i've previously mentioned that i frequent a site dedicated to erotica. that site has discussion forums as part of it and i'm fond of the discussions i find there. a perennial topic that i see literally once/week if not more is the subject of three (or more) somes: a couple has discussed having a third person join them in their bed.
having had threesomes (and in one odd case, something that might constitute a foursome) and having seen this discussed by people w/ considerable experience, i'm curious to know what you guys think of the idea: offensive, fascinating, just not for you, an addiction, something else? what do you think of threesomes? if you've been in one, what was your experience?
ed
silverwhisper posted on Nov 17, 2006
| views: 1023
Comments
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MissMimi said on Nov 17, 2006....
This is something Mimi has absolutely no experience with, mores the pity. I think it's a fascinating idea. I used to think I would only go for MFM, but more and more, I think FFM might be worthwhile too. Won't ever happen, but it's fun to fantasize about it. -
Alyss said on Nov 17, 2006....
No surprise I'm sure to hear it is not something I have any experience of at all. To be honest I'm really not sure it would be something for me to try but never say never.
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hstock28 said on Nov 17, 2006....
As Mimi said this is something I have absolutely no experience with, mores the pity. I must admit I do find it fasinating, but it shall have to be relegated to my fantasies. -
secretlife said on Nov 17, 2006....
fodder for fantasies here too. -
Eilan said on Nov 17, 2006....
As you know, my husband and I have been there and done that. Perhaps I'll blog about it sometime.
It's definitely not for everyone--hell, it's not for my husband and me at the moment.
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momsrock said on Nov 17, 2006....
I have never tried it. I don't think it would be for me... My husband, on the other hand, tried it several years before we met and love it. -
scalywag said on Nov 17, 2006....
it is a fascinating thought....but a thought that would only live in fantasies for me. Would I ever do it? I suppose I would cross that bridge if I ever came to it, however that bridge is nowhere to be seen from where I now stand.
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tbs230 said on Nov 17, 2006....
hmmm threesomes...nope, never tried it. My ex and I spoke about it often though...but nothing ever happened, he was a lot more interested in it than I was. but even if the opportunity had ever arisen, I doubt I would have done it, just not in me to share...call me selfish.
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angstywin said on Nov 17, 2006....
can't see myself in that. i tend to be 'territorial' over my partner. though this is a good fantasy.
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sweetsoul said on Nov 18, 2006....
Have experienced it and it was wonderful. No regrets there. Hoping more are in my future. -
louthomas said on Nov 18, 2006....
I've done both MFM and FMF and they're both great. It's much more fun than two couples (or more) because, at that point, it tends to break up into couples.
Threesies, on the other hand, even if there is absolutely nothing bisexual on the agenda, becomes two people trying to drive the third crazy ... if it's done right. I remember one couple with whom I used to party who told me about one guy they had over who, as they put it, thought the mechanics of a threesome were "he gets on and screws and then I get on and screw."
Nay, nay.
In a true threesome, the singular participant becomes the target of an ever-changing potpourri of sensations, frequently by both of his/her partners simultaneously. You will never forget being on the receiving end of this much attention.
In short (too late, I hear you shout), of the many combinations one can have, a threesome is, to me, the penultimate grouping for pleasure: it's small enough to be intimate, and fraught with opportunity and pleasure.
It carries my personal Seal of Approval.
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lioneljay said on Nov 18, 2006....
It would take a massive rearrangement of my personal life, but I'd do another again in a heartbeat - but only with the right people and a good deal of preparation.
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Zulflizo said on Nov 18, 2006....
It is wonderful world.but it will be much more wonderful if u passion -
gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2006....
I did it twice. And it has been offered several other times without making it a reality......
The first time happened with my best girlfriend and her husband, at my house. It was almost more than sex....it was like sealing our friendship in some way and he has been perfect with us..........
The second time I have been the object of the desire for a very close couple of friends. They were like brothers, almost inseparable. When we started to drawn and sell our painting together we ended up seeing each other each day. It seemed really natural that i said yes when they asked me (very nicely) to have a threesome with them. The thing is that it happened in a .....car.....can you imagine doing it in that way? Even though it was a pretty spaciuos one with the rear seats pulled down and a big rear place. It was VERY intimate! Lol..... But i had a lot of fun and they definetely too. Problem was they started to get jealous of each other. Both of them wanted stay with me and they started to do things to gain my interest. One would call me at night telling he had to see me, the other one would come to pick me up at the train, the other one then would invite out for dinner. I finally had sex with one of the two i liked the most and the other one disappeared for some time. We felt guilty but I had news after we broke up that the two of them reunited. They are actually still great friends. i saw them again years ago.
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Bronx said on Nov 18, 2006....
Sorry, SW, can't really help you out; but does it count if I reveal that I have often wished for a second female presence whenever my appetite for it was not fully quenched by a tiring partner? Of course, that was in those days of bachelorhood!
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gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2006....
Bronx...wow...tiring a partner and being still hungry for some more....you seem to have had an "interesting" energy....lol
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Bronx said on Nov 18, 2006....
GS: just used to happen on one of those laid back days of active social networking.
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missb said on Nov 18, 2006....
Nope...never done that either :/ Although yeah, it's a great fantasy.I can understand if you do it with strangers or anyone with no attachment/relationship, but how do you handle the jealousy if you do it with your significant other?I know I'd be jealous :)Cheers! -
JadeLondon said on Nov 18, 2006....
I've been asked to participate (NOT spouse or previous boyfriends) in them, but I live in a decidedly vanilla* world. But my mind--well, I'll leave that to your imagination. *Yes, I tend to favor the phrase, but it seems to be a very apt description. :) -
gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2006....
**Bronx......still impressive........LOL
**Missb...oh, that's why i never did it when my ex husband was insinuating such possibility....i was too way jealous....i can do it only if detached emotionally...then its pure fun ....
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missb said on Nov 18, 2006....
Ginger,Ahhh....I thought so :)Cheers! -
silverwhisper said on Nov 19, 2006....
mimi, alyss, hstock, SL,
MR, scaly, tbs, angstywin: it isn't for everyone, so be aware.
eilan: i think you should. :>
sweetsoul, lou: glad to hear, guys!
GS: it can be absolutely beautiful, no question. :D
bronx: of course you've wished that at some point! :>
miss b: ginger's comment demonstrates the possible risk of jealousy. hell, i had a problem w/ it my first time.
ed -
happykat said on Nov 19, 2006....
Technically, I guess I have had a threesome.
I can say that up to this point FMF doesn't interest me. MFM on the hand....
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silverwhisper said on Nov 19, 2006....
i'll confess that sounds like a very interesting story to me.
ed
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happykat said on Nov 19, 2006....
Maybe i should add that the experience I have had with threesomes was FMF.
All I can say is, "meh."
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silverwhisper said on Nov 19, 2006....
[blinks rapidly]
i have a sneaking suspicion that when someone we know sees this, you're gonna get a phone call. :>
ed
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Alyss said on Nov 20, 2006....
The things you learn about people at SC. ;-)
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happykat said on Nov 20, 2006....
What can I say? I was young.
Remember that whole underestimating thing? I can surprise you.
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Alyss said on Nov 20, 2006....
Not under estimating... never that.
I was more referring to the way in which individuals answer so openly here. ;-)
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silverwhisper said on Nov 20, 2006....
HK: o, relax. that wasn't underestimation. :p
alyss: or indeed, even non-anonymously. :D
ed
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thexperfectximperfection said on Nov 22, 2006....
I saw your post and i couldn't help but think of something i've heard.1 person=Masterbating2 people=sex3 people=three some4 people=four some5(or more)people=Orgy.Kinda random Rather useless My imput. -
purrrkitten said on Nov 22, 2006....
My two cents... sigh. Fantasy fodder also. And I have a lovely imagination... :-D -
silverwhisper said on Nov 23, 2006....
perfectimperfection: yeah, that sounds about right.
purrkitten: as i've mentioned, it can be a bit tricky. :>
ed
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raft said on Nov 23, 2006....
I've been in a threesome and something of a foursome (it was a bit more like two twosome, but anyways..). Both were spur of the moment and not something I had instigated.
I learned that I'm more of a one-on-one type of guy and confirmed it the second time. There is an intimacy that was missing in both those times. It was a good time, don't get me wrong, but it felt more like sport than sex. It could simply have been that it was the people I had been at the time. <shrug>
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pickersplock said on Nov 23, 2006....
Had the chance with two guys, but I turned them down.
No regrets! Unless all parties can detatch themselves
completely someone's feelings get hurt. I'm sure they
would be mine, I have a hard time separating sex from
love which is why I've avoided one night stands as well!
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silverwhisper said on Nov 24, 2006....
raft: it's funny, describing it as sport. that's actually a pretty apt analogy, IMX.
pickersplock: that sounds quite sensible, i think.
ed
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raft said on Nov 25, 2006....
Pickersplock: You might have something there. I obviously managed to detach both times. I find the intimacy of a shared moment, even if it's a one-night-stand, much more rewarding. You get to learn and know the other in little ways, but I digress.. And you're also right, if you know yourself well enough not to be able to do that detachment then you're better not do it. :)
SW: What can I say? Gift of the image (not). The -somes have a lot of voyeurism and exhibitionism in it. If given a chance I'll preen, so.. Sport especially in an exhibition sport sort of way.
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silverwhisper said on Nov 26, 2006....
it was good stuff, raft. i might have to use that metaphor myself.
ed
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backdoo said on Jan 19, 2007....
i would love to try a mmf with my wife. the thought of her and someone else turns me on -
jeffreyz said on Nov 13, 2007....
Hi gang , new here......but here we go!!!
I am the male 1/2 of a married cpl of 15 yrs and 3 yrs b-4 marriage.
We tried our first 3 some just b-4 we married. It was a MFM and I
was ecstatic. My wife on the other hand was not as impressed
w/ the idea but agreed to try it. She also now enjoys it very much.
We have 1 big issue though that she cannot seem to overcome.
That is she feels god will frown on this. She is very religous and
does not like to "violate" gods rule. She is experiencing a bit of
anxiety over this and cannot fully enjoy herself for that fact and that
fact only! Any thoughts would be appreciated!
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silverwhisper said on Nov 13, 2007....
badkdoo: that's a very common fantasy, i understand.
jeffreyz: first, welcome to soulcast!
honestly, when you come right down to it, not being monogamous is contrary to what we're always told about marriage. but here's what i think: if your wife is religious, she will have to find her own way to make peace with it, if it's something she wants to continue doing at all. personally, i'm an agnostic but i believe that if there is a god he or she knows what's in our hearts and that what's in our hearts matters more than what we do. to me, cheating happens when there's deception, but in a three (or more)-some, there's absolutely zero deception happening: you're doing it for everyone's mutual enjoyment.
ed -
Bk2708 said on Nov 12, 2008....
I currently am wrestling with the idea of having a threesome with my boyfriend of 8 months. We are very open. We both have an understanding about each other that we are very sexual. I on the other hand am completely satisfied doing it only with my boyfriend... he on the other hand has expressed to me that this is something that he wants to try.. and he will probably want to have more of. I am in love with him.. I want to fulfill his fantasy so that if we do stay together he wont go off and cheat and lie. I on the other hand have this enormous feeling of jealousy. I trust him. But we discussed last night that there is a big risk factor with doing any of this. I know that there is risk. I dont want there to be risk. I'm scared he is going to hurt me and cheat on me and what we have now.. which for me has been the best relationship I've had.. will be ruined! I am open to it for the experimentation.. buttt.. i cant get over the fact that.. this risk is hanging over our head. We agreed to set ground rules.. but do you think I should do this? I need help deciding.. any thoughts... I dont want things to change! -
silverwhisper said on Nov 18, 2008....
welcome to soulcast, BK2708! personally, i think that if there's any friction or stress in your relationship re: jealousy/insecurity, this is absolutely the last thing you should ever, ever do.
sorry i'm late answering, i haven't been around much lately.
ed -
gingersoul said on Nov 18, 2008....
Ed........just grabbing the rare chance to say hello to you....Hope life is treating you good...:-) -
silverwhisper said on Nov 19, 2008....
hey there, GS! nice to see you again! :>
ed -
gingersoul said 13 days ago....
Ed.....it seems we made ourself pretty scarce these days, isn'it? ....:-)
But you know.... i am a very selective scaster ...still.... I always find the time for the good ones....like you......:-)
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