Why is Brad Pitt considered to be "attractive?" What standards are those stupid grocery-store magazines using when they say someone like him is "sexy?"
Because he's not. I'm serious. There's not enough malt drinks, vodka or money in the world--Angelina can keep him. I don't understand what the hell Jennifer ever saw in him in the first place. At best, he's average-looking, and mildly inoffensive--like Keanu Reeves...until he opens his mouth. But once either Pitt or Reeves say anything--any freaking thing, I don't care if it's "I like beer" or "Hello"--I immediately distrust them, and I have to fight the urge to reach for my gun and scream "NO MEANS NO!" and prepare to open fire in order to protect myself.
That is, if I had a gun. Or the confidence to have a gun, and not, you know, accidentally blow out my windows. Because that can get expensive, and I become marginally clumsier when invested with responsibility. Just ask my boss.
I knew a girl in middle school who looked like Brad Pitt--not ugly, not really, but god help you if you got her mad, because she would beat the hell out of you if you looked at her cross-eyed. Apparently, because she was cross-eyed, and easily took offense. Otherwise, she was just mean and catty.
I also knew a senior in high school who looked like Brad Pitt (if you squinted hard)--in summary, he was a jackass. A pompous, deceitful jackass who broke some poor freshman girl's heart after using her like an obsequious talking doll. And I can't stand for that.
So am I biased when I say that there's nothing about Brad Pitt that's "attractive" or "sexy" in any way? Yeah.
Do I care what others say? No.
Am I angry that everyone else cares? No, not angry. Irritated is more like it. Ours is a celebrity-oriented culture. I understand that, but I don't like it. I don't have to.
