see her and maybe buy one of her paintings sometime. The second one had a baby out of wedlock a year or two after we stopped dating and then married the guy - a sailor several years her senior. The third broke up with me because she'd met a guy at music school and they married a couple years later. I heard recently that she was divorced and living in a city about 50 miles from my home town. I've been meaning to try to see her for a cup of coffee but the timing hasn't been right. The next two married not long after college. I think that this string stopped at five but I don't really know what happened with #6.
  

• run26.2 said on Nov 27, 2006....

  My first love is married with 2 kids, and while we do keep in touch it is a very platonic relationship on my end. I know that if given the chance he would hop in bed with me again, though. Despite that, he has actually been a good friend. I broke the relationship off because after 3 years, I couldn't see the relationship leading to marriage. We were quite young at the time (20 and 21), however. Sadly, he is quite the player, and although he is married, he still engages in extra-marital activity. So I'm glad it never led to marriage. Still it is nice to maintain a relationship with someone who knew me when I was so young and in high school.

• gingersoul said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I dont know where he is. We were 14. He was going to a different school but he used to wait for me each morning at one side of the street i was walking to go to school. No matter rain, wind, cold. He was there with his blond, curly har, his green eyes, his chiseled nose..he was so handsome and he was in love with me! I was still a ugly duck, for what i see myself now, but boys started to notice me. He was so jealous of me! I love it!

  When he asked me to be his gfriend i thought i was dying. We were holding hands walking after school, i would accompany him to his bus...he lived further than me. He gave me one day a small, fake but for me beautiful ring....and some month later he looked in my eyes and asked me to marry him. My first proposal! I said yes, we could be fiance' for a while....  i was so delighted...but i .broke up with him the next year because he cheated on me with my best girlfriend. I kept her and dumped him. I know he is married and has two kids and left our town. But i never saw him again. This was my first puppy love.

  The more grown up first love i know exaclty where he is. I still meet him and have coffee with him anytime i go to Italy. I was 18 and he was 20 when we met. He was the one i lost my verginity to. I fell so deeply in love with him. Blonde hair, long and straight hair, green eyes (i might have a thing for this kind of features...lol... ). We have been together 6 months then he left for serving the Army. I cried all my tears. But when he went home for a visit i knew he didnt love me like i loved him.

  Still during those past years we kept in touch, being in the same circle of friends. We always remained good friends. He married and have one boy. He is the owner of the jewerly where me and my ex  bought the wedding rings. I thought that it was a perfect circle of love...my first loveand my last one ...(or at least what i was hoping to be then)....when my ex met him he got  a bit  jealous of him....he said he could feel our special bond... When i go back in Italy i always go to see him and we have a coffee together. He was at my sister's funeral last month....such a good friend he is.... i will always feel a special connection with him. He always looks at me with a sweet smile in his eyes. We have had that young and sincere love we will always share. And i will see him again this summer, i know.

• JayneBond said on Nov 27, 2006....

  My first love was a cheerleader at my highschool, only nobody (including myself) thought she went both ways.  Sure she slept around with every boy high school athlete in the small town I lived in (and the surrounding towns as well) but I never imagined that she was bisexual.  I was one of the best athletes in my highschool, got a scholarship for sports to college, and made all-state in a few sports.  It was winter of my senior year when she first approached me.  I had been with girls before, but it was clumsy, mostly petting. We were at a party and very drunk.  Her boyfriend (the quarterback) left in a huff.  I felt sorry for her and gave her my jacket, we talked, she could tell I was staring at her hard nipples.  She invited me back to her car on the ruse that it was parked near the cemetery and she was afraid.  I walked her back and she asked me if I wanted a smoke.  This girl was beautiful, she looked like a younger version of Bo Derek, of course I would spend a little time with her.  We smoked a joint in the back seat of the car and then simply gave into passion- she used me and I loved it!  Of course after that, everytime she got drunk or her boyfriend was away she would booty call me for a late night tongue lashing, and I couldn't turn it down.  Ultimately they found out, the boys in town tried to beat and rape me to death based on the fact that she told everyone I forced her.  Hahahaha that was the biggest laugh.  My best friend was so distraught that he comitted suicide because of all the negativity, and the Catholic church was saying they couldn't bury him because of it.  Ultimately they couldn't prove his suicide, and ruled it accidental.  But the family told me not to come to his funeral at the church because I was a "known homosexual".  I couldn't wait to get out of that town. 
   
  Twenty years later at the reunion I saw her.   She actually spoke to me.  She said she was sorry.  That was it, like it was some small inconsequential thing.  I reminded her that Kenny died and it was one of the reasons why, because she lied.  She walked away.  Too bad that bitch still is SUPER HOT and a district attorney, married with two kids.  I don't think she could ever understand all the harm she did by lying to everyone just so that she wouldn't have to be labeled gay.  It makes me wonder why this world promotes such shitty behavior.
   
  namaste,
  JB

• copsunited said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I like that. My first love. Great thoughts. A few months ago I called my first real love and she said " Who is calling?' I gave my name again..she said..sorry i don't know such a person."
   
  I hung up feeling rather like rotton liver in the bottom of a hornets trap. Oh well..I called my second true love and she said." you sorry son of a  bleep bleep bleep.." I hung up, I can't recall why other than I made her walk home in her underwear from a New Years Eve party some 35 years ago. Gee..you'd think there would be a mellowing in there somewhere. My Third love..well she forgot that I even existed..if she knew in the first place..Jennifer Love...Where fore arts thou....
   
   

• CreativeWoman said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I had a big crush on a guy in high school.  I don't think I would call it love because I don't think he knew I existed.  He was smart, on the football team, and drove a fast car.  I always wished he would just notice me, but I was too shy to make a move.
  
  I never dated in high school or college.  I was the shy bookworm in the library.
  
  The first head over heals in love was my husband.  That's become kind of a tarnished romance though.
  
  My other love is someone I will never have.
  
  CW
  

• winterslight said on Nov 27, 2006....

  my love was a great guy in high school. i never looked at him as the dating type but i dated him and omg it happened i fell in love. and at the same time i got this bad feeling he will brake my heart. well he did. and things got ugly at the break up. which i have never did with any guy before him or after. i moved out of state and as far as i knew we hated eachother. a year later i needed his friendship and i took a chance and wrote him. we became friends again and i was happy about that. then he went to boot camp and he started telling me i love you and so we was going to try it again. well he did it again he just stoped writeing and calling. so no i do not no were he is and yes i hope his life is well. but he was not my soul mate i found him. he was my best friend from the day i moved here. he took 4 years to tell me he loved me and by then i was like oh no if this dont work i will lose my best friend. well i took a chance and we will be married 10 years soon and i love him move everyday. so ya i still hold a spot in my heart for my frist love but he was so not my true love. i got lucky i found my soul mate. and i send many thanks to god for giveing my hubby to me.

• Mamie said on Nov 27, 2006....

  my first love was a boy from high school. I didn't need to know where he eventually lived because for a really long time he lived in my heart. Time and time again I would wonder what happened to us and how in the world he could have turned out to be such a creep...but now I have grown into the answer.
  For that time in my life, I loved him the most. For that time in his life, he also loved me the most...by positioning himself in such a way that I either had to sacrifice my whole person (this is not a sex story, it is a soul one)... so if I was to follow that love of my life, the only thing I had to do was forget myself.
  The ultimate choice was before me and damn it, it was hard! But I chose me. I cried a whole buncha tears. I blamed God and I blamed other friends who dated him afterwards. But now I see that he gave me the ultimate gift of love, because I know now that I am worthy of more. I am worthy of a committed kind of love that is lasting.
  I have not seem him since our freshman year of college  (and trust me that is like 100 years ago) but if I did, I am sure that I would completely swoon...and on a soul level, I would be able to thank him because he allowed me to grow into the life partner I am today with my husband. Woulda thunk that??
   
  But Jenna, I don't understand why you say in your post, that although there was a spark, it could never be...how do you know that for sure? Maybe the two of you needed to go live your lives so that you could grow into the people you are now, maybe even more matched than ever?? Just curious?? How can you know that without a Thelma and Lousie trip?

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Hey guys...thanks for sharing your stories...I feel I could camp out here all night responding to each of you.  Hey...maybe I will. 
   
  Secret...I remember your The Letter post.... it touched me deeply as I have had a similar experience.  I am amazed that you can still see him and not let your heart go....
   
  Zayda... I love your line...his kiss made your world tilt.  Don't you just love those kind of kisses.  And your "Let Me Go Easy" post....still makes my heart ache.  I remember after reading that... I just sat here with tears in my eyes... how you have recovered from such adversity in your life....well woman, you truly are amazing.  I am glad you are happy now with someone who fills your heart.
   
  Queen... after reading you...I had to listen to James Blunt this morning on my way to work.  You think you still love him?  I hope your heart is not hurting too much....you will move on dear one...you will... but you will never forget him.
   
  Scaly..that is just beautiful..... you are a very lucky man!
   
  Sw... we all make mistakes...I think it is admirable of you to choose not to cause her any further pain.
   
  MissMimi... isn't it incredible how long it takes to get over someone.  I am glad you can still smile as you remember.
   
  ardnas69...hi, we have not met... I will go look for your post after this.  And yes...that first love place in the heart is truly special....very innocent and precious in some ways.
   
  LJ... you have made me laugh so hard... I spoke of first love... you spoke of first six loves.... were you the heart breaker... or was your heart broken?
   
  run26.2...you are another I have not met.  Thanks for stopping by... I will go read you too.  The player thing... you are right... best you didn't end up with him...but I know what you mean... it is nice having a deep connection with someone who knew us once upon a time. 
   
  Ginger... I  love that.. my first love and my last. ...but you know... there will be another. You are too special for there not to be. I think that is sweet that you are able to reconnect when you go back to Italy.  Isn't it special to be able to look into someone's eyes... and not have a need for words... you just know something wonderful is there..... 
   
  Jayne...yet another I have not had the priviledge to meet... hello.  I am so sorry your first love does not hold fond memories.  Jayne... I don't think the world promotes shitty behavior... there are just some insecure shitty people out there in it.  I hope life has lead you to happier places.  You are another I will put on my list to read.  Love to you!
   
  Cops... your second love is pissed because you made her walk home in her underware... what the hell is her problem?  Damn bitch..and what's up with jennifer... does she not know you are saving yourself for her?   ;)
   
  CW....I think it is your turn girl....Why can you not have the "other love"?  I think your true love... is just waitng to happen.
   
  Winter...another new soul to me... hi there.  What a beautiful comment.  Good for you girl... so glad you found your soulmate.  Congrats on making it 10 years and still loving him so.
   
  Again... thanks for sharing all!
   
  Love to you!

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Mams.. you were writing as I was... and I couldn't agree with you more.... he did give you a gift... he did help you become the person you are.... to be with your true soulmate.
   
  (But Damn it would be fun to run in to him)
   
  My guy.... better to let things just be...
   
  But I am always up for a road trip.....hmmm... Florida maybe????

• satyr said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Wow, my first love......I do know where she is.  She works for a major metropolitan paper on the east coast.  We started dating my senior year in high school.  She was a sophomore.  We dated through my freshman year in college, but then she wanted to enjoy her senior year, so she started going out with other guys. 
  She is married, but did not marry until late - career became all important.  They have no kids.  We do not keep in touch, although I do keep in touch with other members of her family. 

• lioneljay said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I'm glad you had a laugh, Jenna. IIRC, the breaker/breakee ratio is just about even over my history.
  

• Lioness said on Nov 27, 2006....

  The last time I heard, he has married. But I did not go into the details of knowing where and how he is. I guess it is because I am afraid I'd risk rekindling the feelings I had towards him. I think it is best that he be remembered and remain in thoughts.
  

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  satry...huh... you keep in touch with her family... does she still hold a special place in your heart? 
   
  Yes LJ... you gave me a smile... glad the ratio is even... that just balances everything out then!
   
  Lioness... Perhaps you are right... but what if you aren't?

• Lioness said on Nov 27, 2006....

  I honestly am not sure of it either Jenna, I am not ready to face him again at this time. I know sooner or later I'd have to, but not at this time, I pray, not yet.
  

• momsrock said on Nov 27, 2006....

  No, but if you do can you point him out to me? I've never been in love... Sad but true. I'm 27...no need to panic yet....

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Lioness.. that is ok...Why do you have to?  Is he close by?  Sounds lke things are not resolved in our heart.  Just take care of you sweet one.

• Eilan said on Nov 27, 2006....

  My first love is now my ex-husband, and because we have two children together, I have to see him more often than I'd like.

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Eilan... sorry... does it hurt...or  are are you ok with things?

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Moms...spill it girl...aren't you married?  Wasn't he at one time the love of your life?  You have never been in love?
   
  But you are right.. if you haven't.. you are still so young sweet one! There is time... so much time...

• satyr said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Jenna - I have moved on - I just have fond memories - a lot of firsts there ;-)

• Lioness said on Nov 27, 2006....

  Thanks Jenna.. Yes, there are some unresolved, bitter issues between us. I know time would heal all wounds. But this isn't the time. The doors are closed.
  

• Jenna said on Nov 27, 2006....

  satyr... then all is good...sweet memories are just wonderful....
  Lioness... I am worried about you... are you ok?  Time truly does heal wounds... maybe that is what you need right now.. time.

• Mamie said on Nov 28, 2006....

  oh ok, Jenna, as long as you'd be open for the convertible trip...for a sec, I thought you were making an intellectual decision about who may or may be good for you (love is not organized that way) and it reminded me of some really cool places we have seen...remember Bayshores (in NJ, of course)...oh well, who really gives a fig? :))) Ya can't fight fate!!
  Game when you are!!

• DaydreamDestiny03 said on Apr 05, 2007....

  I've been with my only love for a year now...we'll see what the future holds

  for us.

• FreeSpirit22 said on Sep 13, 2007....

  I was only thirteen. I was madly in love with him and he didn't love me back. I wrote him poetry so beautiful that I have since then be unable to come close to writing about anyone else. He was amazing and it still hurts me to think about even today. We still talk. His current girlfriend is really a sweetheart.

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